How to get fired...ABC style

Rent a porn movie for office movie night

 

S - Start telling everyone about the recording you made of your boss's scheme to defraud the company;call HIS BOSS and tell him..

 

Tell the boss his wife is cheating with so and so, once he kills him, nail his hands to the wall and leave a bomb in his room ready to detonate in one minutes time.



He fails


Wuss

 

U - Undress in your cubicle and come out dancing around IN THE NUDE and tell everyone the boss said "ITS NAKED DAY". Barge into his office while he has a client and is about to get a 300000 funding check and ask him why he isnt joining in on the fun;Wiggle it like crazy @ the client until they leave w/o giving the boss any money

 

V- Vulgar remarks about disabled people

 

W - Walk in late every morning and when your boss complains,swear @ him and say "IM THE BOSS NOW,I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT HERE...SIT DOWN AND WORK IDIOT"

 

X-Xanax in your bosses coffee. lots and lots of xanax

 

yodel badly when the boss has a large bet riding on the certainty that you will win the yodelling employees competition... he/she has placed such a large bet because you strongly infered you were a world class yodeller...

 

Z: Zelda, all day every day.

 

A - Ask your friends to come and yell all day and say how much you hate the company;join in singing you hate your boss @ the top of your lungs!

 

b-burn your name into your bosses chest with a blow torch.

 

crush a bucket or two of ice and put it all in your bosses pants while your boss is still in them... but do it in december when the heating has broken down...

 

D - Drop your garbage all over your boss's office then call HIS BOSSS and tell him how messy he is. WHEN YOUR BOSS COMES TO ANSWER HIS BOSS,START LAUGHING LIKE CRAZY,give him the finger

 

exercise your dog at work and let him do his business anywhere he pleases...

 

F - Forget everything your boss tells you to do while he is on vacation and when he comes back,show him YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING HE ASKED while laughing like a 2yo..

 

go to work drunk

 

hang various mobiles of dead animals from the office ceiling.

 

invite yourself to the bosses place everyday

 

just poop on someone's desk.

 

K - Kick your garbage can over and make sure the trash from it goes everywhere,call your boss and tell him what a slob he is for keeping the place dirty and messy;threaten to call HIS BOSS. When the boss gets there and notices YOUR NAME on a piece of trash you forgot to remove from the floor when you spread it all out,start crying like a 2yo and say your sorry,etc.. WHEN THE BOSS SAYS OK CALL HIM NAMES,act like a 2yo,call his boss and tell him lies,etc