How to discuss wife sharing with the wife

I have for many years fantasised about watching another guy with my wife. We have together for 10 years and married for 6 of those.

I am the only guy she had ever been with and our Sex life has become mundane and vanilla. Although she does have an insatiable appetite for sex.

I have brought up the subject of threesome in the past but she just says no although she has never been revolted by it. I have tried to put threesome porn on but she just wants to turn it off and have sex without even watching it.

I am really keen to make it a reality as I think she will ultimately enjoy it and it will take our Sex life to a whole new level.

We have a very committed relationship and do communicate very well accept matters in the bedroom.

Any suggestions on how I can approach this?

 

Bottom line is that everyone is different. However, with plenty of reassurance and assuring her that its as much about giving her the ultimate pleasure and plenty of open discussion, it will help.
Ask her about all of her most intimate fantasies, you might be pleasantly surprised.
I will say however, that even if its a fantasy of hers, its not for everyone and you could cause problems in your relationship if you push too hard.
Try getting your Mrs to come up with the suggestions. Simply ask whilst being intimate with her if she ever imagines you are someone else or if she has thought about it any more. If she says yes, ask her who with.
Bottom line, communicate and never push too hard. If you sew the seeds of thought, the imagination and confidence in her might grow!!!

 

I'm afraid she's given you enough signs she's really not into the idea.

If you think you still should insist on it, just talk to her. Choose a moment you're both relaxed and tell her about your fantasy. Ask her if she'd be willing to try it at least once.

Perhaps she doesn't want it, because she fears the next step is for you to ask to have sex with another woman. If that's not the case, make it clear to her.

 

most people would be thrilled beyond measure to be with someone who does what she does. But you are so sure you know what is best you may end up pushing so hard you lose what you have?

get a clue, no means no, she was not equivocal

 

Thanks everyone for your replies. I certainly will not be pushing her into doing something she doesn't want to. At this stage it's something we haven't discussed well enough and that's why it keeps playing on my mind. And in the past she has mentioned that she will probably have an affair before I do. Even though said jokingly there was a bit of truth in it.

I will talk to her more about it over the coming months and let you know how I go.

I am very loyal to her and she knows that.

 

It took years for me to finally make her take the jump and do a threesome. Having a profile in an adult website and letting her chat with other guys helped a lot. Watching movies, not exactly porn movies since she´s not very much into that just like yours, but mainstream movies where they mention threesomes even in a funny way also helped her loosen her fears a little. Sometimes even the magazines she buys like Cosmopolitan have articles about threesomes.

The thing is you have to be very gentle and delicate and tell her that it is your fantasy to watch her with other men and that that is not a mental problem or anything morally wrong and that there are tens of thousands of people, maybe even close friends of you, that are into it. Show them sites like this one, book a trip to a sexy resort like Temptation in Cancun, talk about each other fantasies.

I wish it was always easy and even for us that we have had a few threesomes, they are far apart and she even gets angry when I bring up if she would like to have another one, but then there are days that she is horny enough and she teases me for another one so go figure.

 

Interesting you mention that. There are times when she open to talk about threesomes and sometimes she just shuts it down straight away. Maybe there is a level of guilt....

 

I guess so for some people but there are other women who are very open and straight forward about it as I could experience first hand on our last trip to Desire Resort and Spa. Most of the beautiful ladies where completely open about anything sexual, but of course there where a few shy ones like my wife who sometimes felt that they did not belong there, keyword being "sometimes" because some other times she was extremely open and even played with a few guys and let me play with some girls there (not full intercourse but very close, hope it gets better next october when we visit the resort again).

So I guess that if the mood is right and she feels comfortable with the people around her anything can happen, maybe it´s the same situation with your wife.

 

I agree wholeheartedly with you. Best of luck. I truly hope you and your wife embark on the lovely fantasy together and make it a regular experience.

 

se7en sins,

Talk with her don't pressure her. For us my wife had never been with another man. She knew I had been with several other women before her. So she thought it fair for her. After we started living together, she said she would like to be with another man. Just to try it out. Most of this came from her nights out with the girls. After a few drinks they got to telling stories, about their extra sexual encounters. Some of these by married women. Even with a couple of chances, which she turned down. We were 2 years, before she went to bed with another guy. She liked him, but tried of couple of others later that turned her off totally. So if the time comes, you need to have a quality lover for her. I don't think my girl would have ever done it again, if her first time had been bad for her. Good luck.

 

Thank jimandjan. Yeah I haven't brought the subject up with her again. I will let it happen a bit more naturally and choose the right timing for it. I suppose it's a bit like life - journey not a destination!

 

If you two do not have enough trust with each other to openly communiciate your fantasies to each other without judgement then you probably are not going to have any success in making them happen. A person can not be tricked or pushed into doing something with good results.

 

Ehancer

It's not about trust and we have spoken about this a number of times not sure if I have mentioned that already.

Anyway, I don't want to keep bringing up the fantasy to pressure her too much. At the moment we are just talking about spicing things up in the bedroom in general.

 

Well you are asking how to talk to her about wife sharing and have said you communiciate well except on matters about sex.

The only ones who can make that part of the communication better is you two. IMO the communication is not all that good if you can not openly talk about the sex matters. It is a pretty damn importent part of a relationship after all.

 

I suppose you are right there. The fault is mine. The title is misleading and I haven't articulated myself better. We do talk but I have been getting a feeling my approach has been all wrong. After some of the responses here I have changed my tact and it seems to be working.

Cheers

 

If you feel that she is truly interested in fucking with another man, talk to her and assure her that you would not be jealous, and that you would only love her more if you were to watch another man giving her sexual pleasure. The one thing which keeps most wives from fucking with other men is that they are afraid it would effect their husbands badly. Once they come to realize that their husbands would benefit from it, they are usually ready to give fucks to another man. Been there - Done that!

 

Well long story short i have a pretty big fantasy of either sharing/watching my wife with another guy... It hasn't been too long since i told her about it and she's been a pretty good sport about it! She doesn’t think she will ever fullfil the fantasy in person, but she’s been roleplaying about it with me and talking about it alot. We’ve also been talking about finding a guy on a chat room and chat with him over yahoo or something while we are playing around. Maybe sending some dirty pictures of her as well. I’m acutally texting her about it right now lol.

Anyways i just want to get some opinions. Or maybe find some men who would be interested in a few chats?

Well long story short I have a pretty big fantasy of either sharing/watching my wife with another guy... It hasn't been too long since I told her about it, and she's been a pretty good sport about it! When I told her she was REALLY understanding and just made me feel really comfortable about talking about it. She asked me questions why it turns me on and just got a general idea on how I think about the subject.

She doesn’t think she will ever full-fill the fantasy in person/real life, but she’s been roleplaying about it with me and talking about it alot. We’ve also been recently talking about finding a guy on a chat room and chat with him over yahoo or something while we are playing around or having sex. Maybe sending some dirty pictures of her as well. I’m actually texting her about it right now lol.

Anyways! I just want to get some opinions or ideas on this. Or maybe find some men who would be interested in a few chats?