HUSBAND WANTED A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED: MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, NOT RUN AROUND ON ME AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED ! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. On the second day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs. The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you ? Just look at you...you have no legs." The old man smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you !" She snorted. "You don't have any arms either !" Again, the old man smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you !" She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed ???" The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, "Rang the doorbell, didn't I ?
Q: How many husbands does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Fuckit, she can do the laundry in the dark
Don't remember if I saw this one in here or not, but--------------An Asian person visiting the US for a couple months was coming in weekly to exchange the money he was sent from home into US dollars. The exchange rate remained stable for a few weeks and then one time the money was much less than what he had received previously. He was visibly upset and asked the teller what was going on. She said--"fluctuations." He stood there a second and angrily replied--" Oh yeah? Well fluck you white people too!!
A man has his nose bandaged and is laboring to breathe. His friend says--" what's wrong--sinus trouble?" Man replies-"no.seenus trouble." Friend asks-'what do ya' mean seenus trouble?" I was having sex with my bosses wife and he seenus!"
