how do you guys like this one?

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Kastenfrosch, May 23, 2004.

  1. Kastenfrosch

    Kastenfrosch Blaubeerkuchen!! HipForums Supporter

    [​IMG]
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  2. Cirrhosis

    Cirrhosis Banned

    What do I think? I think it's crap. It's lazy, gimmicky, and not the bold statement you seem to think it is.

    It seems as if you put more effort into making it a pretty image rather than making it a good poem, which completely contradicts the entire poem.
     
  3. VanAstral

    VanAstral Member

    i love cirrhosis...
    je ne sais quoi!


    the poem's easily acceptable.
     
  4. Cirrhosis

    Cirrhosis Banned

    I never said it wasn't acceptable. In a time when trend is everything and faux-aggressive rebellion along with pseudo-depression is trend, this poem is easily acceptable.

    And the white messy font on black background? So scene-gawth.
     
  5. reef

    reef Member

    what and you think your rebellious "'faux-aggressive" towards society isn't just going with another trend?

    grow up, she just believes in one way and you believe in another. doesn't mean you have to hate.

    and wtf do you mean trend is everything. everything is a pretty heavy word to use and it seems to just be your opinion. the fact is she wrote a poem and it expressed what she felt.

    and what's up with all your synonyms for the word fake?
     
  6. littleskinny

    littleskinny Member

    I'm lost.


    And this message must be longer, apparently.
     
  7. ravenapples

    ravenapples Member

    Ever see a Clint Eastwood movie? I don't care if it was Dirty Harry or the Outlaw Joney Wales, Clint didn't fuck around. He couldn't because the moment he started fucking around somebody would shoot him in the back. (Interlude: the author of this post is not suggesting in anyway that anyone fucking around in real life should be shot in the back. the eastwood referance is just a childish ploy to express his opinion. any one jumping to the conclusion that the author is a rebel member of the bad ass, texas chapter of the NRA will be shot in the back.) Now Clint he always came out with both barrels, holding nothing back. Your poem was good when it could have been great the ending and begining flowed nicely. But I think in the middle the part when you start saying following, that could have opened you to infinite stanzas of material, such as some really gritty imagery, justaposition, aliteration. Your words seem strong but they also seem to becoming out of the corral with one six shooter. I say givem both barrels and don't stop till there stunned and have to pick up there brains off the floor.
     
  8. sunflowerAlys

    sunflowerAlys Member

    hit it hard, cirrhosis

    and geez man reef. he's not hating he's only passionate ( or is he a she...)
    but then again so are you (...passionate)
    love to you both

    i think the poem would sound good rapped

    afraid i'm deffinatley not the girl to do it
     
  9. Cirrhosis

    Cirrhosis Banned

    "what and you think your rebellious "'faux-aggressive" towards society isn't just going with another trend?"

    Huh? I don't have any rebellion against society.

    "grow up, she just believes in one way and you believe in another. doesn't mean you have to hate."

    I'm not hating. I'm stating my opinion.

    "and wtf do you mean trend is everything. everything is a pretty heavy word to use and it seems to just be your opinion. the fact is she wrote a poem and it expressed what she felt."

    To the majority of Americans, and most likely much of the world, trend is everything. People are weak-willed and find a need to latch onto something. There's nothing wrong with that; it's human nature.

    And as for her writing a poem about how she feels: I agree, she did do that. But just because she wrote a poem doesn't mean she wrote a good poem.
     
  10. veinglory

    veinglory Member

    The poem scans alright but I am left unsure as to what the message is.
     

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