I ACCIDENTALLY HAD SEX WITH A COUCH! revived edition

i hate it when couche's rape me

 

One feels reduced to a mere sex object that way, huh?

 

hahaha this thread is awesome. I came across it from a random google search. I love these sorts of stories, they just make your day that little bit brighter~! I hope the thread doesn't die.

Anyhow... I guess I should post a couple of stories eh?

The first one is kind of lame but I laugh about it now.

So, for people to understand why it is funny there are two points to be made. I myself am in a wheelchair permanantly, and my brother is morbidly obese. Both may seem horrible to say but the story is kinda funny...

Anyhow, in my mothers house there is this little room which has four doors branching off it to various parts of the back of the house. This room holds a phone. I was on the phone to someone and my brother was leaning against a door frame, annoying me. Now the space in that room is only about a metre wide... So I brilliantly got the idea to punch my brother to try and get him to leave me alone.

Anyhow, so I punched him square in the gut, and my hand bounced back off. Now I punched with all the strength I could muster, and the force of bouncing off him sent my chair tipping backwards and I ended up hitting my head on a doorframe, and ended up on the floor confused and with a huge lump on my head. Of course... My punch didn't hurt my brother at all... He just laughed his ass off at me.

Another story... Hmm

So, my friends and I were all having a piss up under the carport at my mothers house, and two of my friends decided that they wanted to have a drinking contest. So, two hours later and more then ten shots under their belts they start puking into the then empty lot next to our house.

A dose of Oranje juice and milk later they stopped puking and went inside to pass out.

So this is the funny part, at least to me and my friends. A few months later the patch of ground they puked on ended up growing grass~! We used to point to is whenever they came over and tell them they were fathers to the grass, as it was the only spot on the whole vacant lot to have any sort of greenery on it...

Haha the second one is kind of lame but it's funny to me and my friends.

 

One mo time--

 

Gives a new meaning to the word "couchlocked."

 

I kind of like it.

 

Ok----noobs enjoy. And add some more.

 

Hehe how do you have sex with a coach??

 

With a coach? Haven't you ever seen Porkys?

Stay Brown,
Rev J

 

--------------------------------------------------------go

 

I woke up once to my dad eating my pot brownies once. The fat fuck ate 3/4's of a batch of brownies.

 

El bumpo-------

 

I've woke up on the lounge, pants round my ankles, cock still in my hand and a porno playing on the TV. Lucky it wasn't mum or dad who woke me it was my sister LMAO

 

Oh man!! Good one.

 

That sir...was classic.

 

I never humped a couch by accident before, did it intentionally a few times.

 

Take this,suckers!!!!!

 

Thought I'd bump this again--------lotsá noobs.