How can you find out if somebody's gay/bi/curious?

Discussion in 'Coming Out and Confused!' started by Seru, Jan 8, 2005.

  1. Seru

    Seru Member

    Well yesterday my friend slept round, his bed was near mine. I consider myself bi-curious so i was desperate to have some fun, suck him off etc but he's a good friend and i'm worried about losing my friendship. is there any way to find out if somebody's curious? anything i should be looking out for??
  2. Borgy

    Borgy Member

    Well as you already said his a good friend of yours and if you start to bother him in a sexual way, you know he could be bothered and feel uncomfortable with your sexual curiosity and as you said you could loss your friendship. So if you are really friends you should talk about it and maybe you'll find out that he has also curiosity. But if you don't want to talk cause you'r scared about what he can sayyou should kind of aproache and see his reaction towards it.

    But don't worry you are still very young and you have lots of time to experiment. "Don't Worry, Be happy"

    Besides if you come by to Madrid you know you have a friend in which you can rely on for anything.
  3. cerridwen

    cerridwen in stitches

    Call me old fashioned but I don't believe that sex should come in to play between friends... and if you're not sure if he's gay or curious, then maybe it's a sign to not 'be gay' with him... find someone who maybe is and go with them... things could get awkward between you and your friend if sex comes up in conversation...
  4. gertie

    gertie Senior Member

    sexual play is hard between friends, no matter what sexuality is known or unknown. it adds all sorts of complications.
  5. Grim

    Grim Wandering Wonderer

    Find out if someone is gay/bi?

    If you don't want to do the awkward and simple act, hire/find someone of the appropriate gender for the situation who is very attractive and have them hit on the person in question hardcore. :)
  6. SelfControl

    SelfControl Boned.

    Nice idea. Alternatively: get him drunk. Not to do it, just to talk to him about it. At least you'll find out how desperate he is for a blowjob.
  7. Snowdancer

    Snowdancer Member

    If you don't think you can just plain ask there is going to be a problem. You have to be able to communicate with friends & I think even more so with a friend that you are planning on having sex with. I know, you didn't say that you couldn't ask but that is what I read between the lines.

    I do like the idea of getting another person to suss it out for you but that could go a rye too. I have seen too many operas possibly but they could get attracted to each other then you would end up being unrequited.
  8. SkeeterVT

    SkeeterVT Member

    Find out how he carries himself. Is he a macho tough guy? Does he always talk about girls in an explicitly sexual way? Does he make homophobic put-downs of gay men? If the answer to any of these questions (especially the last one) is "yes," then back off.

    It's especially important for you to find out what his feelings and attitudes are about homosexuality BEFORE you drop any hints thast you're attracted to him. You could save yourself a lot of grief.

    -- Skeeter
  9. txbarefooter

    txbarefooter Senior Member

    I would hafta disagree with Skeeter about the "manly-man" act. Just because someone is macho talking doesn't always mean straight. It could be a diversionary tactit, but it does make sense to find out his feelings/attitudes about homosexuality. Maybe be channel surfing and come across Queer Eye or some such thing and see what he says/thinks.
  10. SelfControl

    SelfControl Boned.

    Sounds like me. Except the macho bit. :D
  11. Borgy

    Borgy Member

    Find out how he carries himself. Is he a macho tough guy? Does he always talk about girls in an explicitly sexual way? Does he make homophobic put-downs of gay men? If the answer to any of these questions (especially the last one) is "yes," then back off.

    I have to disagree with skeeter 'cause i'm a boy i'm 16 and i have accepeted the fact that i'm bi. The moment i told a friend of mine she wa shocked 'cause she said i always looked so tough guy and also 'cause i was all the time talking about girls in an explicitly sexual way!!!

    And look at me now i'm crazy bout boys!!!!

  12. SkeeterVT

    SkeeterVT Member

    You need to know, first and foremost, what your friend's attitude is toward gay or bisexual people BEFORE you do anything else. A good way to find out is to start, if you can, a conversation about the gay-marriage debate that's in the news.

    If your friend says he's cool with it, then you have to listen carefully to find out if he tells you what his own orientation is. Guys almost never fail to do so when commenting on the subject, whether pro or con.

    Depending on what your friend says, you could either have an opening or not. Watch out for whether the subject makes him uncomfortable. If it does, then back off.

    -- Skeeter
  13. SkeeterVT

    SkeeterVT Member

    I made that suggestion primarily because of the fact that Seru lives in the U.K. and I live in the U.S. Attitudes toward gay people vary from country to country. So do standards of masculinity. So I was being as culturally sensitive as I could under the circumatances.

    -- Skeeter
  14. SkeeterVT

    SkeeterVT Member

    Oh, shit! I forgot I already posted similarly-worded advice on this thread -- and I've found out too late that there's no way to delete it once you've posted it. So you can disregard the above message; it's redundant. My bad.

    -- Skeeter
  15. Burning_Spear

    Burning_Spear Member

    Just remember if you are drunk and do experiment there will be a verry awkward morning for your friend.
  16. syd

    syd Banned

    A similar thing happened with me and a friend of mine, we were both stoned and we both sucked each other off. But the only reason we were embarrased is that we both had girlfriends.....
  17. Bound96

    Bound96 Member

    Then they steal them from you...but then again if they are straight it doesn't matter... NO WAIT.. they could be Bi... I see that as a very bad idea lol...

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