How to get fired...ABC style

Care for a small muskrat at your work station, creating its natural, biologically diverse habitat, for it to live in right under the cash.

 

Don't go to work

 

Embezzle

 

F - Fix your boss's chair and leave 1 screw out and tell your boss you wont look @ the chair again unless he gives you a raise.. When he look @ it and laughs saying "Its fixed,you dont have to look @ it anymore" and then sits down and falls to the floor due to the missing screw,show him the screw and start laughing like crazy,call him names,etc.....

 

Goat stampede...

 

h- hurl a chair through the boss's window

 

kiss my ass!an stuff your job. that always works.

 

limousine hired for your journeys to and from work, billed to expenses account... (WARNING: this will not get you the sack if you work as a politician)

 

M - Make yourself a sandwich and watch TV instead of going to work.

 

Notice, a loud, that your boss's deodorant isn't working for him or her.

 

O - Open a can of Beef ravioli and dump it all over your boss and tell him your having him for lunch,proceed to get some catchup to spray all over his office,after doing so ask for a raise and 2 weeks vacation

 

photocopy your genitals and leave a scented copy on every desk...

 

Quarantine a 12 ft. square area around your desk but cough, sneeze and fart alot.

 

Ride your car to work. Park it in the boss' office.

 

sell dirty street drugs to the boss' pregnant wife and insist on payment in kind... then tell on her... arf...

 

Tap dance with cleats on the bosses new nova.

 

undo your blouse to expose your hairy cleavage... (ofcourse this plan would very much depend on peeps sexual preference)

 

Voice your concerns about the boss' mental stability. LOUD.

 

wee wee everywhere except the loo...

 

X - Xamine your boss's work and cut him down about how he does it,call his boss and demand he come in and make him do it right -- Take the stuff and destroy it and demand he redo it,jerk off while asking for a raise