How important are looks to you?

I'm always amused when I walk past the Abercrombie & Fitch store in the mall near my town and see posters of some shirtless young stud wearing no visible A & F clothing. If the point is to sell the clothes, shouldn't the model be wearing the clothes?

There are plenty of guys under 25 or so who can look great in A & F clothing. There are guys who are older....in some cases, considerably older...who are good looking in a different way. When these guys try for the A & F look, it just seems silly. In fact, it's almost like really bad drag.

 

I'm currently on a uni course that explains pretty much exactly why that isn't the case. A&F clothing more than any other brand I can think of has nothing remarkable about it to market directly. So they create an association between the brand and a desireable lifestyle/body image.

Once you learn to decode media messages so much in the world becomes blatantly ridiculous.

 

i think there is a scale of looks to substance or package to product if they are hard to look at then they need to have some redeeming qualities and if they are hott then don't count on finding much in the pretty package

ooooh that was way cynical sorry folks

 

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A&F clothes look stupid on any age, imho. We're conditioned to see those clothes on young patrician studs. So, when somebody who isn't a young patrician stud tries to look like one it's ugly and what's tragic about it is young patrician studs are unappealing to begin with. So it's all a joke, drag.

My high school French teacher told us that back when she first went to France the women morphed when they got older. As teens they dressed in the hight of fashion, at 40 they switched to kerchiefs and long black skirts with aprons. You get the picture.

Well, I'm sure some folks think I dress pretty outre for my age. I've changed since I was 20, updated. But when I was a kid I dressed like a freak and I ain't puttin on a dirndl just because I'm over 40. Yeah, it does seem strange when a bank manager suddenly decides that there's always been a 'free spirit' trapped inside waiting to get out. That's called a midlife crisis. I freed my spirt when I was a kid, say what you will.

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I turn 49 on tuesday and I dress the way I want which has always been and still is jeans and t-shirt or shorts and a t-shirt and flip flops. I dress to be comfortable and agewise fashon be damned.

I look at the ads in the newspaper at fashon for "men" and they're always wearing slacks and button up shirts or shorts and button up shirts tucked in. WTF, that looks stupid. the "young men" (under 30 ?) are always dressed in comfort, T's and shorts or jeans.

 

They call these people "preppies" in America, right? Or am I miles off? Either way it's the shittiest most boringly uniform look in the world.

The thing I've never understood is why women resist ageing so much. One of the few things I like about women is that, with only a little consideration, they can carry on looking great well into their Sixties. If my future included the possibility of being able to look completely normal in a kaftan the size of a wedding marquee I would embrace it.

 

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Yes they do call them "preppies," but I haven't heard that term in a long time; you must be up on your 1980s teen flicks.

I have to disagree with you about women aging better than men. For centuries the conventional contention has been that men age better than women. Are you just being provocative for the sake of argument like usual? (somebody's got to take you over their knee)

I remember running across a Fashion layout from the 1970s with hot Italian men in their 60s on a tropical beach somewhere, with the wind billowing their white caftans and that was sexy as hell. Wait a minute maybe that was International Male from a couple of years ago. Oh I know, now I remember, it was this dream I had a while back. Never mind.

P.S. what the heck is a wedding marquee and why would you like to wear one, and what British flick did I miss that features them?

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I don't think I ever said anything about conventional contention, I was just offering my opinion. I'm certainly not trying to start an argument.

As for the convention, I think it's more that the onus was more on women than men to stay good looking. No-one was claiming that men stayed attractive, just that it didn't matter so much if they got ugly. It's not something I particularly get.

God knows what film you might have seen them in, but they were popular back in the sixties. A marquee is basically a big sheet on some poles.

 

Right. Like I said before, men tend to be stimulated by visuals, women tend to be stimulated by other things. In the straight world, for a woman to be appealing to a man, she has to be visually appealing. Straight women and women in general don't tend to choose their partners based on looks. So the dude gets old and fat and the woman still loves him. What's so hard to understand.

In the gay male world older men are expected to be more visually appealing if they want to attract other men. Listen, I didn't make up the rules, that's just how it is. Nobody said it was fair.

Now folks, don't get all up in me, these are just general trends, but they have be researched ad nauseam.

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The part where it has anything to do with my opinion, really. All I was saying that women can carry on looking great when they're old, whereas most guys either end up as mutton dressed as lamb or with their waistband up around their armpits. There are good looks for women of middle and older age which do not really have any equivalent in men.

 

Excuse me for not acknowledging yours, but I thought I had. I gave the reason why many men let themselves go to pot and women don't. Because the men will get laid regardless.

But I disagree, if I understand you, I think there are vastly more "good styles of dressing" possible for older men then there are for women. But I'm biased. For me, any man in a what do you call it, Marquee, is more appealing than any Sports Illustrated woman in a bikini.

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I'd disagree, and it was kind of my whole point; an older guy has the option of trying to dress too young, or dressing old. Fine if you're resigned to getting old and looking like shit.

I'm not talking about women in bikinis here though, I'm just talking about normal clothing. Obviously a 50 year old woman in a bikini is going to look rubbish. What I'm saying is that, as women get older, they have a lot more choice in what to wear, and are more able to find something that suits them as a result. Women who don't dress their age tend to look very unattractive as a result; a woman in her 40s who dresses like a woman in her 40s is infinitely preferable to a woman in her mid 20s trying to dress like a schoolgirl.

I'm not actually talking about sexual attraction here (believe it or not, I really am gay!), just general presentability. The older guys get, the more they have to put up with looking like shit. As women get older, they have more option to still look good if they want to, other than trying to disguise their age.

 

For better or worse, a heterosexual man can get away with letting himself go to pot. It's even more so if he's in a longstanding relationship. A gay man is attracted to men, so he generally has more of a sense of what makes a man look good, so it is easier for him to make the effort. Not only that, he has to make the effort because gay men will tend to judge him by his looks more than heterosexual women tend to judge heterosexual men by their looks.

I've been lucky enough to see and meet some very attractive older men. If a man in his 40s or 50s is trying to act or look like a man in his 20s, the effect is clownish and not attractive. If he has a certain confidence and takes good care of himself, he can be extremely appealing.

The fact that I'm in my 40s myself is probably significant here. From what I have seen and heard (and I'm not saying it applies to everyone everywhere), many gay men in their 20s are unwilling to give a gay man over 40 (and sometimes 30) a second glance.

 

If a man in his 40s or 50s is trying to act or look like a man in his 20s, the effect is clownish and not attractive. If he has a certain confidence and takes good care of himself, he can be extremely appealing.

I very much agree with this.

I have also met a number of young men, who would not give a guy over 30 a second glance. If this happens to be their choice, that's perfectly fine with me. Yet, there are many guys in their mid-20s, who are interested in dating guys in their 40's, too. Some guys find men in that age to be attractive, settled in, secure and a real source of strength, guidance and inspiration.

Believe it or not, men come in packages, or so they say. Some are into friendships with benefits (of all kinds, that is) and others are not... To each one his own.

KD

 

I have a good friend that is 28 (I'm 49) and he really looks forward to the times when we're able to be together. He does hookup with younger guys too, but feels more at ease with me. He isn't quiet ready to settle down yet and I have no delusions that it'll be with me, but regardless we'll remain friends.

 

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SelfControl, I continue to disagree with you, I think. But forgive me, I'm not going to try taking your post point by point.



There are teen looks which are just silly on anyone older than 18. These are childish looks, clothing for somebody between child and adult. Though certain pieces of these clothing, a hat or a piece of bling, can be cute on a granny or granpa, if done tongue in cheek.

Women have more choices in clothing stye then men when they're younger. That doesn't change after we get older. Women have more options men have less.

I will concede that it seems like men have even fewer choices after a certain age, but that's because many men impose undue restraint on the way they dress as they get older. I think that's as reprehensible as trying to dress too young. In other words men are encouraged to give up style to dress more bland and conservative as they get older. But it isn't because the choices aren't available. Perhaps people are more critical of an older man who doesn't wear grandpa clothing.

To me, appropriate dress it's about style and authenticity. If you know how to dress yourself, it doesn't matter what you wear or at what age you wear it. I would say that Karl Lagerfeld dresses very modern, and therefore youthfully and he's in his 70's. He always looks stylish and at ease with his outre himself. Lagerfeld is authentic because he has never stopped being himself, even if that self does include a passion for something as superficial as high fashion.

Take as an example, Capri pants, which have been popular lately with young gay men. There's nothing especially youthful about the look other than its hot right now among young gay men. Picasso wore Capri pants when they were in style in the 50s and 60s; he was in his 70s. I see nothing wrong in a man of any age wearing Capri pants. I'm sure today some pople would look at a 60 year old gay man in Capri's and disapprove, "What's she trying to prove," or "Give it a rest," or "He's trying way too hard to look younger." Those attitudes are Victorian.

Compare the example of Sk8er Shorts, they are childish like pajamas. Any man over the age of 30 will look clowish in them like a high school hair cut. And yet, there's probably a 60 year old buff beach bum somewhere with enough style and authenticity who could get away with wearing them, but I don't recommend it.

Everyone seems to agree Straight men tend to let them selves go as they get older, more so than Gay men. A lot of straight women let themselves go too. I think a lot of the 'letting go' may be more authentic to those individuals. You know, in their youth they wore hip fashions and worked out, but that wasn't who they really were. The desire to keep up certain appearances gets dropped when you get older. For instance, I've stopped trying to appear as the sweetest honey, in case you haven't noticed.


But any limitations that older men have on dressing stylish are self imposed. As far as having to "give up" style or fashion because you've reached a certain age, that's as wrong for women as it is for men.

Fuck the detractors, if it fits your body type, wear it.


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