how can you tell if someone is gay?

calisouth, i'm just as confused. i don't find it entirely inconceivable that some people can just sense it, but i am certainly not one of those people. i think if you really want to know, and you evaluate the situation as objectively as one could (meaning don't assume someone is gay simply because you WANT them to be - a mistake i've many one too many times), then its not so difficult to read the subtle "signs", whatever they may be.

can people tell with me? it depends on who you ask. most people, at least friends, do not pick up on it right away. i actually STILL have people that are trying to convince me that i'm just confused and that i'm actually straight, which is hilarious. this has got me in some trouble with girls. when two people are in total denial, regrettable things happen. other friends would claim i'm kind of campy and flamboyant. i assume different roles around different people. all of them are roles i consider legitimate, but some happen to more or less "gay" than the others.

 

I'd say, first, if they have a boyfriend/husband. Or who they have sex with (if the same sex then yes they are gay). Or what they jack off to. Or if they say they are.

If they do not tell you this information, then they do not want you to know. Then, who the fuck cares? LOL

 

*is a victim of femme invisibility*

I hate it when guys hit on me.

 

You cant tell if some random guy is gay or not.

But you know when a guy is checking you out, and you know that look when a guy knows your gay and he's worried your ficticous gaydar is going to out him.

 

some are obvious and some are not. i'm openly gay any way. i'm not masculine and although i'm not feminine, i do carry a lot of feminine traits and characteristics.

i find it very hard to be able to tell if someone is gay. unless they're really feminine and flamboyant, it can be real tricky. not every masculine guy is straight and not every feminine guy is gay. with this being said, i normally don't even worry about it. most men are on a DL any way (in the closet). i prefer to talk to guys that are open with their sexuality. i don't have time to be trying to figure out a guy. i usually just flirt with guys or i may ask them if they are straight or gay depending on the guy and the atmosphere. i am very straight forward when it comes to sexuality. however, straight people have the upper hand. men can easily and more freely holla at women any and every where. gay men can't do this.
i find it hard to tell if certain boys are gay or not but i am also starting to not pay it much mind.

 

Well, people know i'm gay since i kiss men and grab them in the groins in public!!!
jks, but you can simply tell with some and not with other.
ex: I'm not flamboyant, everyone thinks i'm straight(except close friends)

 

most people think im straight, lotta gays think im straight (queer dirty hippies wtf?!) had a few times where the vibes clicked up right and managed to get laid from eyes meeting, I think the gaydar only really works when both queers are tuned to the "oh look at that stud" thoughttrain, but for picking off random dudes that pass ya in the street, or an allready taken and faithful man, not so much.

 

An erection over a male is a dead-giveaway.

 

(removed smart-ass comment)

 

edit

 

I think everyone's so different it's hard to tell.Some may fit into sterotypes where others won't at all.Alot of us are in the middle somewhere.Get to know the person,(if you can,and really want to know)of course you'll get clues and find out,you could even ask.There's no rule for everyone to think so is ridicolous.There's all sorts of people out there.Everyone's an individgual.There maybe some generalizations people fall into but not everyone.

 

I guess I just "look" straight, whatever that means. I've even been to gay bars & wondered why no one really talks to me or flirts with me, as I'm too shy usually to make the first move.

 

I can tell quite well whether or not someone is gay. I'm wrong every-so-often but I can just feel by talking to someone (and not in the touch/feel way ) whether or not they are. The biggest giveaway I've seen is if someone tells a gay joke and you can pick up the nervous / slightly hurt tang to their laugh. I've also accidentally said somthing to a guy before that sounded really homophobic and you could almost see the hurt in his eyes dispite him laughing it off. Meh, really no one thing will stand for ALL gay people, but you can tell... somtimes.

 

I don't think anyone I'm close to knows I'm gay, I'm not out yet. Only about 2 friends know, and when I go out or meet someone of intrest and am asked I do say that I am, those people that I tell don't know my crowd of friends. It's kind of frustrating for me these days, I do want to come out, but it's hard for me to take that step.

 

You can't tell.

 

This whole thread reminds me of a similar discussion people in my part of the country still have about Jews: how can you tell if somebody is Jewish. The noses, of course, but not always. Well they have certain gestures, or they act nervous and kind of hurt if you tell a Jewish joke, etc. Or just ask them and they'll tell you. Maybe you just can't. Maybe it's a dumb question. Maybe the question says more about the asker than the subject. Next question: How can you tell if somebody is a bigot or a homophobe?

 

Couldn't agree more

 

Considering the fact that I sing in the curch choir, always wear a silver cross around my neck, and my usual outfit consists of a blue, hard ironed (pun?) shirt, shuffed into my black jeans, and wearing black Italian shoes and a long, black cottoncoat, and that people usually guess I'm Conservative (despite me being a Socialist) i would have to say no.

 

I know when someone pulls out their dick and i drop to my knees and stuck it until he chums and i swallow it, that I'm gay.

 

Her fingernails