how do you deal with fighting with your sig. other?

these days I don't. I wont fight. You(they) want to act like an adult, we can discuss everything. You want to yell at me, and I'm done talking.

 

You are exactly how my husband is. I'm grateful for the way he is. We've accomplished much more in conversations because of him being that way.

I used to yell. I grew up in a family of yellers. Being like that accomplished nothing in a disagreement. blah


How do you want to deal with a disagreement Interval? The only way things might change is if you don't give him the satisfaction of the yelling getting out of control. Very hard to train yourself to do this when they are pushing every button for you to lose control but eventually if he catches on you will both appreciate how to solve a disagreement and move forward.

If you have already apologized for the things you did 3 years ago and worked it out it's totally not fair he still brings it up. Sounds like he is still harboring bad feelings about it and needs to deal with it so he can move forward.

I do not want to sound like I'm telling you what to do but this has really helped me in moving forward with my own life. I hope it helps you too.

 

It honestly depends. Sometimes I can yell a bit, but I really try and not do that as I hate it when anger or frustration brings that out of me. Sometimes she can be quite the bitch and mean towards me. We don't fight a lot and most of the time we do its the result of miscommunication or frustration with our current situation of living so far apart. It is unbelievably hard living as far apart as we do from each other. There are times when I desperately need her and because of the distance, she is not available to me. There are times that I know she needs me and I'm not there for her because of the distance.

So, essentially the majority of our fights are a direct result of distance - its usually either her or me fighting to bring each other closer, so though they can be bad, usually the purpose of the fight is good - we fight to bring each other closer.

 

i cry and shut down.

i used to put down and yell some.

now i just wanna be mature about it but when dan cant i just ignore him.

 

Life is not what happens to us, it is how we respond to what happens to us.
We do not see the world the way it is, but we see it the way we are.

More specifically, you deal with you.
Not your other.
You can't deal with them, only they can.
You offer as many suggestions of what positive things you can do, and then regarding all the things they do that bug you. You don't say a word, cuz you have already done so I am sure, and did it work? If you havent done so, say it once, there's nothing wrong with expressing how you feel, only you must not forget, you can't make anyone change. Hell, I can't seem to learn how to change myself a lot of the time, lol.
Anger is good, we need it, but it can be expressed in unhealthy ways, and it should never become an accessory, like a purse. My latest relationship, we never stayed angry at each other for more than 5 minutes.

 

*jealous

 

how ya been BGXIII..... still giving good advice I see

 

heh blackguard is good like that. i got respect for him.

 

You guys...........

Are my cheeks red? Thanks for the props. I may be able to offer some helpful words, but it is only cuz I was so totally effed up most of my life. Whew, good thing that I'm all better now................ he he he
ALL BETTER. yeah

I owe so much of my knowledge of self esteem to my partner of 5 years, Sharon. It took her two years at least to make me see that I really didn't have a positive self image. Then the previous two years of laughing in her face seemed pretty stupid....
Trust me, I can still say and do some really idiotic things........ which I see no need to go into detail about.....lol

Thanks again, it made my day reading those two posts.

 

I like a good arguement every once in a while, but I feel like you shouldn't argue over serious things. You should discuss those. Every relationship needs some arguing to stay healthy. When I say argue I don't mean screaming at each other. I mean bickering a bit. Without name calling and what not. I don't think I've ever been the first to raise my voice at my partner, but I've been known to get quite angry. If you've let loose on me, expect the same. I'll yell, throw things, leave, or... I'll just ignore the person. It just depends on the fight and the mood I'm in. I've been in physical fights with a partner before. I was just as physical as he was. Thats not a good way to handle things though. If it's at that point you should just leave. I should also listen to my own advice. I know that if any person hits me, I'm going to hit them back and hopefully harder than they hit me. Not good. Just leave before it gets that bad.

 

I know what you mean. I had a partner like that once, but she never stayed around long enough to see the difference she has made in my life and in me, overall.

 

I am single I dont hafta worry about it. Thats how I deal with it!

 

I just like to talk about things. If there's a problem I talk about it, I have to speak my mind otherwise it drives me nuts. It can do more harm than good sometimes, but at least my s.o knows what's going on. Sometimes I get all wound up and explode with what I want to say, but I always try to argue rationally in a sensible way. Then again, I'm single so my way might not be the best way.

 

i kill them..thas how i deal...

actually when i get into arguments and fights, I dont say anything and just walk away and calm down...(most of the time that is) cause if i dont calm down, i overreact and cant think straight cause im pissed...

 

I'll give him the silent treatment or try to make him laugh. I hate arguements. It takes two to argue, so why give the other person the satisfaction of an arguement.

 

haha!

thats what im trying to do. and i WILL succeed.

 

sometimes when i argue with someone i am in a relationship with or seeing, it sorta makes me in the mood cause all that anger could make for quite a dry hump

 

sorry, i just saw my thumb and your ass and i just couldnt help myself...

 

looks to me like you did help yourself.....