I have never had a gay experience and I chat to women all the time so how will I know if someone is flirting with me. Men are obvious, I see it straight away. I wouldn't know what to look for in a woman unless they were obvious.
Hi, Justmeee! I'm sort of a mix of every kind of orientation, but here in southern Thailand it doesn't matter, since a large percentage of the population seems to be bisexual. You'll know a woman is flirting (or in love with) with you because of some or more or all (or none?) of the following behaviors; she will catch your eye and hold it before averting her eyes, might bat her eyelashes, admire you (may be disguised as liking your "outfit" and exclaiming over how it flatters your figure), her voice might change to a husky note, she might move her body slightly to show her curves. Women attracted to you will find ways to touch your arm, shoulder, if they are in your circle they will somehow know all about you, what you like, invite you to do something with them THAT YOU LIKE TO DO. They will close their body angles to you in an unconscious attempt to keep others away and seem angry if you make plans with someone else. Or stop talking to you if you do spend time with another girl. They always watch you walking past, can't pull their eyes away. Always seem to keep track of where you are, always ask what you've been doing, seem to remember everything you ever did. Every time you turn around, they're there. But of course, reactions depend on whether the girl in question is the aggressor or pursuer, the temperament, etc. Me, I think all women are beautiful.
I think women light up when they are attracted to someone-male or female. Eye response studies indicate most women show unconscious sexual attraction responses to all genders. Also, women can be gender orientation fluid, moving from one gender partner to another. Most males are born either straight, bi, or gay and don't change over time. I don't know what gender orientation I am, or even what gender, since I partially identify as male, although I'm a bio female. But only Americans seem to worry about it-Thai people express gender as they wish, and most Europeans I've met here seem androgynous.
Short of asking, or catching her Red-handed, ...... you can't! Maybe the odd Stone-butch is obvious, but the vast majority of gay women look and behave exactly the same as str8 gals. You may pick up hints/oblique suggestions along the way, but there really is only one sure way.
I hate guessing, it takes up too much of my mental time. So, I joke; I say, "I'm into women, I'm going to flirt with you. If you're not into it, cool, we can hang, but I'm still going to mess with you, cause it's what I do." They either say I'm not into girls, play coy and just laugh, say I'm into it, say nothing and walk away; say 'you need Jesus,'; get shy but more attentive, or they want to have a feminist conversations. LOL! There are so many different ways that this turns out, most of them are good and it leaves for a better relationship on whatever level. Just be honest.
If I'm lit up, chatting up a female, I'm flirting. But even if the woman is flattered by my attention and flirts back, it doesn't mean she's lesbian, since I am attracted to females myself, but consider myself pan/a sexual, so don't fit the lesbian female-only profile. Next time I'm in the US, I plan to visit a gay bar and tell someone sympathetic that I'm only curious, so if any smooching takes place it hopefully won't raise false expectations. I don't dare make ANY overtures in Thailand because it would be taken seriously. I can't kiss males (EEEW!!), and I could only kiss my hot "ex" if I imagined myself a male.
