How to you treat yourself?

I push myself very hard with things like career progression, making money and all that.

So I'm hard on myself and push myself hard but I like to reward myself too, so I'll go get some good food and drink, a massage, something nice that I don't really need. I smoke weed when I want, which hasn't been much at all for the past 6 months or so. I've been smoking more this past week than I have in probably a year. It's just been enjoyable lately and when I'm smoking I drink less.. which can only be positive.

I kind of just do what I have to do to maintain and succeed, then it's anything goes for everything else. I like acting on a whim not planning and scheduling.

 

:toetap05:

'Schizos' are only one person too. I think you mean Dissociative Identity Disorder....

That is just something that bothers me.


I think I go through different phases, but generally - I'm pretty harsh on myself as I let my emotions take control. I have an internal conflict going on all the time, and depending on which aside is wining, I'm either harsh or gentle...

 

Maybe if you let both sides win they cancel each other out?

 

But, that would involve compromise...

 

Achieving things sooner or later in life doesn't say anything about a lack of ability you might have. Just means you go at a different pace. I took the 6 year route in college and time off between semesters a couple times.

 

And what`s the problem with that? make peace

 

Also it depends what your objective is. I mean in England, someone who leaves school at 16 or 18 could be doing ok by 25 yrs. Then I knew top college grads at 25yrs still really struggling because they'd gone to uni. For someone going to grad school in the USA, it can be even worse. Over in England I was reading about this inventor who was dirt poor in his 40s. Then he became a triple billionaire (Sterling). (He made the Dyson vacuum cleaners). I'm sure he could have made a million or so, much earlier. But that wasn't what interested him.

 

Exactly. And in my case, I had no idea what I wanted to do. I have so many interests but none of them are "career worthy" or would earn any type of means to support my lifestyle. I eventually fell into my desired profession though, just by trial and error / interning etc.

 

I think I was "guided" down one path as a kid (law school) even tho my passion was for other things. Then I wound up re-connecting with the paths I had an earlier hankering for- ie business and creativity. Not as straightforward a path as law, but I didn't care. I didn't want to try and kid myself into doing a career I wasn't truly passionate about.

Nowadays, I think more and more, its feasible and even desirable to pursue different interests or even careers in parallel.

 

I treat myself to a big ass burger once a week.

 

well i don't believe you have to become multiple personalities to consider the question. i pretty much try to treat myself as i would anyone else.

this is the one context in which that concept of no self and no other, makes some kind of mostly good sense.

at the same time, i am all the time confronted with the reality that what interests a majority of other people and what interests me, are more often then not, very very different things.

for examply i find mind altering substances and social gathering both, forgive me and no sadness intended, but to me, if find both extremely boring.

where as on the other hand, i find things that are not about people at all, the most interesting, trains, micro-technologies, and the complex inter-relations of the natural environment and the complex geometries they generate, far more fascinating and gratifying.

so you know, when i get bits and pieces to make things with, and when i make things with them, making images of how i'd like things could be, when i dream and live in those kinds of possible universe, that is where i find gratification.

i believe in being as kind and considerate as i am able to understand how to be in whatever context and situation, and that means both myself and others. that this is never a zero sum situation.

so i try to treat myself precisely as i would like to see people treating themselves and each other.

 

Such as?

I think any interest can be career worthy if you are passionate about it and keep at it.

 

I've learned to treat myself really well because I was once, really, really good at treating myself badly...it was just something I learned to do, I learned to treat myself as I'd been treated by others, so I had to take my power back and start saying 'okay' to myself.

I learned to accept my dreams and goals and not think of myself as foolish for having them and I learned to reward and congratulate myself and be compassionate and understanding and stop judging myself by my mistakes. It's still something that I occasionally have to work on. I tend to get depressed about once or twice a year, but I used to be constantly depressed.

I've found that through positive self talk and things of that nature, I completely accept myself and feel much better about myself and the things I do and want to do. Since I've gotten deeper into that level of self-treatment the things I do are more what I want to do, I make a lot less mistakes and I've become much more successful at actually seeing my dreams come into being, so I no longer feel foolish about them at all.

And now, on to treating myself. I do really simple things, like buying new music or a book or taking some time completely to myself, I've been treating myself to a lot of gifts lately because I'm working so damned hard and it's all paying off. A lot of the time I treat myself to business investments though, lol. But that makes me happy. Also image-related stuff. I'm looking for a good hair stylist (haven't had my hair touched by anyone else in years) and a professional photographer.