So my best friend and I decided to 'go in a relationship' about 3 weeks ago after being best friends for a little over a year. I was extremely reluctant to go into a relationship as I have depression etc so I knew that a guy would not be able to cope and I did not want to have my heart broken yet again. But anyway he seemed to be able to put up with my nonsense quite well and convinced me that he will never walk away and he feels that the future will be extremely rocky but he believes it will be worth it. So anyway I started to let him in more and we'd kiss and hold hands and cuddle and do some sexual stuff (not sex as I want to wait until I'm married which he respected and it's easier for him because he's a virgin) And we fell more and more inlove.....but then I became quite sick and needed to go to hospital and that was horrible, he would visit me but it was only 4 times in the whole 4 weeks I was there (he lived 10 min away) The 2nd time he came over he said something that hurt me "I think that this has been a wake up call and maybe what I felt for you was just extreme infatuation but I'm not sure" (this was before we dated) Anyway I felt so lost and lonely that I decided to ask him to be my boyfriend and he said 'ok' but it didn't last long and he has realised I am too difficult for him. He still wants to be best friend but it just won't feel the same anymore...we will hang out and go shopping without holding hands or having passionate hugs etc. How can I cope until I get over this? Is there any cool meditation thing I can do??
Things in life take time. Mainly major things like broken hearts. By time you will be able to forgive and move on. How long it will take depends on how well you can cope with it. I have had a relationship with a girl that used to be my best friend, and after we broke up things never were the same though I tried my best to make things being the same but I don't think she was trying. I think it does not only depend on you to make things as they used to be. That would need both of you guys!
Yeah I must be extremely affected/heartbroken by it as I have done what I usually do after heartbreak...I remove myself entirely from the situation. One of my friends at work committed suicide and after 3 years working there I left and it's been 10 months and I'm not sure if I will go back. I have unfriended him on FB and won't reply to his messages. its a bit hard but it's really helping.
Hmmm! you need to let go of him. Time they say heals all wounds, time will heal your broken heart. However, you need to get busy doing something positive for yourself. Read books on relationship, learn new skills, etc. Get over him and be ready for a new relationship. Wish you all the best!
After some quiet time without talking to him, yes, the friendship can be there if he's willing. Trying to act like everything is ok as friends right after a breakup tends to go badly.
thank you all for your replies UPDATE: We have gone our separate ways and I couldn't be more happier!!!!!!!!!!! I was heartbroken for a while but I kept telling myself that if he's worth it he will be in it. After 1 week of not speaking because I was mad at him I sent him a courtesy happy birthday text and his usual reply would be "thank you squash!" but he replied with "thanks." That made anger build up and I was so tempted to send a very rude text but instead I blocked him on FB and all other social media and blocked him out of my life. Life is currently going ok, I caught up with one of my EX's a few weeks ago (we dated 2 years ago and he broke up with me but it was not a sour break up, and we remained friends), he told me how he had always still had feeling for me but kept them locked down and now he regrets that he ever broke up with me (he started to get teary and emotional) so I hugged him and....well.......lets just say we became a lot closer that night. haha H e is madly in love with me again and wants me back but I am not ready yet so I'm just living each day as it comes and goes.
The thing to do is let go. There's an even better person in your future, but you won't move any close to him unless you move forward and leave the circle you were stuck in. The update you mention is fine, but it's just treading water until the new current sweeps you forward and you realize what limbo really is.....
Just let him go, why torture yourself by trying to go back to the way things were when you clearly still like him as more than a friend. You need to let go so you can start moving on. Who wants a constant reminder of what was and what could have been.
A broken heart isn't meant to be easy and there's no sure-fire way to get over the hurt that one feels as a result of any split. Everyone is going to deal with it in a different way and as life suggests, that is to be expected. Sometimes, the friend zone immediately after the break up can me the most taxing part and the part that provides the most challenges. I've been there in the past in that friend zone and let me tell you, it takes a toll on you when you have to see them after the break up. Additionally - and this again is my experience and what I've heard from others - relationships with best friends are either long and fruitful - at times, for life - or they fizzle out early and don't work, likely leading to a termination of the friendship and thus very little contact. Overall, based on the update you've provided, you've definitely done the right thing in ceasing all and any contact with him. Doesn't deserve your time if he's going to be like that and frankly, the same would apply for anyone else. The past is just that. The past. It's about wanting to get back onto the train and exploring what it has to offer. Go for it.
