How to Cope with this Fact?

Sexism will last as long as men and women don't wise up and stand together against it in all it's forms.....

 

I want to add in response to cherea, sticks and stones will break your bones indeed and most women live in fear of being killed, raped, or assaulted in some way. Its not just about being called a bitch.

 

Cheers to that
There are some great irl men and male bloggers out there that give me much hope. And I'm seeing a lot more about men finally speaking out about things like the 'real man' syndrome.

I'm very glad to be seeing that men are learning to talk about male rape effectively. Instead of just copting a woman's thread about rape and just going 'but we get raped to', they are now talking about and dealing and healing as thier own issue.

We are getting there. We just need to keep the dialogue going until we arrive.

 

If a common coping mechanism that many therapists use for many different issues, that of not dwelling on it, is being taken as my saying "get over it" then I'm going to call "reverse sexism" and say this is not a mental health thread and should be moved to the Feminism forum.


Thanks for letting me know I'm just some "sexist guy" I never knew that because I've never acted that way.... and now who's going to clue in all those therapists that have been taught incorrect coping skills.


Somebody needs to re-read my first post without prior ideals that since I'm a man, I'm sexist.


To the OP, I hope you find peace


I'm out.

 

I've worked security at some of the biggest festivals n the west coast in the past fifty or so years and always partnered with a woman when possible. Some of the most alert and capable I've had. :2thumbsup:

 

It is a valid coping for many things. IMO, not this one.

I tried your tried and true strategy and really, it just made things worse for myself.
That's why people get individual counseling. Different people and issues require different strategies.

I don't recall saying you're sexist but I will say that there are some things you will never experience and therefor you might not be fully equipped to give the big solution. It's like having a straight-edger telling you how not to be an alcoholic without ever having been there.

Get your nose out of joint if you want. Keep thumbing me down if you want.
Sticks and stones can break my bones but fuck don't call me sexist or I'll go cry.

 

I think this probably should be in the feminist section, I guess the op posted it here because she feels as if she's going through it alone but it is an issue every woman can relate to, hence why the female replies basically say talk about it and don't take any shit and the male replies say to not worry about it. I don't think you or anyone else here with the same reply as you is sexist, you just don't fully understand what its like to be a female and live with pervasive sexism.

It should be talked about because i feel like its something that has been ignored for a really long time.

 

Best way to tolerate it is to bow down and accept it for what it is. Which truly is the wrong thing to do. You take a stand for a reason. Sexism is not acceptable. It is not right.

At the same time I recognize my own sexism. It's my sense of humor. And like me, there are many other men that have this humor for likely the same reason- we've been hurt, we've been burned, some of us have been abused outright by...women. And so we strike back with our humor that is fostered by experience.

So no, it's not right. And many of us recognize that, though in private. I hate to say this, but it's true- it is what it is.

Next time, stand up and say something. Speak from your heart. And if they give you crap, punch their lights out.

 

I'm not interested in fitting in or being part of a clique but you're right that I don't like to make waves because I don't like to see the situation escalating.

I read Greta Christina's blog, Susie Bright's blog, and Francois Tremblay's blog.

 

Thanks gang. I guess this is a legitimate issue. Melial and Manservant, it's good to know that someone else feels so strongly about the issue.

I like what you had to say Cherea. Are you an MRA? I know that shifting my perspective to see all the reverse racism helped me to not feel oppressed as a black person.

I like the idea of speaking up. It's very intimidating as I'm a very easy going person who doesn't like to make waves. It's such a tiny contribution though. Is that all I can do?

 

I don't own up to the label. But it's one of my influences. As well as sex positive feminism. But I feel more kinship with the conservative label than anything else. As long as it's properly understood. I am no Republican.

 

How are you conservative?

 

While I get your meaning about sexism being more acceptable than racism .... are you sure the comedian was being straightforward when saying that or was he just making a point through (brutal) sarcasm?
And what does the the reaction of the female audience say about that?

 

I don't know how I missed this thread the first time around.

Yes, I have seen sexism happen to other females and myself---sometimes in small ways and sometimes in scary, horrible ways.---- let's just say when a person is drugged and raped and doesn't know what happened.... well, it sure can be interesting to see how the male cops can treat that female... kinda like the female is the one on trial because it must have been something they did...)

It's also very interesting to me how it's okay for guys to use certain words when they wouldn't dream of calling a black person other words. It's like some guys don't realize what all women have had to endure.

Anyways, glad I found this thread.

 

Yeah I hate those words. I broke up with someone for calling me a **** once . We had endured a lot in our relationship and he was a pretty big dick all around and I still stuck it out with him and tried to make it work, moved in with him even though I shouldn't have. 3 months into living together he called me a **** because I asked him to pick up a towel off the floor. I moved out a week later. I really can't stand that word.

 

I think guys (some guys, and even then usually not that often) use it because they know most women aren't too offended by the word bitch anymore and know it gets to a lot of women. That is specifically why I hate that word... because I know the intent it's used in is to try to say something really mean and nasty and shocking. Sure words are just words but I don't like the intent behind it w pretty much every time I've heard a guy say it.

 

**** is a weird one for me, possibly because I watch so much British television. That word has a different power in North America than it does elsewhere.

I get torn when it comes to Drag. I love drag. It's so fun. It's also sexist as hell; Kings and Queens a like. It's like these people think to portray the opposite sex you have to embrace every negative stereotype of that gender.

When Queens call each other bitches and whores and when Kings think being a man is just about slapping asses...it's a bit of a problem. But then since it's all done under the umbrella of fun and entertainment, nobody sees it as sexism.

I dunno. Like I said, the scene gives me mixed emotions.

 

Hillary has a good shot at being Pres, I'm a big fan. Back when the Lewinsky thing happened did you see her get on Oprah and whine, oh I'm so betrayed, I'm such a victim yada yada. No, just soldiered on, went on to be SOS and years later is in that shot with Obama as they are watching Bin Laden get his head shot - Booyah.

Palin on the other hand just simply was a dumbass.

Look at all the worlds most powerful women, what do they all have in common? They dont whine

 

Mostly because they can't. In a lot of ways female leaders get masculinized just to survive being a female public figure and the second that man-mask drops below is acceptable, the media and the haters are there ready to judge her as woman.

There are plenty of whinging men in politics but they're men, so they're called out on the content of what they say and not thier gender. Women politicians do not have this priviage.


Christ, Hillary has a grandchild and the media makes it out to be a strategic plot.
That doesn't happen to men.

 

I know! They were all like "Hmm, I wonder about the timing of this...was it timed to be before the election?!" Seriously? It's not even right before the election and a male would NEVER be asked or suspected of something like that. Insanity.




Oh and about your comment earlier about the word **** and English comedies... I agree actually. I wasn't even thinking of that earlier. That's one context where it doesn't bother me so I actually think it's just what the intent is behind it when people say that word.