Hurtling toward financial ruin

So I have roughly $8000 worth of debt to my name right now- 2 student loans, a car payment and a credit card bill that I racked up getting out of a bad situation. Monthly payment for all of that is $310 just making minimum payments. Rent is $650. Gas around $160. Food around $240. Electric and internet is $100. I make right around $1600 per month. A little while ago, I got in a car accident and my insurance went up. Now it's time to renew and they want $522 for the next 6 months or $105/mo. I can't afford another $100/mo payment, but I do not have $500 to pull out of my ass.

I also have to have a spring replaced on this car I bought and get it an oil change before it explodes. The oil cap is seized up and I can't get it off to add more oil until I can afford to get it fixed. In short, I am totally boned. and those are just my practical problems. And no one is picking up their goddamn phone. After all of these years of being a shoulder to cry on for everyone in a 50 miles radius, when my world is falling apart, everyone except my clingy ex is refusing to acknowledge my existence.

I'm probably going to have to call my mom and beg her for help. I'm not looking forward to it. I was supposed to travel to see her for my birthday on the 26th next month, but the insurance payment is due on the 30th. There's no way I can afford the trip now and she's going to be pissed. And then on top of that, I'm going to be like "so how about you give me $250 for my birthday so I can NOT come see you?"

I just feel like such a failure. My only extraneous payment is $40/mo for internet, which is literally a drop in the bucket, and without it my life would completely and entirely suck because I have literally nothing else to do in my tiny apartment. How are other people doing this but I can't? I don't understand how everyone in my office can afford these shiny cars and to get their hair and nails done and fancy designer clothes and sunglasses and vacations and wtf??? Where are they getting all of this money??? They must have student loans bc you can't get into this job without a bachelor's degree. So what am I doing wrong???

 

They are probably 30 to 50 thousand dollars in debt.

 

I agree with Spectacles. I see it happen all of the time.

Firefly, you need to get some oil in your car before anything. Use a rag and both hands to get the cap off, if that doesn't work, see if a neighbor can do it. My neighbor 2 doors down is a small lady, she spent half a day trying to get her oil cap off and my next door neighbor told me it just popped off for him with no problem.

As for the student loans, inquire about consolidating them to get a lower payment. You might be able to call the credit card company and work something out with them.

Don't feel bad about asking your mom for help. That's what us parents are for.

 

If you live on rice, beans, and frozen vegetables you can eat very cheaply. It won't make a huge dent but it will allow you to get an oil change and pay your insurance at least.

I dont know your familial situation but it would be pretty mean of your mom to get mad about being too broke to visit. Hopefully she will be understanding.

 

I understand that, but somehow, they are managing their payments and still affording all their creature comforts. Meanwhile I'm about to go on food stamps because I don't want to live on ramen and die of scurvy.

I'm working on managing my food budget more effectively. I have this bad habit of stockpiling food like nuclear winter is coming. Mostly out of anxiety that I need to get it while I have the money to do so because I have some really skinny weeks... But it has also generated a lot of waste and stuff sitting in my cupboards and I've already taken steps to stop it. It was mostly due to an unhealthy situation with a past relationship. I have spent a lot less since he's gone...

And my mom... is complicated. She would give you the shirt off her back, but she expects a certain amount of adoration and concentrated attention in return. That's just how she wants to be loved, I guess. It's clear she's not happy in her relationship with my stepdad as I exhibited a lot of her same traits when I was unhappy with my last guy that had never surfaced before with past boyfriends where I didn't feel so trapped and unfulfilled... It makes me feel bad for her, but at the same time, her neediness has been suffocating me since I was a small child. We currently live 500 miles apart, and I feel like that is just right. I am a person who needs her space. It doesn't mean I don't love her, but... she's somewhat mentally unhealthy.

Got a few manfriends that can help me there. I'll see what they can do. I know it's important. The engine in this car is almost new and I don't want to blow it up over something so stupid. I just need a damn day off or a day when I don't get home at 9 when everyone else has gone to bed to ask someone. Not working Saturdays anymore would be cool too. -_-

I've already applied for help with the student loans. I'm waiting to hear back right now. Not sure how much they will be able to help me, but it would be cool to get away from Sallie Mae.

And she is usually begging me to let her send me money, but I know it's tight for her too... I've figured it out so that I can drain my savings and only have to ask her for $250 in order to pay off the insurance and not have a monthly payment adding to my issues. Then I can tighten the belt and start over.

 

A lot of people keep borrowing more and more to pay off other things. They take out equity loans on property, or even refinance and consolidate other loans into their mortgage. Some get credit cards with higher limits to pay off several credit cards. And some have their parents pay most of their bills.

They aren't solving their problems, they are just making them worse while keeping their heads above water. It sounds like you are trying to solve your problems.

I know this might not be what you want to hear, but maybe you could find a part time job to work temporarily to help.

 

I've been thinking about it, but I'm so tired all the time as it is. I work 10hr days so I can have an extra day off to do all the things I need to do, but they run late into the evening sometimes, so working a second shift is out. I feel like a lot of the time, I spend the next day off recuperating and trying to catch up on housework and going to the bank and things I am generally not able to do during those long hours. I pull overtime shifts constantly to afford things I want to do, like having my family up to visit and occasionally buy a dress or a shirt to update my shabby wardrobe that I have been nursing and repairing since college. Granted I do have three days off a week, but I find too many overtime shifts in a row drives me pretty crazy and makes me really resent my work... Like to a desperate level. I can't imagine what it would be like with another job. I would rather cut my food bill in half than work every single day of the week. I need time to breathe. I know myself. I will crack if I do that.

And I really do want to solve my problems. If I had had a choice, I would not have taken those loans out for college. I always was determined to not go into debt, ever. It was extremely hard to justify even the $6000 I took out for school (only 2 loans- $3000 apiece). It was always my dream just to get my paycheck and have it be mine and that if I could do that, I could make anything work. But life has had other plans for me. A bachelor's doesn't get you as far as it did when they told me to get one...

 

All in all, that's not that bad. Make a few changes and you'll be able to pay all of that off in not too long.

Live with roommates. This can work out great, you just have to make sure that you don't get psycho/ass-pain roommates.

One thing to do is to rent out an apartment yourself, then sublet bedrooms. If you rent out bedrooms to your roommates on a tenant-at-will agreement, you can throw their asses out easily if they suck.

The down side is that if they decide to move out, you're still holding the lease.

You can also just all be on one lease, if you prefer.

If you can get a one bedroom for $650 in your area, my guess is that you could get a three bedroom for $1200 easily. This means you would pay only $400 for rent = extra $250 per month for you.

If you go this route, I would recommend living with graduate students, if they are available in your area. They usually have their shit together and are able to pay rent every month.

You can also save on utilities/internet with roommates, as long as no one is a utilities hog.

You can save a lot on that just by not buying processed food.
Potatoes, rolled oats, rice, bags of frozen peas, corn, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, green beans - all cheap and good for you. Dried lentils and black beans that you soak and then cook in a pressure cooker - super cheap and good for you.

You could still have some money left over to get other food items and still save $80-$100 a month on your food bill.

Careful comparison shopping can help too. Store brands are often cheaper. Pricing per unit is available in many (all?) states, and taking careful note of it can save you money.

Do you really need your car? Can you get public transpo to work and around town? Could you share a car with a roommate? Getting rid of your car could save you a lot of money.

It's too late to undo your original car purchase, but in the future, if you want to save money, always buy reliable make/model used cars direct from owner and get it checked by a mechanic before you buy, and buy it all in cash. You can save a ton of money that way.

There's always more people willing to take help than to give it. Never expect gratitude, and you'll never be disappointed.

Try to find out what other people are getting paid for the same work. Employers generally try to get away with paying as little as they can get away with. If someone else is getting more for the same work, demand a raise. If another employer is offering better pay for equal or better conditions, jump ship.

The cc bill probably has a much higher interest rate. Pay that off as soon as you can, and don't add on any more debt.

Play your cards right, and the debt will go away pretty quickly. Then all those monthly debt payments can be money in your pocket.

 

You should move to NYC. Ya my rent is more than twice yours but there is so much to do for free. Since moving here, I've saved $800-$1000 per month in auto expenses each month (factor bmw payment, gas, insurance, maintenance/cleaning). I spend $113 for unlimited transportation by train and I walk.

I'm in the best shape and health than I have ever been since walking to and from work every day.

And I agree with the above poster about processed food. Not only are they bad for you, they're more expensive, less nutritious, and leave you hungry sooner. You should learn how to cook from scratch. Buying ingredients and making things yourself is sooooooo much healthy, cheaper and rewarding - usually more tasty too.

You need to budget everything out on a schedule. I pay all my bills the second I get them and they're all due by the end of the month. Living alone and budgeting can take time to get used to. I see you're 26, I'm 29. Only a few years, but the learning experience can make a difference. Keep going, it will work itself out.

 

I am in love with Maine. I can't imagine going anywhere else. And as awesome as NYC was when I visited it, I have a panic disorder. I would probably develop agoraphobia living in a city that size.

The only processed food that comes into my house is the occasional veggie sausage. And now and then a $2 box of ice cream sandwiches because I live on the top floor and it's hotter than hell in the summer... The rest I do make from scratch, but sometimes it gets tiring and I will grab a bowl of cereal. I try to make meals that will make leftovers, though. I eat things 2 and 3 times until I'm sick of it. I'm going to revamp my recipes to include cheaper stuff, though. I have kind of expensive tastes sometimes unfortunately, but food is really the only thing that applies to.

I am an extreme budgeter, lol. It's almost a compulsion, because I know I'm living on the edge, so I am constantly triaging where it's going next. I probably have at least 3 lists of my finances floating around my purse and the rest of the house at this moment, because I make one wherever I am when the need strikes me. I have a pretty good handle of where it's going, which is why I've tightened up on things like food costs and going out to eat and movies.

 

Start up costs. I'd have to put an ad in somewhere and have them put the money down with me.

I've cut this down but not because I feel it's not useful info, but because I grew up living with a single mom who often went without dinner so I could have it. She taught me all these tricks well. I never worry about having enough to eat. I'll always have something.

You can have my Subaru keys when you pry them from my cold, dead fingers.
This is my adventure car. And a symbol of my freedom. It's mine, ya hear? Mine!! And it was a really good deal for what it was. It's a 2003 and has a lot of miles, but had the transmission and engine replaced in it right before I bought it, so those are almost like new. It's a very small and not safety-threatening repair at all that it needs, but everything hurts right now... And adding on that it needs an oil change isn't helping.

Gratitude is not really what I want. Just realizing who is there for me and who really isn't and that can sting when you get to the truth of it. I'll get over it.

Just applied for a better paying job within the company. It's a lab job and not grunt-work like I've been doing for them for a year and a half. That's what I went to school for, so hopefully that pans out. They pay their lab techs much better than their customer support reps, so fingers crossed.

I can't wait for that day. I know it will happen, and I know I have to be patient, but I'm turning 27 next month. Everyone else my age around here is getting married and starting families. I'm not saying I want that by any means, but I just feel like I have fallen so behind... I want to start living. I feel like there is a certain amount of this crap you have to go through when you're getting started, but... it just seems like I have been in this phase so long. I'm getting tired.

 

I don't know about the US but in Canada you make payments on your student loans and if you are tight due to loss of jobs or what ever you can deal with them. Here they will let you have a three month or 6 month at a time hold. If I remember right it means you contacted them so they put it on hold without hassles for an agreed amount of time.
I never did that, just what I saw a friend do when he was tight. He did a 6 month hold and six months later they sent a bill again and he was still tight so they allowed another 6 months if I remember it right anyway.
This option if allowed for you might be better then consolidating it and having to pay still while you are this tight. Pay off stuff holding high interest.
But ya,,, 8 grand isn't bad as long as you are working and able to pay something. Most companies will allow a lesser payment in hopes you won't ditch them and they lose everything.
My brother couldn't pay his visa when his wife dumped him, he owed over 3 grand and had lots of other bills. They finally offered him a final payment of 14 hundred to get their principal back from him and he was clear, he borrowed that from my mom and never did pay her back, hahaha,, win win for him. Ya he can be a schmuck sometimes.
Ask what can be done as far as holds and such and see if you can't get rid of it by paying bits to everyone else. But really 8 grand isn't much at all if you can budget other stuff well enough to get things done gradually in time.
If anyone allows a hold without interest building up then save that money if you can, even ten bucks a month you don't touch. You might be surprised how it can add up later when you have to make that next payment. That way if you really need it you can use it but hopes are you don't.
After all is done, paid off remember to set some of your bank accounts to drop ten bucks or so in savings accounts you don't touch. A good way of finding a back up when you really need it or dropping it into an RRSP at the end of a year if you didn't need it.
I do a weird thing I do that my mom thought me, when you have a stable pay cheque, have your bank drop ten bucks a month into your visa accounts assuming you can try not to use them. There is no interest offered but when I was strapped for bucks I used one I hadn't used in a while and I had a good amount in there, came good when I needed to pay a bill and my statement came back the next month still showing a few bucks credit. It's a saving you forgot you had. I still do it, each card gets ten bucks a month and now and then I will use one to burn the bucks on a bill or something I want.
I hope something here helps, lots of good tips in their thread, eating rice and veggies as said above helps as well, oats are cheap and if you want what meat provides look into Nutritional yeast, it's vegan friendly and gives what meats would offer as well as a whole lot of other stuff, is nice on rice, very nutritious and not all that expensive. Will give you some vitamins and minerals and help you stay healthy. BTW,,, it's really cheesy believe it or not,,, so good on almost anything. Must be nutritional yeast, not bakers or brewers...
Disclaimer,,, I am not a doctor, just offering a nutritional option.

 

probably inherited some dough

or rich husbands...or a working wife

2 incomes makes a huge difference compared to just one

 

My guess would be credit cards.

 

Yeah some people at my office are very well off and its not because they make a lot more than me (although people who have been with the company 10 or 20 years do probably make much more than me) or are better at budgeting, but because they're married to people who make a very good income.

 

There's often people looking for roommates. You could just move in, no start up costs.

Also, putting in an ad on Craigslist is free. You just have to make sure that the people that you room with are good.

Borrowing from you mom for any start up cost might be a good idea, since it's the sort of thing that you would be able to pay back pretty quickly.

Could there be a greater victory for madison avenue?

 

She's not looking for help, she's just looking for a willing listener.

 

Yes, could be they look better off for a number of factors, cheaper rent, well off hubby, money came in from inheritance, better budgeting or saving, no kids, double income, many of these said already but I am going with using credit in many cases. It's said here, it's the Canadian way to be in debt and I am sure Americans are great credit spenders too. You can be sure many who you know owe a lot they wouldn't tell you about.
It all looks good till they lose a job and this is when we find out our friends or family members spent way above their means.
The good thing is you spent for a reason and you are not nearly in as bad a shape as you think. Just seems tight right now. Imagine if your were twenty grand in debt, or a hundred grand in debt right now. I knew many in my adult years who were caught hugely in debt with no work suddenly and they had to declare bankruptcy.
What you have there is maybe a half year to a years worth of payments if you do the high interest ones first and concentrate on all of the rest in bits for each, enough to keep them happy and prevent them putting you in collections. Ask some to let you put a hold on theirs or let the payments come down for a while but don't do like some peeps, and consider any left over money in a month a bonus for you, pay another waiting bill some extra that month or bank it for next month.

 

See, I read this in depth, with concentration.

My observation is- you are on right track.

Awareness is the first step- awareness of the gap- and you have quantified well.

This drives you to action- in proper direction. Here again, I see your direction is right. You are not seeking help and are tying to be strong and finding your own way out.

Now the only thing left is to keep trying, having patience and having persistence.

At your age of 27, we have also gone through this. Now almost at double your age, I can see this as a passing phase.

The only danger you need to guard against is-a little initial success should not get into your head. Once you are debt free and a little comfortable, don't be careless. (This is very common mistake at your age)

Just last suggestion- set yourself a very high goal (It may be a dream now) but I can vouch- dreams come true. They just need time and patience.

 

This is kind of what I say as well, in another way, get past it but don't get a fat head over it once done, try to set up back up savings after this is over and you may never be in this situation again (be it not that bad but worrying you anyway)
This is a right age to be seeing what you are seeing, looks bad to you but you seem to be dealing with it, tis a good thing, many just get deeper in and then they really have a problem later and have to be bailed out.
I went through a crisis similar too and got out of it in what seemed like a slow rate then suddenly I owed lots less and I was almost out, after that. I listened to my mom more who gave me awesome savings tips and prit near pushed me to do things like RRSPs, I think you peeps south call it a 401 or something like that.
My mom is much like yours, loves the attention she can score and would give the shirt off her back and dad's to save our souls but first she must do her bit to convince us to book our future on our own and play right before partying it off.
You will get past this, it's only because of your recent break up I think so you haven't done anything wrong. Nearly everyone sees a time like this sometime in their lives unless they are from a rich generous family. Good luck.