How much of a tolerance of "bad people" do you have?

Like the heading says.
The friends, family and others you associate with, do you tolerate what they might be about?
Or will you completely break off contact if you hear bad/unsavoury things about them?
Or do you decide solely on how they behave towards you and others.

In the past, with work, I have been quite tolerant.
However, in purely social issues, I very quickly break off contact with people who I find to be shifty.

Oh, there's a poll.

 

Apart from real hardened criminals, which I do not go near....I will break things off with people who do not treat me right or fairly....and I shy away from liars....if someone is going to treat anyone badly, they may do it to you, too......I have no problems with anyone in real life, though.

 

I have a really low tolerance for bad people but I also don't run into bad people very often.

A guy I know recently was arrested for hitting his girlfriend. He's my boyfriend's friend and its my boyfriend's decision as to whether they'll remain friends but I certainly won't go around him anymore.

Most people I know are very honest and good.

 

Interesting.

I've found that since my teens, into early 20s, and onward, I've become more and more selective about who I socialise with. Infact nowadays, I'll say "nope don't want ANYTHING to do with that person".

I'll completely blank people who treat others very badly - for instance their spouse, staff or kids or whatever.

With work, things are slightly different. Thats meant that I've come across rather "colourful" characters if you get my meaning. But they've almost always acted much more pleasant than some of the lawyers, nurses and the like I've come across. Nevertheless, I have always had very firm "hard limits" with work associates too.

The random thought for this thread actually came about from something I heard. An ex of mine had 2 brothers who recently got convicted of some very big drug trade, inc heroin. Years ago, I'd instantly deduced from her that they were a pair of bellends, and indicated I wouldn't hesistate to take some shall we say.. robust steps.. should I ever have had any disputes with them.

I suppose it raises a bigger question of whether we should pre-judge people based on what their family are like.

 

I decided many years ago not to tolerate people who are down lots, people with bad attitudes and people who commit crime. All those things bring us down. I don't run into many like this anymore and if I do I move away from them. I give them their space and preserve mine. Mine is a happy place.
There is a lady across the street and down a few houses from me who came in the yard a few times trying to become friends with me. She seemed down a lot and I spotted it quickly so I'd see her coming and run inside or hide in the yard somewhere. One day she made it in the yard before I could get off my chair and she sat down with a cold drink in a travel mug. I could hear the ice and smell the booze. Then I knew what her problem was, always drinking. She came over another time but without a drink but I could smell it on her. I told her I have a business here and she can't come over drunk or drinking, haven't seen her since except when she walks by to go to the store. (Likely the liqueur store) Funny she wanted to be here drunk but not sober and doesn't even try anymore.
I won't hang out with drunks, downer people who haven't seen the sun for it's shining nor those who have to fight life all the time.
I read somewhere years ago that if you get rid of all those people in your life you will be a happier person for it. That's not saying you couldn't see the good in someone and try to help them but if they can't make you feel good being with them then get rid of them.

 

I find I generally go by how the person is with me and treats those around us. Tends to be an indicator of how close I wish to be with them. I have ended friendship (not lightly) when our worlds are too polar and there was an issue that I could/would not allow in my life.

In business, usually there is no choice but to maintain professionalism and coexist. In the case of legality being an issue, then I also have no choice but to action it.

 

In my business I don't find too many that would bother me, if I do I stick it right to business and keep it short and sweet and tell them on our parting "have a wonderful day because I know I will" hopefully that tells them there is a way to get along.

 

To be honest, I think it is difficult to draw lines.
Some of the most reprehensible characters I've ever met have been school teachers, cops etc. Co.caine and sp.eed de.alers, I can't really see what makes them automatically "bad", in some people's eyes. I can think of some who always considered the moral implications of anything they did. And to me certainly, very warm and honourable people.

And some of the very worst criminals I've ever met weren't bank robbers, but actually BANK MANAGERS who'd happily cheat a pensioner out of their life savings.

And Sallysmart, I think you are right in protecting yourself from negative influences. I knew someone, he'd delight in attacking other people's ideas, always sneering at them, insulting. He was brimming with bitterness. Anyone who was happy he'd say "oh he loves himself". It was pathetic. Eventually I cut myself off from him, even tho I'd been friends (of sorts) for 15 yrs. Only wish I'd done it a long time before. Putting his contact details in the bin gave me a really nice feeling.

Nowadays, I look more and more about someone's character. Sometimes, if I feel uncomfortable about their politics and values, I can't even have any respect for them, let alone time.

 

i've never met a bad person. nor a good person.

i've only met people, who do both good and bad things,
often doing both out of nearly complete ignorance.

as for my tolerance, humans generally tend to be boring and i can think of other things i'd rather do with my time.
occasionally i find their company rewarding, or at least entertaining, but this is really more the exception then the rule.

i don't dislike people, i don't wish anyone harm, but really, i have discovered that the source of bordem, is being distracted by them, from thinking my own thoughts and dreaming my own dreams.

gratification comes from creating and exploring, not excitement and ostentation.

if you are a person who can create and explore together with other people, who can think clearly enough in their presence to do so, that is a wonderful thing. for better or worse, it happens that i am not.

 

I like to keep things interesting.

 

Since we're being honest; I have a low tolerance for bad people and I was sickened last week when I read the probation thread. everyone seemed so cavalier and proud of their past exploits

I’m not saying I’m perfect and no one will ever nominate me for sainthood but there are some things we can control and choosing to do what’s right is one of them.

Hotwater

 

I get along with people from every walk of life, for the most part, but I have absolutely zero tolerance for "men" who hurt women and/or children. I also have no tolerance for people who judge others based on ethnicity, nationality, sexual preference, or religion(or lack thereof).

As long as you're not hurting anyone and you treat people with the respect they deserve, then I have no problem with you.

 

I avoid people i dont trust

 

i don't know, i don't think i really have a specific standard or anything.

i can get along with pretty much anybody. i just don't bother with shitty people outside of what is forced upon me. but then, my definition of "shitty people" is probably somewhat fluid too.

 

this is a good plan. trusting anyone too much, no matter how well you think you know them, is not.

i therefor have somewhat of a tendency to avoid humans entirely, to the greatest extent practical.

 

i have no tolerance for the belief that bad people exist. (even completely non-physical ones)
i do, however, understand the need to prevent people from harming others,
when they seem neither willing nor capable of preventing themselves from doing to.

 

Well, that and you got older, grumpier and more boring

 

"Now you look here, you young whippersnapper..!!"



actually, I used to be intolerant of obnoxious people, then tolerant, now I just don't bother with em. All from 18 yr, then changed through 20s, then changed back at around 30/just before.

BTW, old people... they can be a pain up the arse. Maybe they're miserable because they are surrounded by other old people. hehe

 

I just have a low tolerance of people in general.

 

^^^^Pretty much exactly this.

And I don't judge anyone because of a past crime or get drugs they do or did or drinking or whatever.... HOWEVER, that does not mean that I allow people over here around my kid(soon kids) who are doing things that are no longer in my life. Example, we have two friends (another couple) who we used to always do certain substances with that are no longer in are life... I still will talk to them and think they are GOOD PEOPLE. They don't hurt anyone and are nice to kids and animals and all the things that are truly important to me. However, they called the house a couple days ago saying they are being kicked out of the place they are staying and need a place to stay for a "night or two" (ha, sure.) and I had to tell them no. Because I Know they are still doing the things they used to do... so anyways, my point is, I don't judge them or dislike them but I do know how to set limits with people and I do know what I cannot and should not be around or subject my family to and it's not hard for me to draw those lines.

But I don't have any hard and fast rule about who or what is a "bad person"... I judge people on how they treat me and other people and the things that tns said. (Like obviously someone could be the most polite person in the world but if they have ever abused a child or something....uh uh, sorry. You suck.)