I accepted my death last night

Im not gonna lie this thread is pretty badass. You need some balls to be able to "accept" that you gonna die.

 

I HOPE there is something else, but I won't be sure until I die; none of us will be. I look forward to finding out, actually. I probably won't have to wait very long either. hahaha

 

What? C-section? lol Yeah man....I have huge ears, and that's the only way they could get me outta there. I wouldn't fit through, otherwise:bigear:

 

lol.... Me either. I think I made sure of that with the 2 packs a day for 16 years. The only thing about it is that I wish I could come back and say to a few people.... In yo face, biatch!! I was right!! But, I don't wanna do the happy dance so bad that I'm ready to die for it. At least not yet. I got some shit to do first.

 

I don't have balls, but I've accepted it. Though, I'm pretty picky about how I want to die. No fire, no torture, no cancer/stroke and live in a nursing home forever. Something quick, like a heart attack or a shot to the head, and I don't wanna know it's coming. So, really that makes me kind of a pussy and not so bad ass. The being dead part is ok, I just don't want it to hurt.

 

Yeah cigarettes are a bitch. lol I need to stop smoking, myself. Do you still smoke?

It would be nice to be able to come back and tell people not to waste their time believing in the wrong shit and to just live life the way they want to live it. If there is a god, then he should be happy as long as we treat people right. If that's not enough for him, then he can go to hell:tongue: haha

I have shit to do before I die too, but fuck it. lol That being said, I just hope I die happy. Aside from that, I really don't give a shit when or how it happens.

 

TRUE THAT! There is one thing I can say, though. If I died right this second, I could die with no regrets and that's important to me.

Babe, I just quit smoking 6 weeks ago Friday. It's sooooooo hard. It wasn't as hard as the other 5 million times were, but I rejoined the forums and stuck my nose in. And, I don't think I've let my THC levels get very low during this time either. That helps a lot, and thedope rolls a pretty sick joint so that feels like a cigarette. The patch helps a lot, too. Sometimes I felt like rolling in them though. That's when you grab a joint and a nap.

 

I wouldn't regret anything if I died right now either, since I've learned from all of the stupid shit I've done. If I didn't learn from everything, I'd have MANY regrets though.

That's awesome. Congrats So are you and thedope "together" or something?

 

tyvm.... *takes bow* You're very lucky you weren't in my immediate vicinity sometimes, but my name hasn't been in the headlines, so I think I kept my calm pretty damn good! I've been in food service for over 20 years. You can't quit smoking and be nice to your customers, so I got out of the biz. That reeeeeally helped. Hope you can master the quitting. You're still young and will benefit so much from it.

Yeeeeeah. thedope is my hetero lifemate. lol... He's a pretty good kid, and has shown me a thing or two.

 

I can definitely see how it would be hard to quit in the food service business. lol I'm not even gonna try to quit for a while; at least a year. It would be hard as fuck to stop smoking cigs while I'm in rehab, so I don't see the point in attempting to do so.

 

Uuuuuh, no. I don't think that's a good idea either. I've done a bunch of drugs in my life, but giving up the smokes was worse than any drug. I have committed random acts of violence all in the name of needing nicotine.

No, save all that for later and get through your rehab.

 

Whatt gnarly. One thing I just learned bout my home boy

 

The ultimate badass way to die, is to eat yourself raw, starting with your hands.

 

hahaha Random acts of violence for nicotine. That's good shit. No, I definitely won't be quitting anytime soon. lol I'll definitely quit eventually though. The main reason I want to quit is because it's so fuckin expensive to smoke. lol

 

I just read that and was like woah thatd be insanly intense dude and it was hilarious. lol

I accpeted that iam here on earth before i accepted that.Why the fuck is life like.. so four deminsional? if your understand me. lol

 

I've told myself I accepted that fact plenty of times before.

But sitting there in my room, tripping a trip that was 20 times more intense then I was ready for, seeing my friend who was right in front of me as a 2 diminutional oil painting then as a projection on the wall. Having my heart beat so incredibly fast that I could actually hear the blood pumping through the main tubes in my neck for a good 30 minutes strait. It seemed inevitable that I was going to die any second. I Knew my heart was going to give out in a moment or two then my best friend would be left to deal with my body. I felt kind of guilty about putting that burden on him. It felt kind of unfair that my last problem on earth was half resolved already and his were just starting.

Obviously I eventually calmed down. I actually ended the night laughing and having a good time.

And I know that sounds terrifying (it was lol) but honestly I feel kind of grateful. In my mind death was inevitable. I got such a rare opportunity to look death in the face... and I'm proud of how I handled it.

I also realized that every time I said "I'm not afraid of death" I was full of shit. Yes I am, and that's okay.

 

Hahah woah dude nice that was fun to read. Yeah death is like GAME OVER.
When you get close to it like you are talking about sam, you get the most intense adrenaline rush that you can possibly get. I wish I could get that rush without having near death experiences.

 

Real macho is blow drying your hair behind a 747.

 

How do you wanna bet your gonna hear a womens voice? Like a spirit communciator coming in to contact with your free spirit guiding you to your next body or even perhaps your next planet?

 

Um...what?