How do I stop the excuses my gf gives me

I hardly ever get laid with my gf. She always has the excuse "I'm tired" or "I have a headache" etc. I'm sick of them! Then if I just try to take it she gets pissed at me. Then a couple days later she'll say "I love it when you fuck me and I don't have a choice, it makes me feel sexy". I am a gentleman so I try to be gentlemanly to her and not rape her, but I almost feel like I have to in order to get any. I need some advice. I try seduction, massages, just going for it and even just asking (even though I know its a no). So please help! I only get it maybe once a week and its probably only on her day off.

 

Buddy, a gentleman you are not.
An asshole you are.

 

What makes me an asshole

 

You are not an asshole. She is sending you mixed messages if she says no but later says she liked it when you took her and had your way, I would run if I were you, this is only a girlfriend playing you for your feelings and you should think what it's gonna be like if ever married. Sorry she ain't that cute I am sure. She should mean no when she says no and shouldn't be letting you think its ok to play that game. We do mean No and it's easy to understand if we don't fuck with it on our guy.
Kudos to you for asking what to do. We can't answer why she does it but I am saying it isn't right, it fucks with our rights to use the no word when we need to.

 

You're probably terrible in bed and she's porkin someone at work.

That or she gets tired and headaches.

 

My ex-gf was very generous with sex, but sometimes we wouldnt do it for a week or two. I just "took it" one day. Same thing, she said she loved it and if I was ever in bad need to just do that again, so I did it our whole relationship. In fact, when we broke up, I went to her apartment and just took it .... it was the hottest sex we had ever.

 

Yeah sorry guys but when a person says "I want sex but I don't want to rape her" they're an asshole. That shouldn't even have come up in a sentence about your partner. That's fucked up.

 

I think he meant taking it that way as she kind of says is ok feels like he is raping her to him which it could if he is really unsure what she wants. She is leading him to believe one thing and then toying it. It's a bad way to tease your man because the day you mean No you don't want him to think he should. He's led to believe he should if he wants it and he is not comfortable with it.

 

We have a very good relationship and no she is not ugly, nor is she cheating on me. When she does decide to fuck me she enjoys it, and I have told her that eventually I am going to give up and not want to try anymore if this behavior continues. She is 24 and I am 26 so its not like we are old or anything. Looking for some new tricks. I am a lot more kinky then she is so I'm sure that is a bit of a factor. I am just out of ideas.

 

E=Irminsul;7981315]Yeah sorry guys but when a person says "I want sex but I don't want to rape her" they're an asshole. That shouldn't even have come up in a sentence about your partner. That's fucked up.[/QUOTE]

You're taking it out of context. Just because I said the word rape doesn't mean I do it.

 

well, you are getting sex once a week (and whining about it).

non-assholes get sex never, and just get to listen to girls complain about the assholes they have sex with once a week.

 

I agree with irminsul.
When someone misuses the word 'rape' so nonchalantly, my asshole detector goes off..

Maybe your girlfriend is actually tired though. Does she work a demanding job? What makes her so tired? How long have you been together? You really do sound like an old married couple and you said you're young so there might be something deeper wrong. Maybe she's losing interest in you.. or you just have a much higher sex drive than her. Has your sex life with her always been like this or did it change recently?

 

Holy shit forget that I said rape. I don't rape her. We had sex quite a bit in the first few months and then slowly dwindled. Obviously I have a bigger sex drive then she does. I am looking to change that. We've been together a year and a half. Basically everything else in our relationship is good. We live together and have been for almost 6 months.

 

maybe your crusty socks are a turn off

 

Sex is great but it isn't everything and it isn't even nearly the most important thing.

 

Jeeze.. I didn't think the OP came off that badly..

Anyways, maybe you can extrapolate on the work situation. Does she work a lot on a job that's physically and/or mentally draining? Maybe she's just tired.

You said you get some on her day off. That makes sense. She's a little more relaxed and rested.

Do you work? If not maybe that's compromised her sexual view of you a little. If you do, I dunno, be a nice guy?

It's odd if she always has an excuse. But if it's just a situation of ,"I'm young and super horney and she's tired from work a lot," I wouldn't look too far for an answer.

Aside from that, with the whole, 'I love when you just take it,' business. Maybe she's kinda fuckin with you?

 

I didn't think he came off badly either. Read how rape was used. I wouldnt want to take sex from anyone either. It would seem like I was raping them. See it now?

Anyway. As far as tricks, try the romance thing. Sneak up on her and just hold her tight and then let go. After a few of those reminders that you love her she might come around. Hold a hand out as she walks by and say I missed you all day. I fall hard for a hug that finds his hands rubbing my back for as long as a hug lasts. He doesn't have to work hard to make me horny or even just leave strong but short blasted reminders that he is with me all the time.

 

Exactly. Rape isn't a big boogieman bad word just because of its social meaning. It can be used in other contexts. Like any word.

Sally's advice is good. Test the waters. She wants to be taken, take her. But do it more subtly. When she is responsive, pull out the big guns. When she's not, let her know it's okay by still being romantic without being sexual.

Run her a bath, massage her neck and back and shoulders, hips..calves. There's a thousand ways to enjoy a woman without sex. Find some and enjoy yourself while making her happy. Maybe she thinks you only want sex always and she wants you to show her more.

 

We have an amazing relationship, I've never been happier with her than anyone else. We rarely fight and we are always excited to see each other when we come home from work. I work as well, I do valet for a resort and she is a hair dresser. Both job are demanding in there own ways. And I am not some horny young guy that wants to fuck anything with 2 legs. But I need some action. We have had many conversations about this subject but nothing seems to be working. I am very open with her and I don't intend to ruin my relationship over how little or much we have sex. But damnit I need some pussy. I am very sweet to her and try to romance her because I love her very much. But when she gets me all hot and bothered and I begin to escalate the situation, I am accused of only doing what I did to try and get laid. Which is not the case. She just turns me on ALL THE TIME!

 

Yeah I think lots of people on this forum thread pre-judged you based on a moment of political incorrectness.

Your situation sounds really typical actually, and there really is not much you can do but talk to your partner about it and try to reach an agreement, masturbate to take the edge off, or just wait for age to reduce your sex drive.