How would a transgender affect your relationship?

Why do so many people find this "creepy" ?

 

in most circles, sex refers to the physical makeup and gender to who they see themselve s as... so their sex would be female their gender would be male, in your descript.... at least, to some people

 

Probably the same reasons so many gay people seem averse to bisexuals.





I don't know what that reason is, but still.

 

^I dont think theres anything wrong with people changing their sex, and liek I said, I wouldnt automatically say goodbye to a boyfriend if I suddenly found out after dating him for years that he used to have a vagina....Im just saying, uh YEAH Id be shocked, and yeah Id wanna talk about it.

Acutally, I cant give a serious answer to this question at all. I mean, theres no way Id know how I felt unless it acutally happened and if I was already attached to the person etc etc.

Actually, I guess my official acnswer to the question of this thread is:
I DONT KNOW!!!!!!

 

So now that you guys find this kind of thing weird, you'll no longer have any problem with homophobes calling you names like fag or calling you unnatural because you're doing it to other people too. Honestly, this is similar to homophobia though not as vicious.

Let me explain it like this:

Homophobe:
"Gay people are weird and unnatural,"

"Why?"

"I dunno, they just are,"

(Some of) you guys

"Transgendered people are weird and unnatural,"

"Why?"

"I don't know, they just are,"

Get what I'm saying?

 

Ah, but that is Different.

Your argument is flawed, good sir.

 

In what way is it different? You are discriminating against something you have not experienced nor understand.

You cannot declare my argument flawed without bringing up a reason as to why it is.

 

dude Andy, stop, I never called them any derogatory names, especilaly nothing equivalent to fag.

and usually homophobes do have distinct reasons for being again gays, what are you talking about? i dont think ive ever met someone whos against gays who hasnt had atleast a reason like"the bible" or something.

as Ive said, I am not against transgendered people! Im just saying I dunno how Id feel if I was to marry a guy and then find out he used to be a girl!!!

 

I know. I'm not directing my argument at you. I'm just saying that, even though I understand that it is someone else's opinion, it is unthoughtful for them to say that someone who is transgendered is unnatural. Of course it isn't common, but that is no reason to fear it.

 

Transgendered people have ALL different sexualities and the decision to come out as trans has NOTHING to do with any sexuality that they may have. Why would someone come out as trans [a group that is even *less* accepted and understood than homosexuality] to avoid the social stigma of being out as gay?

 

I don't think he was talking about social stigma.

 

Ill admit, I dont know/understand much about trans people, and let me repeat: Im not against transgendered people!!! Come on! That would be totally ridiculous for me to claim homosexuality was okay and then say trans people couldnt do their thing! I really have no problem with someone being trans.

I guess I dont really understand why someone changes their sex in the first place. Ive heard before that sometimes its the case that a guy feels that his soul is really that of a womens, so he changes his body to match that. But what makes him feel that his soul is really that of a womens? The fact that he is attracted to other men? Or just that he is feminine?

If it were the first one, then that would mean the man felt he must be a woman in order to be with men, right?

And if it were the second, thatd mean that the man had strict ideas of what feminine and masculine were- meaining he believes a women acts a certain way, and a man acts another, and that in itself is kind of being closeminded, isnt it? Only a women is soft and gentle, only a man is rough and agressive, etc. etc.

With both cases, it would mean that the man wasnt comfortable being who he is and has a desire to change it.

Or is it just the fact that the man just desired to have a vagina, and wanted away with his penis?

Let me say once again, because some peopel dont seemt o understand: Im not against trans! I just dont understand it! Help me understand!

 

People who embrace homosexuals yet criticize the trans gender community I think often do so because they see homosexuals as people who "can't help" the way they are, yet they think having a sex change is more of an active choice. But really it doesn't matter. It's the way they are, and the way they want to be, and it's only moral to accept them for that.

A large percentage of the population, to use the words of Timothy Leary, have not figured out how to fully operate their souls. It's a shame the amount of power our minds have and how little of that power most people use. Imagination and compassion often take a backseat to cold (and often primitive!) logic and dogma.

Also, the fast paced, distraction filled western culture is not always conducive to self enlightenment, and so many people adopt a fearful and small minded outlook towards anything different from themselves out of convenience. They just don't find the time to empathize and understand (and come to the realization that they are to blame for their intolerance, not the victims of their hatred), and it's far easier for them to scrutinize the strange and different from a distance or even outright hate it. Some people would rather change the world before they change how they think.

Homophobia, transgenderphobia, it's all the same issue: fear of the unknown. The more these "alternative" sexualities are portrayed by the media in a positive light, the quicker they will gain acceptance by the mainstream. Hey the media is here to stay, we may as well start using it to instill values that have more to do with the here and now than the old archaic Christian values that have no place here on Earth circa 2007.

To address the question, if I was truly in love with this person and they turned out to be transgender, I don't believe it would matter to me. I hope it wouldn't.

 

^Well said.

 

Yes, and this is something I've ended up discussing with my friends when it's come up. It's like, yes, homosexuality isn't a choice. But so what if it was? What difference would that make?

I can't help but feel that the wrong questions were being answered in that debate, if we've arrived at a line like "Homosexuality is okay because they can't help it". Is it only okay because we can't help it? If a person chose to be gay, would they then not be "okay"? We're still talking in terms of homosexuality being a bad thing here, akin to a disability more than a lifestyle or preference, and to be honest, I don't think it helps.

It bothers me the more I think about it.

 

there are a few people on this thread that seem confused about this issue but are saying they wish to know more, well check out this forum, explore the threads and see if that helps you to gain more of an understanding
http://hipforums.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=435

 

You are so right with that line of thought. Like people who are tolerant of other races but not of gays, they say "blacks can't help being black but gays can stop fucking men". I'm like WTF?? Help being black, as if it were wrong or less moral than being white or something??

Whether anyone can help it or not is completely moot. No one should have to defend their lifestyle if it isn't causing anyone harm or infringing on another's rights. This isn't just to be nice or polite or anything, but that it's stupid and narrow minded to bitch about things that aren't hurting you yet mean the world to someone else.

Gays and transgender people bother you? Grow up. That's what I'd like to tell them. Go mature a bit and then join our society when you're ready.

Sorry but I'm pretty intolerant towards intolerance. Yes, I do judge homophobes and racists! They're the only ones whose "lifestyle" pisses me off.

Oh and any religion that supports or even just condones the abuse of anyone should be erradicated ASAP. That's my view on organized religion and the "moral right to criticize homosexuality" or whatever that bullshit quote I read stated.

 

Most F to M trans people don't get the surgery because it really isn't that effective. If you were to look at the re-sculpted genitalia you would be able to tell it's not a "normal" penis.

I'm not arguing that the genitalia one is born with is an indication of one's gender. However, as I've already stated, sex is very important in a relationship. If the person is lacking what I'm attracted to, it probably wouldn't work out.

 

I asked this already but I'll ask again, if your lover damaged his genitals or had to have them removed how would you cope?
S

 

If I was in love with the person before said accident, then it wouldn't matter.

I can't really say since I've never been in the situation and don't anticipate to be either. However, it would definitely put a strain on the relationship though.