How can you tell if you miss an ex or just miss being in a relationship?

this will probably be a long post ill try and break it up into paragraphs so its easier to read

so some backstory: about two and a half years ago i got dumped and hit a big low in my life, was smoking/drinking a lot and selling my possessions to buy oxys while i lived in my moms basement...it was a rough time. Anyway one day i was on the bus home after pawning my guitar amp and picking up some bud and oxys that i was sure wasnt going to last past that night i realized what i had become and ended up stopping everything for a bit and shortly after i met a new girl.

Since I had been sober i was having problems sleeping (as i sit here at 320am and type this i realize trying to sleep sober is still an issue for me lol) and a good friend called me around 2am saying his car broke down. I went to get them and met the girl there, drove her home, and started talking a lot shortly after. one thing led to another and we started dating and everything was great. So many things in common...art student, into the same music/open minded about music, open minded about drugs, just all around great.

Skip ahead now and we've been together for just over a year and i had a lot of things going on in my life (lost a job, a grandparent, and my childhood dog in about 2 weeks time) and never being great with expressing my feelings in person i just kept everything bottled up and got depressed and obviously she noticed and kept pushing me to talk to her and eventually it led to me telling her i wasnt happy with things and we ended it pretty civilly last year around this time.

This time last year after i lost my one job i ended up picking up a whole bunch of overtime so i had a lot of extra cash i was just blowing on pot and booze and concerts to keep myself occupied so the first couple months apart were kind of a haze until after new years when i not only lost my over time but my hours got cut from 40 down to 32hrs and i was barely paying rent by myself so i couldnt really go out and do anything for a while, but weirdly i was still in kind of a happy daze i think. Then I got told that my other job would be closing and my last day of work would be the end of june.

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Okay backstory set lol sorry its long...but skip ahead to now, ive been unemployed for the past 3 months, moved into a cheaper apartment with some friends so i can afford it while on unemployment. Lately ive been feeling really down, submitting lots of applications, going on a few interviews and getting my hopes up only to be told they are going with another person for the job. Ive been striking out with the last few girls ive had interest in which i think has a lot to do with how im feeling now. The last couple weeks ive been thinking more and more about my ex and feeling more and more like i made a huge mistake letting her go. I spent a lot of on facebook with messages typed to her only to delete them before sending them, until tonight when i finally messaged her and just talked like normal asking how things were going and it was good that we dont harbor any kind of resent me towards eachother, she told me how good her year was and that shes loving being in phoenix (she moved about 2 months ago) and i just kinda made jokes about my year and said i was good (like i said, im bad at expressing myself) and we talked for a bit and then said goodnight and that was it.

Since a couple weeks ago i cant really get her out of my head. I know theres not much i can actually do seeing as philly and phoenix arent exactly close to eachother (though shes actually in the area for a wedding this weekend) but i really feel like i miss her and wish we were back together. On the other hand though im confused...i know ive been down and depressed lately and i dont really know how to tell if i really still have feelings and want her back or if im just feeling nostalgic for a happier time in my life and/or just miss being in a relationship and maybe thats whats making me want her back...i dont know




sorry this is long and i ramble on (i tend to do that when i post things lol) but im just looking for some kind of advice...should i talk to her and tell her how im feeling?