How do I stop looking to women for answers?

I am a very strong-willed man. I have quite a bit of life experience. I have spent time in the intensive care unit recovering from broken necks, etc.....

however, I (unfortunately) was raised by my mother....

I did have brothers and played sports competitively, but unfortunately a lot of a person's personality is how they were raised.

I do know my father and I like him, but he wasn't around when I was younger.

Recently, somebody told me "you have to stop looking to women for answers." At the time, I didn't know what they were talking about, but now I kind of do...

What do I need to know?

(or is it bad to look to women for answers on certain things, because this post is generally directed at women? lol) I am posting a post asking how not to look to women for answers, and simultaneously looking to them for the answer lol

Somebody help me.

 

Obviously having two involved parents is IMHO crucial for any child growing up. Similar to you my parents got divorced when I was very young, so like you I was raised by my mother. I can tell there are certain things which I missed out on or didn’t get the proper “fathering” as a result. There’s nothing wrong with seeking advice from a woman, but I’m guessing this is more about taking charge yourself to have the confidence to make decisions on your own and not need a sound board. Mom’s tend to shelter and cling, fathers almost the opposite which is why it’s a good balance. Leaning to be confident, make your own decisions and not look to woman for security or advice is not an easy thing for you cause like you said it was kind of pressed into your upbringing stamp.

All I can say is little by little make a conscious effort to take control yourself. Yes woman are intelligent empowered creatures just like Men are, but they do like a man who will stand on his own & can feel safe and protected with. It’s a fine line playing that role and yet still be “sensitive” when needed. So sounds like you have the sensitive part down, just little by little work on the taking charge part

 

Did you have a mother who you feel loved you ? One you could turn to for helpful answers ? I never felt I could turn to either parent for helpful answers though they loved me they were living in their own worlds. Also, I have watched some [ about 10 or more men die who spoke English ]. They all but one cried out to their mothers as they died. The other guy called out for what I assume was his wife. So it seems when it really gets down to it most men look to or seek their mothers when they die if they have time to. Never their fathers in my experiences. I came very close to dying and I was thinking about my mother and father as I lay dying. I wanted say good-bye to them. I think there is something instinctual about this. To let them know I did love them and was sorry I was not a better son. To know how much I appreciated their love for me.

 

I rarely +1 rep, but this comment was too deep and full of good information summarized in just a few paragraphs that it should be archived and put in a book somewhere.


I second this view OP.

 

What answers are you looking for? Everyone is different.......in some ways....same in other ways........Look to yourself for answers.......is the best advice I can give......If you are in a relationship with a woman, just ask her whatever you want to know.....

 

To be more specific with that learn a hobby with a skill that you've always wanted to do, like write a story or learn computer science or master mathematics. Do something actually genuinely interesting to you other than women and romance and all that complicated stuff.


The more you learn about yourself the more experiences you have, the more people you are gonna meet and the more of yourself you can bring to the table when you do date.


Also play things low key, be cool, calm, collected and just role with life accept the things you can control and the things you can't and keep on moving.

 

I agree with monkjr. Do things you love to do. Gain confidence in yourself.
Not sure in what capacity you are having issues with women. I suggest you be yourself, be true, honest, caring, without being too sappy. When it comes to making decisions, do what you feel is right. If it turns out ok, great. If not, then apologize, make corrections, and move on.

 

agree with above posts, u have to focus on you. dont even look to your friends or society for answers, look within yourself. have you ever traveled by yourself? it was one of the most amazing experiences ive ever had, it forces you to rely on yourself. the more you look within yourself, the stronger your personality will be. soon you will notice that you dont bend over for anyone and dont give a shit what anyone thinks.