how do I explain to my bf this before sex?

You've got a penis. You sure as hell can't hide that when you get down to the issue of having sex. Tell him, tell him now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I would just go for it ... when he is aroused he will do must anything with you and if he has feelings for you in sexual way he will enjoy

 

NO. WRONG. lmao! If OP hides that he/she has a penis and just "goes for it" op might end up very very hurt.

Be open about it now before you get deeper in . . . this is very important. sex is important for an adult relationship and genitalia are important for sex, so this is important, don't dance around the issue. let your boyfriend know that you have a penis and not a vagina.

 

Honesty and possible Heartache, is better than Deceit and Heartbreak
- and the sooner the better, meThinks

 

So in other words, you look like a woman and even have some female features but you have a penis, correct?!

Hope for the best, expect the worse because you're probably gonna get the latter. You waited way too long to tell him your condition, so he'll probably feel double crossed or doped. I would suggest just coming clean, soon as you have a few minutes with him to explain yourself. If it ruins things, then you have brought it upon yourself. Lessons for the future, good luck.

 

When I looked up klinefelter , it discribes a male with an extra chromosome , it says they have a penis and small balls . http://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/klinefelter_syndrome.cfm http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klinefelter's_syndrome http://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition/klinefelter-syndrome If you do have a penis and not what he would think you have , yea it might be a good idea to tell him . Dont weight until he puts his hand there and gets a shock . desert rat

 

read my first 2 links both mention that most identify as male however lack virilization physically. However there are some like. We vary much. I personally was the more feminine type physically speaking. I have everything I have from natural hormones. It also describes that breast deveopment is more frequent which that and my hip fat distribution is ore female therefore why I look female. My voice hasn't come if ever yet so I pass easily. Anyway I have figured I'll just tell him. I know it's going to be a problem if I hold it longer. I guess I know what I have to do....

 

Seriously good luck, i can't imagine what it must be like to have a condition that you feel you have to hide even from someone you're ready to get intimate with. Sending good vibes!

 

You're going to have to tell him straight away and waaay before you'd even think of having sex. I can't believe you don't know how obvious this is. It's really a no-brainer. Your gender identity is completely your own business and if you feel you were raised "incorrectly" as male then you probably were but that has no bearing on how your boyfriend will feel about things. The distinction between your condition/identity and that of a pre-op transsexual might seem huge to you but you can guarantee it's a trivial distinction as far as most other people are concerned so any advice for a pre-op trans woman in this situation will be the same for you. Tell him, don't let it be a surprise.

 

pre-op trans-woman usually need hormones to have a female body. I haven't. Plus it really was my reason I decided to live as a female not a total thing inside my head. well it's not trivial if I were born an entire male I'd probably identify that way but like society makes it where men looks and acts a certain while women have their role. I am stuck in between I had to choose really. Some features I have aren't feminine while others aren't masculine so I wish I could explain it that way but I think it would make more issues.

 

Maybe you could take a picture of your genetailia post it here so we all can understand..... Also so him the picture and see what he says because if he reaches down unassuming and find franks and beans he may get really really angry and hurt you,,,,whether or not he loves you or not he is going to feel betrayed....

 

As in any case, the truth is the truth. You are a person who feels, cares and loves. If someone can't handle that, then you are better off. I can't even imagine how difficult it is for you to trust someone enough to let them in that close to you and know you might end up breaking things off, but if you never take the chance then you never get to to love. Just my humble opinion.

 

It's like I say though, the distinction between your situation and that of a pre-op trans woman is a big one but that's from your point of view. Try and see it from the outside. Most people either won't get the distinction or won't care about it. The issues are broadly the same, you identify as female. Trans woman also do. It's not really fair to dismiss their experience as "a total thing inside my head".

The key point to get across is to say that while you identify as female, you were born with male genitalia. When you've got that point across you can elaborate on the exact reasons and, if you wish, on the precise distinction between your situation and that of transsexuals. if you have any thoughts about being intimate with your boyfriend you need to get the first point across with him. If that's not a deal-breaker you can go into the second point but there's no way it works the other way around. The sort of person who will be put off by the male genitalia (which is the vast majority of straight guys unfortunately) will not give you a pass because of your exact condition. That's just not the way sexual attraction and desire works.

Put it another way, if your bf doesn't already know about your situation and hasn't figured it out for himself, it is likely to come as an unwelcome surprise but you're better off dealing with this now before things get too far.

 

You need to tell your bf at some point in time. You can set and think of the best way to do this , you might show him a naked pic of you and what you do have. There are a few people that nature plays a mean trick on. Most streght guys would have a problem having sex with a girl that has a penis , its just the way things are . If this does not work out and you look for some one else , before things go to far , you might show them pics of your self . desert rat

 

Just go for it ... you sound very nice and compassionate.
You will either be a very close "boy friend" or extremely close intimate partner ... perhaps the worse will happen but I believe the friendship will continue either way.
From very thing you have said ... you sound very hot in a nice way --- so just do it in some form soon when you are both alone and can be for some time ... he may be very curious, I would be

 

this happened in law and order svu.

you might find this episode cathartic and disturbing season 4 episode 21. (it's just t.v. don't do want she does)

Don't be hard on trannies outkast unite. To them you have a natural advantage they would love to have female hormones in their blood. They are the largest group of people who know what it feels like to be out of place in their gender. I you might want to seek a tranny group at one point, real human help is much better.

how old are you? this changes things. maybe your boyfriend is bi, as a man who dated a ftm (female to male) tranny pre-op I fall in love with the person not the body. But it going to come to shock to him and it is going to come off as a lie.

I ask your age because there are options. You could become that woman you always felt like, and like you said you already got the hormones. though it can be costly. I really don't recommend trying the get he surgery behind your boyfriend back. (one you'll rush and bias your decision. two if he finds out later you were a boy he'll see you as trying to hide a lie.)

I found out you age by your other post. At your age I would take a least a year before considering surgery. Though being a gay guy doesn't have to suck. If you like having your dick and having anal sex there a world of people who live that way. Many bi guys would find a feminine man very attractive. (the few men I find attractive all have female features) Shame your parents are buzz kill. Never feel ashamed for feeling homosexual. to each his own.

good luck.

 

Your bf may be ok with things the way they are , the only you will know is to discuss it with him . I am a streight guy , but for some reasion just thinking about sex this way is getting me off . If you do get married and want kids , you can alwayse adopt . desert rat

 

I'm a kid knock it off....

he's not bisexual. I'm a girl. I was never a boy well not completely. I have gone to transgender support groups recently. I don't feel similar to my peer there. I don't think many of them like my type either. I identify closer to cisfemale imo. I'm going to tell him though this weekend

 

Yes tell him this weekend ... it will be good in my opinion.

 

4 pages into the thread and I'm still confused....

You physically look like a female...breasts, facial features, hip ratio....but you have balls and a penis? Is that right?

Good luck telling him.....I don't think most straight guys would take this very well, just to be real. Hopefully the fact that he's in love with you will enable him to be very kind about it, but I don't think he will want to continue the relationship.