How to deal with someone who is in denial about being gay?

hi. i am a lipstick lesbian. There is this girl who i have been hooking up with for quite some time now ( and she made all of the moves) and she has refused to say she is anything but straight ( which is fine by me if she isnt comfortable admitting it)...but on occasion would say " ur right we are all just human"... "Woo LGBT".... "IM CONFUSED/// but no im so straight....but IM CONFUSED BC ive never done what we do with another girl before...!" etc. She gets openly jealous when other people hit on me, etc and it is so clear there are feeelings there on both of our ends..... however recently she has been distant and avoiding me and using tons of defense mechanisms and projecting her gay thoughts onto other ppl calling them gay ( when they arent).... and tried telling me that she knows i have sooo many feelings for her ( even when i told her no ). somedays she'll be all over me, etc..... ( and she has made all the moves on me). She has been distant and "seeking the Lord"... well now things have really exploded bc she is freaking out and being distant kinda refusing to hang out with me. it seems she is heavily conflicted. but yah she said like " I KNOW YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR ME I AM NOT AN UNDERCOVER LESBIAN I AM SO CONFIDENT WITH WHO I AM ETC ETC" trying to blame me for everything that has happened ( when she made all the moves for the past like 8 months we have been making out hardcore, etc. Lollll soooo..... what is your advice on how to deal with somebody who is in such deep denial and using so many defense mechanisms?? and did you or anyone you know ever act like this?? thanks :love:

 

A Post So Deep, You Have To Post It Twice....



Cheers Glen.

 

She could be putting on an act. I know a couple of girls, who would go out to the bars. One was very well endowed in the breast department. She would always flash her tits to get the guys to buy them drinks. Then they would put on the lesbian act, so guys wouldn't hit on then.
Doesn't sound like your case.

 

The problem may lie in christian upbringing. My sis had to deal with guilt for years over being bi because of it. I finally asked her one day how she could believe in a god that condemned her for what science has proven is not really a choice but a genetic predisposition.

Maybe your confused friend needs to be pointed to a form of faith that welcomes her as is, flaws and all, so she can learn that she is not as flawed as she may feel right now.

 

"...who is in such deep denial"

Okay. Are you sure she is gay? Because I had a guy that kept telling me 'oh you are so straight don't tell me you're gay because you are not' and it made me so freaking mad and I started to distance myself from him because it became a toxic friendship. Don't be an asshole if she really isn't gay. Just saying. Don't be an asshole. You know her better than me though. Just thought I'd point this out.

Also, girls hooking up with other girls is very common in the straight world. Doesn't have to mean anything at all. I'd give her space and let her figure it out herself. If there is something to figure out.