How did you get your girlfriend?

If those are your deepest most honest thoughts, you should try just telling the girl you think she's cute. Smile at her, actually HIT on her. So long as you're not grabby or rude it's totally fine. The skies the limit bro.

 

there is a belief among buddhist monks that you lose more than just seminal fluid when you ejaculate, that you lose energy and that if the energy isn't passed along to another person then it is wasted

it's also why many priests require chastity. there is something to be had here

some people also believe that if you do not allow yourself sexual gratification that you will be more aggressive in finding a mate.

 

chloroform..

 

And you have experience with this?

If you do I don't recommend what is being implied here for the OP.

 

Yeah well, it wont really register till probably much later on, but that Dude standing next to her is one of two things, either the doormat or the bodyguard.

I had the opposite kind of trouble in high school, difficulty with some of the guys who I thought were pissed off directly with me, only later to click that no, wasnt about me, they were pissed off cos I was friends with or too close to some chic they had a crush on. And that crush something they'll never admit to outloud, often to anyone, and the frustration gets taken out in less obvious ways

It still all comes down to you, off playing shows as you say independant, no girlfriend, no doubt there are some girls you dont pay attention to that are pinning over you, your only talking about the girls that you think are cute or pretty or you want to have sex with. Then even if you land a girl thats really cute, then you have to bother with everything else, her friends, family, her wanting the both of you to take long walks on the beach and share your feelings when you'd rather get with the band and rock on, go get smashed with your mates or play video games.

As for the 'Dude' thats always standing next to her, you dont ever pay attention to them, dont really know how to rank them, and you never see everything.

You all always get dupped by the gay bodyguard cos you fall for all that crap everyone else feeds you that only really girly guys are gay, even though that guy standing next to her is wearing designer sunnies and jeans buzz cut and she's comfortable around him cos his cheeks dont go red around her.

And you all get dupped by the boyfriend, cos you dont really know what their ranking is, you cant trust getting the truth from a guy when it contradicts that machismo. You'll never hear the doormat admit, well I have to put up with all this girly crap, lucky if I get it once a month, and it pisses me off that she gets more excited around a certain male professor or the quarterback.

Every high school, every year in college has at least one or two of the ricky martin types, lots of gal friends but spends his nights popping Es with other Ricky martin types with his shirt off shaking it to Gaga
Every High School, every year in college has the quarterback types, the one s actually doing everyone elses girlfriend, and usually at least one older male teacher / professor with some swagger all the girls are pinning over


So pay closer attention next time to that dude standing next to her, how overprotective is he. Do you really want to be the doormat. There is sex and then there is everything else. When it comes to everything else, chics are pretty fucking gay

 

not necessarily. but stop trying so hard, and your odds are significantly better at least.

well don't do that. get a buzz and maintain it. if you get as drunk as you can you'll either forget to talk to girls or you'll make an ass of yourself while trying.

that situation is commonly known as the friend zone. that's not where you want to be.

 

Its really not that hard, you're just putting way too much pressure on yourself which is making you even more socially anxious.

I really think the key is to meet a girl in a low pressure situation. You said you were in a band? So your bandmates have girlfriends? Or at least friends that are girls? And these girlfriends have friends?

So you guys should all hang out together. You can be yourself around the guys in your band, yes? So if you're hanging out with the guys in your band and other girls just happen to be there, then you should be able to be yourself, make jokes, relax a little without feeling the need to make awkward conversation.

As a girl, I have to say that there is nothing I hate more than awkward small talk. I don't care if it takes me 6 months to really get to know a guy, I would rather not talk or make dumb jokes that don't really mean anything for the first 6 months then have awkward "getting to know you" conversation.

Avoid that. Hang out with girls in low pressure situations with your friends around and don't go out of your way to talk to the girls. Just be yourself, talk to your friends and let the girls get to know your personality enough so that eventually you can relax enough to talk to them too.

 

Right! How do I make it clear I want a relationship and not just a friendship? without just being like hey! you're sexy! wanna makeout?!

 

"What do you want to totally rock my world for a night?"

And, the girls who are giving you looks aren`t the ones who want you. Attention, yes. Free gifts, yeah. A doormat, yes. Sex, no.

The girls who want sex will approach you, no problem. It`s you who thinks they are too skanky. And the ones who want you to be their boyfriend, you think are a bit chubby and below your league.


But, boy. Can they suck a dick!

Edit: And the chick who says she wants to go home and cuddle up to her b is probably just insecure you aren`t hitting on her hard enough.

 

By being like hey! you're sexy! wanna makeout?!

You've got it the wrong way around, make it like friends first and you just get friendzoned, they'll thing you just want a gal pal. i.e you dont think they are hot enough to go crazy

Hit on her, give her a chance to scoff, pfff, you think you are hot enough for this. then try harder, oh you are so hot I cant stand it, I cant live without you .....all that stupid shit. You cant listen to the chics, they are never going to admit how vain they are. But the players are right, this shit works more often than not cos they are all about the attention.

But then later on to work out that vanity is really just a whole bunch of insecurities, which includes insecurities about sex cos they were never really all that interested in the first place.

Cherea is right, the horniest ones are the ones that come at you, are more interested in sex than attention. Its basic biology in the end, hornier, more hormones running around its going to be harder to keep their weight under control, they are going to be chubbier. Especially if its more around the baby bucket than anywhere else.

And you cant win in the end, all the other chics see you wasting to much time chasing skinny pretty girls with no boobs, hips like a guy, that get scared at even the mention of the word penis. Then they are just going to think you are in the closet, or a scared little boy or all just about the ego. Scared of the horny ones.

Next time you get one of the aggressive, what you consider skanky, ones with much back, throw caution to the wind, then pump like the world just ended and you are at the last remaining gas station....and pump and pump.

Either that or you might as well just come out of the closet

 

Here's a question, so instead of awkward getting to know you small talk, what kinds of topics would you want or suggest a guy bring up to a girl he just met right then and there but wants to get with for sex or a relationship?

 

Something else I forgot to mention is, if a girl spends hours in front of the mirror, and pretty nails, and feet, and everything to the minimulest detail is pretty and perfumed, chances are she`s a submissive and steady fag hagging.

That`s what I think. They are not even interested in sex any other way, unless it be denial and pain.

Or, depending on their age, they may be having a case of the biological clock and are looking for a doormat. But, that`s late 20s. They may friendzone you for a decade, and fuck the whole football team and every leech with a Porsche (and, a couple of girls at that), before finally settling for you.

Mid-twenties they are looking for free dates, cars, and VIPs. Even if it`s a hippie VIP. Think The Marley family. It doesn`t matter. Every social circle`s got its VIPs.

In their early 20s and teens they are mostly looking for attention and daddy figures. The princesses, that is. Especially, if they go to your dorm to "study together."

In the end, it`s really the cougars (and, other guys ) who actually make horny college and high school kids survive.

And...the sluts. But those are far and few between and every stud is fucking them, so they have to make the rounds fucking everybody else before they make their way back to you. You`re not going to keep `em.

---------

Edit: How did I get my girlfriend? If I told you, I`d have to kill you.

 

if you're with the right girl

trust me

you'll spent all your time wondering

and still have absolutely no idea how you got her :mickey:

 

this seems a little warped

 

I hate to admit it, but this is true. From what I've read about your feelings, you're really only interested in the stereotypically "hot" girls, and you're also into the instant gratification, the let's-have-sex-right-away type of relationship. The best way to get what you want in that situation is to feed her ego, while also making an effort to be genuine. As in, none of that arrogant douchebag stuff (which considering your shyness shouldn't be a problem).

Some ideas would be, at a party:
Compliment her outfit
Ask if she wants to be your beerpong partner
Offer to refill her cup for her
Introduce yourself to her group of friends
If she's standing alone, say "you look kinda lonely" and invite her to join you and your friends' conversation
DO NOT take her to a dark, secluded corner, because that makes you seem like a creep

In class:
Consistently sit near her and make eye contact and smile
Get to class early and make small talk beforehand
Ask her how she felt about a recent exam/assignment
If there's an exam coming up, suggest you two study together somewhere on campus
If you happen to see her outside of class, be friendly and say hi

Most importantly, be clear about your intentions - say things like "I think you're very pretty" and "I'd like to get to know you." These things can elicit a surprisingly strong response. That's just my two cents. Good luck!

 

It's funny males ask, "How do I get a girlfriend" as if it's something to be gotten, like a job, or a paycheck. Females ask, "How do I find a boyfriend" with the mindset that all she has to do is actually locate a suitable mate and the rest takes care of itself. Stop trying to "get" - get out of that mindset. "Getting a girlfriend" isn't an obstacle. The next time you want to approach a girl, don't come at her with the intention of "getting" her at all.

Here's a secret: You don't get to choose -EVER! You get to be chosen, but here's the kicker - you still have to approach, because most women are supernaturally fucking insecure and will avoid risking rejection like grim death. That's your job (never mind the emotional damage you'll incur as a result of rejection - you're a man, your feelings don't matter, get over it).

Also, your job is to be able to hyper aware of the diabolically subtle clues and body language that the one who has chosen you, is in fact, open to perhaps not rejecting you. Good luck with that.

In summary - you need to learn to not give a fuck about being single. You need to adopt the belief that it doesn't matter at all, in other words you need to stop caring. Once you achieve that - then the trick is figuring out how to turn your cold heart back on and recover your emotions so that you can actually give a shit about the person you do manage to get involved with. And Good luck with that also.

(By the way, all of this is based on the assumption that you are, in fact, a male).

-- oh and one more thing - those girls that you are worried about "having boyfriends" - at least half of them already had boyfriends, when they met their current boyfriends.

 

Well, if a guy talks to me because he wants to get with me for sex I can usually smell his intentions from a mile away and I give him the cold shoulder.

If a guy talks to me because he's genuinely interested in me, I would want him to just be himself. I don't go for "game," I don't fall for smooth operators lol, or even guys that sit around and think up topics beforehand.

Buuut...some girls do. If you're into dumb girls.

He should really just be himself. Why waste time trying to think up topics? I've stressed throughout this thread that he should just relax and crack jokes around girls. Seriously, if a guy can get a girl laughing then he has a pretty good chance. If he wants to go straight for a "serious" conversation, then just bring up something he's genuinely interested in. If he's not really interested in the conversation it will just come off as fake and maybe even a little sleazy.

Or be direct and honest. I had a guy a few months ago come up and hit on me, which usually turns me off as I mentioned before except he was so honest about it. I have a boyfriend so I was trying to be polite and nice without appearing interested, and he leaned in and said "I'm trying so hard to talk to you," all simple and direct and sexy, and for some reason I really liked that approach. I would have went out with that guy in a heartbeat if I didn't have a boyfriend.

lol, it really is.

 

Meanwhile in africa people are hungry . You and your BIG problem .
Did you ever got party with any of these girls .Get drunk and have fun . Shy people are more fun when they get drunk ,

 

In Africa you get a girlfriend by giving her father 10 heads of cattle. Your attempt at diverting the conversation by implying his problems are any more or less severe than someone else's across the globe is flawed.

 

That's bullshit. Nobody likes the "Africa card". If you want to have that mentality, go to Africa. I shouldn't have to feel insecure about how "important" my problems are in relation to the population of another country. In response to everyone else: Thank you for the great advice! But I must say. How do you turn off your sex drive? I just can't HELP staring at a girls ass. Women who have commented on this matter: what should I do? I know you must feel like I am objectifying women by staring at a girl's ass, so what would you suggest I do then? Practice chastity and restrain my sexual impulses?