Pre-introduction This has to be the longest trip report I have ever wrote. And at the same time it was the craziest experience ever. I will be glad if you will take some time to read it. I have put a lot of effort into it and I would like to hear your opinions about the whole thing. I have tried to make it as easy to read as possibile. Introduction Holy fucking shit I did not expect that. I've took 15 HWBR seeds (madagascar) and smoked a bit of weed. My last few psychedelic trips left me unfullfilled and wanting more. This one changed that. Word of self defence: I have experimented with HWBR before, 5 seeds did nothing to me, 10 not much and my previous 15 seed only trip was really nice, but nothing close to what other psychedelics offered. I haven't took any psychedelics for about a month, and didn't smoke weed for one week before this trip. I don't remember time too well, so most of it will be estimated. Something told me this will be nice day for a real psychedelic "breakthrough" experience. And it was, but not the way I have imagined it. Getting ready... I have wrote down ingestion time on a piece of paper, it was 16:10. This time instead of chewing everything I have grinded it with hammer. I've read that most of LSA gets into your system through saliva, so I thought that grinding it and then chewing will give me better results. I have chewed it for 30 minutes and then swallowed it. I though that this small chunks will be better for my stomach, since it won't have to digest big pieces. Boy was I wrong... Seems like a normal HBWR trip I have already felt something few minutes after swallowing it. Everything looked the same but 'different'. If it makes any sense. I have prepared my weed pipe, putting last chunk which was left and brought all the tripping accessories. I didn't want to just get fucked up, but have a proper psychedelic experience. Beginning of euphoria. While waiting for the effects to rise, I've went on a balcony to smoke a cigarette. I've noticed that I have strange, blurry-like vision. My perspective was slightly changing, when I focused on trees or houses. Some parts seemed to be extremely sharp, while others kinda blurry, like there was another transparent layer of what I see, put in-front of my normal vision. On top of that I had this great, euphoric mood, similar to what I had on my other HBWR trips. I watched landscape, trees, clouds. Everything seemed so beautifull, so strange, so 'alien'. It felt a little like I was dreaming. I thought something in lines of "Holy shit, this is so awesome. And it haven't even started properly yet! How long it was since I started chewing them, hour? less? Can't wait for the real trip to come!" Stupid fucking me... Back inside. Everything seemed so strange. I still didn't have any visuals, but it felt like it is a copy of my house, not real one. From this point on, I have hard time putting it all together. Not long after coming from balcony I've started feeling this stomach irritation. Plus I still had taste of the seeds in my mouth. It is truly awfull. They taste like wood soaked with piss... At least I think wood soaked with piss would taste like that. Bodyload. Remembering other trips, I've decided to not move too much, since walking increased stomach ache. I could walk few minutes not feeling anything and then suddenly I had to sit, because I've felt like I was about to vomit. Didn't want to do that. That would probably lessen the effects and I didn't want that... (yet) It works kinda early... Confusion started increasing. I've closed my eyes to see if CEV's are there. Still nothing. I just walked around my house while sinking in euphoria. I couldn't remember what I wanted to do, what I came for, so I have just kept changing rooms, chanting some random noises and rythmically tapping on stuff for some time. Awaiting visuals. There still were no CEV's at it was kind of early into the trip. It had to be about hour and a half or two hours after I started chewing seeds. Usually it takes me at least 2 hours to feel anything on HBWR, but for some reason this didn't come into my mind and thinking that the proper trip is close I've prepared my bed, phone and headset. I guess it took me at least half-hour, since I was still wandering around the house forgetting what I wanted to do all the time and sitting down from time to time to get my stomach back to normal. Something is definitelly happening. Once bed was ready, I've played guitar a bit and played with my animals. Their fur was incredible in touch. When high I always have this feeling that they can sense that there is something off about me. (well, I was behaving like a retard for last hour but of course that didn't come to my mind at this point...) Playing guitar was awesome, but different from last time I did it on HWBR. For some reason I keep expecting similar trips on same substances, but they are always different. Smok'a da weed'a. I thought that this is perfect moment for weed and after it I will lay down and immerse myself into exciting world of psychedelia. There were so many things I wanted to do in this state of mind, but I have decided to go this way, since for quite long time I've been drifting off and just trying to get as much pleasure / fun out of psychedelics. I have prepared chair on my balcony, took blanket, my stoner pack of cigarettes and went to do the thing. Beauty of the world. Just sitting there was insanely amazing. Watching everything around and drifting into void with my mind. Usually I take huge hits, but now I've decided to go slow with it. I've just touched it a little with flame and started to inhale slowly, instead of burning the whole thing at once. It was amazing. It tasted nothing like weed. I have never felt anything ever close to this. It was something like usuall body high from weed + euphoria from HWBR + vision blur + strange body feeling. There were no crazy things like stuff melting down, but what I have felt at this point is impossibile to describe. Just about the time. I kept sitting there for some time, then went inside and lay on my bed. I've quickly noticed that CEV's are starting to show themselves. My retarded mind thought: "Fucking perfect timing, good job..." I have listened to few Sphongle tracks, but for some reason I don't remember much from it. There definitely were some CEV's but I can't tell much about them. Shortly after my parents came back home. And I'm the type that gets extremely anxious around people when tripping. At this point I didn't know that it all was bullshit and the real trip is about to start. Poor parents. I have heard door noise, but just kept lying there with my headphones for some reason. When my dad came into my room I became terrified. Act normal, act calm. Took my headphones off and tried to listen to him. At this point it came to my understanding that my mind just isn't working right. I've put my whole attention trying to catch some sentences from what he was saying and reply something, just so I seem to be as normal as possibile. On top of that, speaking was extremely hard. I couldn't make longer sentences because I just kept forgetting everything, like my memory was being erased every few seconds. So I just kept replying as short as possibile... "yes", "no", "yeah, I'll do that.", "no, I'll do it tomorrow", "fine". Trippy trip. I have never went walking on psychedelics, I usually just lay somewhere, or do something in room / house, but at this point some stories of people doing it and having fun came to my mind. And I have decided that I will do it, since I don't want all of this substance to waste. It was already dark when I announced that I'm going for a walk. "Alone?" - my mom asked. "I'll take dogs... and flashlight...". Mental retardation arises. And then I just kept standing in my room. I wanted to go for a walk. But I didn't know how. How do I fucking go for a walk? What do I do? What should I take? Dogs. I should take dogs. I walk to different room. What am I doing here? What did I wanted to take? All there was in my mind at this point, was "I'm going for a walk.". Nothing else. Literally. I just kept standing there thinking this. I was becaming anxious at some points, but then I was forgetting it and just had this walking though in my mind. It is impossibile to describe how confused I was. I had literally empty mind. Confused. At some point I decided that I have to do anything. I don't know what I should do, but standing in middle of my room probably isn't the thing. I started walking around house and searching for things. I didn't know what I was searching for. I knew I have to take something, but what? I just kept walking and looking at things. Those are keys. I should take that. And I didn't. I went in a totally different place instead. Stoner pack, should take that, maybe I'll want to increase this high. (this actually went through my mind) And I took it. I kept wandering like this for some time, when I realised that I have all the things that I need, which were keys, pack, flashlight and dog-lead. At least I though so. I've put collar on one of my dogs, the other one is always running without it. Thankfully I got this thing right. I put shoes on and after another moment of confusion I've announced that I'm going. I didn't catch what they said, but they said something. I just left the house confused as fuck. Just don't trip. I went to the back of my lot. And noticed that I can't see shit. Yeah, its a night you retard and there are no lanterns... All I saw were just fucking visuals. Extremely intense. When I was closing my eyes, they were becoming so strong and fast that I couldn't keep balance. After some time I've got used to it a bit and started looking for the proper key. I was torturing myself with it, when I realised that I have a flash light. Then I kept torturing myself for little longer, since it didn't help me too much. False assumption. In case you didn't deduct it from my previous describtions, I'm living in a forest. Theres a forest on my lot, and when I cross my back-gate, guess what? Forest. So I am on this path, one dog running around, another I have on leash, I play with my flashlight. I'm pointing it on my cat. Wait, what? Oh yeah, thats what my mom said when I was leaving. That our cat is outside and it will probably follow us. (that's one awesome cat, by the way. It always sticks to me when I'm walking my dogs). How did I realise this? I guess the substance is wearing off. Shit, I can handle it, I will turn off my flashlight and enjoy nature and night. This is my 10th year living here. I know this forest better than my pocket. I will totally handle that. (wrong...) Immersed in beauty. So there I am, fucked up in middle of a forest. This is, incredibly beautifull. When I close my eyes, I keep loosing balance and the most intence CEV's just keep swirling around, morphing, changing, moving. They are like stripes, in middle of which something goes through them, like bloodcells through a vein when looking through microscope, then those aren't cells anymore, they are letters, letters in all collors just going somewhere, like on a road. Or highway, because they are fast as fuck. These highways with letters keep changing into complex patterns, like hexagons/octagons, connected with lines. Then they aren't hexagons anymore, they are circles in all colours of the world. Then they are hexagons again, then they mix together. I fall. Open my eyes, since its dark as fuck and I'm too stupid to use my flashlight CEV's morph into OEV's. It is like I was seeing CEV's with my eyes open and world around it, trees, my animals, slight rays from moon interfere with them and change them. My stomach feels horrible but I don't care about it anymore. I'm happy, excited, scared. I feel blissed. I keep walking and watching the world of psychedelia around me. My mind keeps wandering through all sorts of thoughts with extreme speed. I feel like I'm having more thoughts every second than what I had through my entire life. I happened to take my phone, so I put headset on and play some music. It makes everything feel more intense. Incredible. Taking a break. And then I stop. I don't know where I am. This is some sort of path crossing. I recognise it after some time and go to right. I stop in the middle of it again. My mind is empty. Music is blowing my head up, but I keep having it turned on. Even if I wanted to stop it, I wouldn't know how. I keep saying some stuff, I don't know what it was. Maybe I was talking to my dog, I don't know. I don't know anything again. I'm just standing there. I see visuals. And I stand. I never took ketamine, but based on people describtions I think that has to be similar to what k-hole is. Some guy passes me on a bike. I get extremely anxious. Holy fuck I have to look weird. I keep standing there for some time and then I realise that he was probably more scared of me than I was of him. Imagine, you drive through forest at night, and you see big dude standing in strange position, looking around, with barking dog on his leash, which is probably as confused as I was at this point. And this guy is mumbling weirdly, making strange noise and searching something in his pocket from time to time. I've got my shit together and kept walking, being amazed by the surrounding beauty. I ate the universe. Now it is in my brain. I get to some clearing. I remember this place. Now I can see the sky. Holy fucking shit this is insane. I can't express how fucking amazing this view was. Moon, clouds, stars. Stars keep interfering with my visuals. They blink, change position, color, move from place to place. Clouds become more noisy, then less noisy, giving the psychedelic power back to stars. And there is moon. Lighting slightly the clearing. I see more trees and another forest in distance. It is incredibly beautifull, amazing and just insane. Interstellar transportation Then I hear some strange noise. I take my headphones off. Something is buzzing. And there is some light in distance. I don't remember this light. Buzzing increases with time and this light comes closer and closer on background of beautifull nature. Then I realise the noise are the rails, and the light is the train. (I like trains... ) I watch it pass by. It uses its horn and is just fucking loud as fuck and insane. When it passes me I notice name of my city displayed on its back. It brings me back to reality. Well, to something closer to reality. I'm standing on a path, and there are rails going on a hill near me. They are maybe 10-20 meters from eachother. I keep walking down the path. The moment time have stopped and I have lost my ego. Now I'm in middle of the path through this field. I stop to take a look at the landscape again. Suddenly I feel terribly bad. Extreme stomach pain. Legs hurt like a motherfucker, I'm cold and my heart feels like it wants to jump out of my chest. I can't stand. I fall. I squeeze my eyes in pain, but it makes the CEV's go fucking intense. I try to stand up. I'm crouching on my knee, keeping balance with my hands. Dog leash is knotted to my hand all this time. I feel like crying. I don't know what to do. I'm scared to death. Am I dying? Grass feels great in my fingers. And it also interferes with visuals. At least moon is shining so I can see anything. Sometimes I see how these 'higways' with letters and patters are being put on grass. Then I see something like small shining lights on it, but then they dissappear and then I'm in the world of cells again. I panic. But I can't do anything. So I keep crouching there. I feel terrified. Suddenly, I forget where I am. Where the fuck am I? I barely recognise things. I've been here millions of times day or night, but now I just can't recognise shit. I just keep asking my-self. Where am I? But who am I? Who am I?! What do I do?! Where the fuck am I? What am I supposed to do? I don't know what to do!!! I don't know how to stand up, I don't know how to move. It is not like I am trying to move, but can't. I don't know how to try to move. I don't know how to do anything. I don't know anything. Who am I? What do I do in my life? Maybe if I remind myself what I do in my life I will know what to do know? But who am I in my life? What is my life? Am I alive? I have kept being like this for some time. I have no idea how long. Then I stand up. Sir, did you happen to see my ego? I should do something. But what do I do... I should do anything. I can't just stand here. I should go. But where should I go? How do I 'go'? I need to get home. Home. Yes, If I will find myself at home it will be alright. But how do I find myself at home? I need to go home. But how do I go home? Where is home? What is home? What the fuck am I? What the fuck is happening? I need to make sure I didn't drop anything. I need to go home. I need to make sure I didn't drop anything. Did I drop something? I need to check if I have everything. I must have everything. But what must I have. I need to go home. I need to be moving. But I must make sure I have everything. This sky is fucking amazing. Who am I? Where am I? This is my dog. Holy shit I have my dog. Holy shit, I love you. Thank god I've brough you with myself. I want to hug you. But how do I hug you? I want to feel your full, feel your chest. You are good dog. Thank god I have you. I need to go. Where am I? Who am I? How do I hug my dog? Can you hug me instead, dog? I need to keep moving. But this sky is fucking intense. I need to make sure I have everything. Am I alive? I kept being in this state of whatever it was for some time. I was searching my pockets. Touching things, to make sure they are there. Then forgetting if they were there. Not remembering what I have touched. Not remembering what I was supposed to have. Could manouver my hands. I was trying to put my phone and headphones into my pocket, but it seemed like it was impossibile, whatever I did I couldn't put my headphones there. I felt phone in my pocket. Took hand out, and there were headphones in it. Put it back into pocket, took hand out again and they still were there. I managed to hug my dog. I instantly felt better and kept hugging the poor thing for some time. I grabbed my flashlight. Yeah, you retard, light is supposed to help you. I kept checking what time during all of these, but I just couldn't remember it. And when I was looking at it, it didn't tell me anything. I didn't know what time was. I have seen 21:30, but I didn't know what is it supposed to mean. I thought that this seems like a good time. I think it is good time. I should worry about time. I don't know what it is anyway, but it is good, I think. I need to keep moving. If I move it is good. And so I did. Psychedelic survival. I turned to from where I came from and I started walking there. It was all good untill I have reached the forest. I have seen something, though visuals were there with me all the time. Few steps into the forest I have realised that I have no fucking idea where I am. Not even a little. I din't recognise anything. All I have seen were trees. I didn't even know if I'm walking on the path. It seems like there are no trees in front of me so I guess this is the path. Thank god I had my dog. I was hoping that it will guide me to somewhere I will recognise. But the dog didn't give a shit... It was just fucking happy, stopping all the time, and smelling things and wandering from side to side. And I followed him. And with every second I was realising that I am fucking terribly wrong. It have felt like I was going this path forever. Did I go to another city? Where the fuck am I? What the fuck am I and what the fuck am I supposed to do. Fancy a bit of panic, sir? I was never really lost. Sometimes I wasn't sure if I was following the right path, but was never so fucking lost as this night. I didn't recognise anything. Everything seemed unreal. Even though I had my flashlight on, it didn't help me at all. I paniced. I was extremely exhausted, but I just kept running in front of me, not knowing anythigng about anything. Literally. I just kept running with my dog and it seemed like an eternity, with every second putting me in even worse condition. My mind was totally collapsed. After some time I've noticed a bit lighter spot in front of me. Maybe I will recognise it. I had no fucking clue what it was. Normally I would know from the distance, but I had to go into middle of it to finally recognise the place. I was so happy. I took a turn left and proceeded forward. And then I lost myself again. Again I couldn't tell where I am at all. I was about to burst into tears. But I kept moving forward, hoping the best. And there I was, on the road, with light, with buildings I recognised. Simple things are complex. I have lost myself on a straight path. Twice. And I was about to do it third time, but I recognised in time something is wrong and went back. Finally I managed to get home. Saved. I have run into house and then realised that my mother is there and that I should behave normal... Managed to somehow reply to her questions with sense. I sat in an armchair and started watching a movie with her. Or more like staring at the screen, being happy to be home and wondering about these strange geometrical shapes people had on their faces. Yeah, visuals were still there and they were still strong. I had to be two or three hours in this forest. If you look deep enought, you can see the universe. When it finished, she went to do something in the kitchen and turned lights on. When shee looked at me, she said something in lines of: "Oh my god, your eyes are so huge. It looks like your pupils are taking all the space, there is barely any of this green thing visible." My smart reply: "Yeah, I'm really tired". "Did you take any drugs?", "No, why?" (because your eyes are fucking huge, you moron...), "Did you smoke weed?" ( Yeah, I wish it was weed ). I just kept negating everything. I'm strange person in general so I've figured out there will be nothing wrong if one night I will be extra strange. Zero-memory world continues. Much else didn't happen, other than 2 hour long hiccups, trying not to vomit all this time and trying to understand what they are saying to me. Since I wasn't doing too good at it, I've decided that I'll lay down, watch TV and pretend that I am sleeping. Looking back. This has to be the most stupid thing I have ever made. Nonetheless, looking back at it, it was amazing experience. Psychedelics aren't supposed to be all nice all the time and even bad trips can be meaningfull. I'm writing this day after the trip, so my emotions didn't drop yet and I didn't manage to get my shit straight yet... Now just sit... think... and retrospect... Never again? Definitely not 15 seeds. If I decide to trip next week or two, I'll take 10 seeds and more weed this time.
Next time I would suggest using peppermint with it for the sickness. Without it, 2 out of 2 people puked; With it 0 out of 4 people puked! It really works!
This is a great report. It seems like you had a lot of anxiety but handled it pretty well. I can definitely see how it might have been troublesome being lost in a forest, but I like what this says about psychedelics being able to turn a straight path into a serious adventure. I really love the line about asking if the dog can hug you.
Your previous 15 HBWR seed trip report had me wanting to explore this dose, this one makes me not so sure. was this the same strain that you explored last time on 15 seeds? Sounds like a very, deep meaningful trip but also sounds kind of disorienting and harsh. I didn't really get reminded of Ketamine much from your descriptions, HBWR sounds much more emotionally engaging and 'with it' eventhough it does sound like some ego loss. It's good that you ventured out into nature on the trip, even if that was the most difficult part.
These were exactly same seeds from the same pack. What I think made the difference was grinding it and then chewing for a long time. This basically gave the effects that LSA extraction would. You could try grinding them, putting it into teabag and then chewing / mixing with saliva and moving around your mouth. This wouldn't probably give as bad stomach issues, since you won't be swallowing seeds themselves. I also had this mental retardation last time, but not to this extreme level. And weed had to definitely influence it. I have felt different in the same moment I started inhaling and then it still had to grow for some time. Other option would be to use syrian rue with it, but this could be potentially dangerous. I'd say go with 5 seeds (grinded or extracted) + syrian rue first, if you decide to do it. I would like to try both 10 grinded seeds + weed and 10/15 grinded in teabag, but I'm moving to dorm in other country next week and won't be able to do it. If you wanted to pick it up where I have left, I'd be really curious to hear how it goes. Also make sure to time it to be at night, since visuals are more stronger this way. I have to say this nature part made the trip. It was truly amazing experience, though horryfying at some points. This wasn't something that I'll forget, it brings me back to my first times with psychedelics and my 4-ho-met trip which started all of this... After 2 years of not especially fullfilling trips I've finally got what I wanted, taking big dose of some synthetics could be probably better way, but HBWR is just different and unique.
I used to eat HWBR seeds. So I couldn't read it further than the ingestion time. I get nausea right away when thinking about eating these seeds.
