How Would You Like To Be Rejected?

So, I went out with this guy and although he seems like a nice guy, I don't think he's for me. In the past I probably would have just ignored the guy, deleted his number and never looked back, but I'd like to do this the way I'd like it to be done to me.

There was a guy that I was into earlier this year and I feel like he gave me this hint that he was with a friend of his and then never got in touch with me again. I would have preferred that he let me know in some way what was going on or at least that he was no longer interested in me.

I don't like making assumptions, I prefer things to be more clear.

If I was being honest, I'd maybe say, "I'm not attracted to you and it felt awkward and there was no chemistry," but that sounds harsh and probably tmi.

 

Completely and wholly.

 

It's best to be truthful and final.

 

I always prefer the truth when I'm on the receiving end, no matter how blunt.

yet I am the worst about being the dumper. I hate hurting people but sometimes trying to soften the blow somehow ends up being more hurtful in the end.

 

What do you mean by truthful and final? Completely and wholly? Does that mean keep it simple or elaborate?

 

Yeah...I personally like being rejected, but I don't see other people in that way. I think I'm afraid they will get crazy, 'cause I've seen that happen before. I don't like the idea I'll have to say it over and over again.

 

Truthful, and in a way that provides closure.

 

I would say "Hey...I don't think this is going to turn in to what we're both looking for. I think you're a great guy and I had fun but I think you're going to be a great guy for someone else."

And then just stand your ground and don't agree to give it another chance because you'll end up at square one again later.

 

Yeah. I have to be okay with what I'm doing. I feel like i have no right to reject anyone unless they've done something really bad but just ignoring them is really easy...however I hate that because it's just so spineless to me.

By the way, why do men feel the need to lecture me on dates? Why do I attract men with no sense of humor? It's always one of the first things I talk about with guys and yet they either come at me like they're comedians or like they're my father and they've got to "tame" me. Where is the in between?

 

After he's swallowed, not before

 

no one owes you an explanation as to why they find you undateable....all they owe you/society is to not be mean about losing your number

 

This suits me best. I appreciate it to be clear but not really as blunt as possible.
I once had to reject someone that came on too strong and because i didn't really know how to get rid of her in a subtle and polite way i guess i got quite blunt. Didn't mean to be, I was aiming to just be clear but I basically rejected her as a 'stuck up' hot chick who had to deal with another player. It was a bit of an eyeopener in regards of understanding why certain women react like that (not simply because they're stuck up or something)

 

The thing is when you tell someone this is not working....etc...and they keep persisiting, then what?

 

That's when you have to be blunt.

Like this one guy I dated a few years ago - after I broke up with him he wouldn't leave me alone so I finally had to tell him that I saw him watching me from my neighbors drive way and he needed to leave me alone because he was a fucking psycho. Lol. That actually did not do the trick, he still didn't get it.

Once a guy called me out on feeding him a bullshit line (something along the lines of not being ready for a relationship). So I called him out on being a drunk and a bar fly. It was really the best break up I've ever had because he appreciated my honest.

I'm so glad I'm not in the dating game anymore.

 

Ihave been and it has gotten too nasty....i get threats now.....like live each day like it's your last......Watch your back....etc....

 

That's when you get a restraining order

 

Have not even met this person. It is all in emails...
last threat yesterday was that they were going to put all of my private info and passwords all over the net.

 

I finally got so fed up yesterday....I lost it and told them I hated their m'f'inguts and even had Stan write to them to tell them to stop.

 

its something i look forward to. well not really, but after all these years i probably should.

no one can expect everyone to like them or what they do, so, yah.

when its someone you thought you knew, than yah, it hurts. but it still happens.

i just prefer to look a little further away then anything that personal, as much as i can.

because i like to think i live in a larger world then just whoever happens to be standing next to me.

you know the plants growing i the corner somewhere that nobody planted them.

the little creatures scuttling around in and under them.

the little train going by in the distance that i wish there were more of then cars and pavement.

people are important in that i wish they would stop creating conditions that hurt each other,

but i find these other things more interesting, because they can be complex without being hopelessly tangled up and befouled.

if that makes any sense.

there's just more fun things to me then soap operas, or sports or wars,

and imagineering how places could be is one of them.

 

With me...if anyone told me just once it is not working...or they did not like me....I would not have to be told twice. I don't find those things challeneging...i take people at their word.....and never want to go where I am unwanted.