How long should I feel guilty?

this scenario is like the exact same thing my older cousin used to do to me and a few other cousins of mine :/ you should apologize to them!

 

you either not give a fuck and are evil in life or you give a fuck and once you do something bad you feel guilty. so since you have a heart you obviously feel bad for what you did. but since you choose to be a good person now and make good choices you feel disgusted by the past decisions you have made. all you can do is accept that you made bad choices and make good choices for the rest of your life. it is what it is and there is nothing you can do to change what has happened

you will always feel guilty and bad till you die. guilt haunt people forever. but the longer you make good choices and stand by what is right the more it will go into the back of your mind. but it will never leave.

you either care or you don't care. you obviously care which is a good thing meaning you are sorry for what you did and that you are asking for forgiveness.

but if you think guilt will go away then I ask you this. could you stand in front of a crowd of people in real life and describe what you did????? actually could you go on tv and tell the world with your face shown that you did this? there is your answer haha

 

ok so i am going to give you some perspective from the victims point of view. i am not going to go in to detail but i was sexualy abused when i was 3 years old, i am 26 now and it still affects me, also i had an experience when i was 8 with a man who was 16- 17 i dont remeber exactly.
you are a very sick person, you need help people are saying you need help or you will do this again but you ARE doing this again you are an adult having a relationship with a 15 year old, i think honestly you are useing your mother leaving as an excuse and also you posted this because you want someone to tell you it is ok, well im sorry but it is realy NOT ok. these girls will remember what you did, and just because there was no penitration does not make it any less sick, you view the world for whatever reason in a very dark way, seeing humans as sacks of meat to be manipulated that is exactly what you did to those girls, you cannot make up for what you have done. and if you are infact capable of feeling real guilt you will end the relationship with the 15 year old and try and appologise to the other girls you hurt, then GET HELP i mean real help. if you realy felt bad you would not worry about what happenes to you, you would want to make amends.
and for the person who said it is no big deal and people have done much worse like fucking a dog are you for real, sexualy abusing a child is much worse than that, and that is also very fucked upby the way fucking a animal is sick and twisted and anyone who does that needs seriouse help.but a child is a child, and cannot defend itself. and will retain the memory of what happened. try and put yourself in the childs shoes, then you will know what to do and for how long you should feel guilty.

 

You shouldn't feel guilty.
Everyone makes mistakes.
Some make worse mistakes than others.
But we are all forgiven once we choose to forgive ourselves.
Forgiving yourself doesn't justify what you have done. But being feeling guilty about it doesn't help at all, it only extends any hurt and damage any given act created.
First you must forgive yourself, then you must say sorry to whomever you have hurt, if that is at all possible. Their forgiveness of you will depend on them, but you are free the moment you forgive yourself.

Find a GOOD psychologist. (They can be hard to find, so ask around.)

 

Would you forgive me? maybe you would, you can't see her eyes, Her little head working out the solution. she's somewhere out there between ration and infancy, she still that little girl: a girl who could blame her problems on her deadbeat druggy dad or her battered mom instead now the cracks in the surface all point back to me. And I see the damage grow and warp her, I see the extent and it spreads and spreads.

I don't think she dislike me at all right now, which is worst. She told me (maybe last easter) that she appreciated that I do and have always listen to her (in a way I think few in her life do). which is true I do, because part of me stills likes her, she's the first girl I kissed, it makes no sense but she's the first girl I kissed the first girl I touched we were entangled for about 2 and 1/2 years.

I think of her and back then and it just hurts, or cuts out all feeling; either is unsettling. the fight is not over, the deed is not done, it goes on every once in awhile the flicker to sin. and I'm there to put it out, who knows maybe in time, maybe when I see her reach maturity and find peace. Maybe when all my tastes fade away and I lie with a lover who could know my truth and not spit on my name, maybe who knows I'll give myself the gift of forgiveness.

 

I think most people haven't been sufficiently tested to see the depths of their own evil and depravity, and therefore they think they're basically good people. I certainly thought I was a basically good person, until at the age of 46 I asked God to show me the way to mystical union with the divine. Almost immediately my circumstances changed and I went through years of persecution and awful treatment. Let me tell you, I quickly learned that I wasn't as fucking pure as I'd thought I was. If I'd had supernatural mental powers there would be a trail of rotting, dismembered corpses in my wake by this time...and I don't think I'll ever stop cringing inside when I think of some things I've done to other people - being cruel when it was in my power to be kind.

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." - John 1:8

I love the tragic literary form. In a classical tragedy, the human failings and frailties of the characters - especially the main character - lead inevitably and irrevocably to tragic consequences.

Everyone has a breaking point. Every person, when subjected to sufficient stress and pain, will eventually lash out at someone - their oppressors or even innocent bystanders - or self-destruct. Whoever says they wouldn't simply hasn't had enough experience to know. For some of us, the threshhold for stress and pain is set lower, or the circumstances made more conducive to allow an outlet for expression of our evil. For some of us, our evil is more visible than for others.

Jesus was criticized by the scribes and priests of his time for hanging out with sinners. He turned around and told these high-class folks that they were "whited sepulchres" - clean and shiny on the outside, but filled with filth on the inside, where nobody else could see it.

Sininabin, I think you have a clear picture of the tragedy of your own life and the lives of the girls you molested. I doubt you'll ever be able to feel peace about what you've done...yet I would suggest to you that there is a practical use for the guilt you feel.

As Gandhi once told a man tormented by guilt: "I know a way out of hell."

You can find redemption in serving those whom you've wronged, and in serving others who have been wronged in similar ways.

And as Jesus told the adulterous woman whom he saved from being stoned to death, "Go now, and sin no more."

 

I really need to quote this whole passage here - from the movie Gandhi:

Nahari: I'm going to Hell! I killed a child! I smashed his head against a wall.
Gandhi: Why?
Nahari: Because they killed my son! The Muslims killed my son!
[indicates boy's height]
Gandhi: I know a way out of Hell. Find a child, a child whose mother and father have been killed and raise him as your own.
[indicates same height]
Gandhi: Only be sure that he is a Muslim and that you raise him as one.

 

Sininabin: I'm going to hell, I sustained an relationship with a seven year old girl and fondled another child (8).

Zengizmo: Why?

Sininabin: she cared about me, in her little heart, those little eyes she cared about me in a way no one in my life did. the other incident is without real reason.

Zengizmo I know a way out of hell...


you have the good half of my heart listening, fully attentive.

 

Sininabin you gotta get some professional help quick. You can talk to a therapist without having to be reported if you do not identify your victims. Get a therapist and start talking now before there are more victims, please. If you are involved with a 15 year old, stop. None of these kids can give you the love you want. Only you can give yourself that love. Get help now. If you don't there will be more and more innocent kids harmed and your self hated will continue to grow.

I don't know what state you live in but some states, some doctors will provide chemical castration if you think that might help. Depo Provo and other similar medications will help kill desire while you work on treatment. If nothing else maybe you should consider turning yourself in. Most states have treatment units dedicated to sex offenders and programs that can help you reclaim control of your life. If you voluntarily come forward you stand a much better chance of getting useful treatment. I know that many states keep their Sex Offenders out of general population because they don't want the paperwork hassles of violence in house.

YOU OWE IT TO YOUR VICTIMS TO STOP AND GET HELP. You will ultimately need to play a role in helping them reclaim their lives and since you have caused the pain you have the responsibility of becoming part of the healing process. It is unlikely that you will be allowed direct contact with them but many victims care about their offenders and want to know that they are getting help. It then relieves the kid so they can talk about their own pain.

 

And regarding guilt, guilt and shame are often used interchangeably. You will always be guilty because you did it. In terms of shame there are two kinds. Toxic shame is what you are dealling with now. You feel like a piece of shit for what you have done/are doing. As long as you are stuck in Toxic shame you're going to feel like a piece of shit. That mindset leads you to say "fuck it. I'm already trash so I can't feel any worse by acting like trash". Toxic shame is a killer. The other type of shame is Regenerative shame where in you accept/acknowledge your responsibility and use the power of the shame to drive you into becoming a better person.

If you are willing to listen to all the people who say they want to kill you, cut yer balls off etc you can never gain the strength to start being man enough to begin repairing the damage.

Your guilt is forever. The type of shame you experience will determine whether you continue destroying lives or start repairing them. You cannot help your victims unless you first help yourself.

Stop fucking around and get serious with this!