How can I seduce an older man?

This 'cutesy'/vixen approach really doesn't fit me well. I think the appeal he might sense in me is more akin to a sadistic, hyper serious, or dominatrix-like vibe. I guess I'm trying to find a way to let him know what I want, without having to betray my nature or (preferably) face a strong rejection (therefore I need help in reading his behavior). Like I said in first post, I'm VERY inexperienced with humans in general. I've been isolated most of my teenage years and more alone than your average kid before that. It's only the last few months that I've been more actively involved with people, testing social skills and stuff.

 

LOL, I'm not going to criticize you on this one. Most girls think like this, nothing illogical about it I suppose. Just that this one always amuses me.

You are basically saying that for something long term it cant be with a guy too hot. And a big hello to all the guys out there in long term relationships


But back to the sexy janitor example. Whether its status as you say now, or money, or being more interested in anything about them other than them, they are not really going to believe its about a fling as you said in first post. If its about lust, you are going to try get him to run his hands up your thigh, or as others have said, stick your hand down his pants, not sit there and be extra interested in talking about his job

 

I think I'm torn between either doing the silly things that may be necessary to have him, or just doing what feels right and natural to me, and deeply risk facing rejection.

I have to try to sense which type he most likely is (typical normal man, or (imo) worthy man with a dark and weird aspect), and then decide under the scenarios that I'm torn between, with which I would feel most satisfied and content with afterwards. I'm still wrestling over whether afterwards I'd regret having 'sold my soul' (manipulating my behavior in a way so false to me, just to get him). I think the whole experience probably wouldn't be worth it to me unless he somewhat fits my fantasies and is seduced by me behaving true to my nature.

 

I don't understand what you mean by the second sentence, but yes, one of my "qualifiers" I've decided in my head is that in a context of a serious relationship, he could not be too attractive to the majority of society, unless he had some other features (not necessarily lookswise) that offset his good looks and made him less attractive (to the Majority). This would be to protect myself and simplify things.

I don't think his status is the same as the Power he has. I'm generally attracted to lower status guys (people having high status tends to mean they have qualities and priorities that turn me off), but ones with a high level of Power (intelligence, skills, ability to physically attack/defend). I used the term "authority figure" not to denote that his "authority" is what wholly attracted me to him (though it's a part of it for sexual/fetish reasons), but because I couldn't think of another synonym that wouldn't give away his exact position, just to be extra safe for privacy's sake.

What do you mean by, he won't believe it is about a fling? He will be thinking I have an ulterior motive, and be suspicious and thus reluctant? A good way to allow him to see the situation for what it is, then, would be to approach things using my true intuition for how to act, instead of modifying my behavior to follow the "cutesy vixen young girl" archetype that could otherwise give me the greatest likelihood of convincing him (just looking at things statistic wise of what men would be attracted to...I don't know him well enough personally to gauge if this is true or not, but so far, based on his possibly showing attraction to me while seeing me being very much myself and odd, he might (..hopefully)...be different). Actually, that's a large part of what attracted me to him..it seemed like he could be a weirdo, with a possibility of being the sort I'm seeking, and not just a typical man.

 

Typical men aren't worthy of a fling with you. Like VG said, he's not going to believe it's just a fling you want. And I don't either.

So, being true to your nature is basically deferring the risk of rejection to him? What's so silly about going, "I find you attractive and I'd like to spend the night with you" ?

Or, better yet, "You're so hot, baby. Let me suck your cock."

 

What do you mean by this?

I'm 29 and I seduced a 45 year old man just the other day. Just sat next to him, made small talk, and asked if I could go to his place. The only reason we didn't have sex is because we didn't have any condoms, but we did everything else. We're meeting up again tomorrow.

Unfortunately he's smitten and wants to be serious with me. Now I don't know how to get rid of him. So be upfront from the get go and ask him what he wants, then when he asks you want you want, tell him you just want a fling.

 

By "true to my nature", I mean approaching everything genuinely and as myself, and not play-acting to manipulate him into getting my way. I guess that does mean letting him have the greatest risk of rejection. I'm pretty passive in social situations and shy and thus far have been expecting him to mostly initiate things if this is going to happen, but I'm entertaining the idea of being more bold and forthright if I can decide on the perfect approach in advance. That's basically what my whole posting here is all about. I mean, if I'm not more pro active in showing my intention, probably nothing will happen. For my own personal growth I need to demonstrate myself that I have the power to change my surroundings and guide the situations I'm in (yet another reason I want to do this)

So then what is it you believe he will assume my ulterior motive is?? He knows I am moving states away quite soon (which is why I have a set date that I have to be successful by...about 2 weeks, at the latest, from now). This, I believe, gives me another edge- looking at the entire scenario from both our perspectives, it has the possibility of being a perfect set up.

Maybe there isn't anything silly about speaking frankly and arranging things, but in all the fantasies I've had things are not so formal and 'boring' (can't think of the right word for what I mean). It's more of a animalistic or metaphysical sensing things/going on our instincts, and that's part of what makes it so appealing. Like being drawn on a spiritual level to each others sadistic desires. Maybe what I'm imagining just isn't practical/realistic.

Part of me doesn't care if he's more on the "normal" side, because maybe then I could 'corrupt' him...and that could be a draw to him too. A weird, young girl introducing an older guy, kinda repressed and square (think American Beauty's Lester), to his yet untapped darkness and defiling him. This is going to be pure fantasy with most men, but there is a possibility it could become a reality with the right person, and if I sense that this man might be a good candidate (and I do a bit, which is partly why I am attracted to him...), then why not attempt it?? The likelihood of my fantasy coming true is 0 if I never try.

 

Yes, I definitely would make that clear, and he is already aware I'm moving far away very soon, so it being a fling would already be in his head as a factor.

Just curious, what kind of environment were you when you spoke with the 45 year old man? Did you seem to be very similar types of people, or like you would be graded by others as being in the same league?

 

I too don't understand what you mean by this.

 

That's what she said, not me.

 

I'm sorry, I couldn't go any further. If you don't see the contradiction in this, good luck to you.

I had nothing better to do ATM, so I read the remainder of your post. Obviously, you and I have diametrically opposed ideas about what's boring.

Metaphysics? Spiritual? And this is supposed to be a fling? Instant rubbery one. Those words mean absolutely nothing to me. I prefer words like '****' and 'twat.'

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There's nothing more exciting to me than a woman who verbalizes exactly what she desires (and is brave enough to take that risk). The lewder the better. My cock jumps up instantly. I think it's actually a tie with a woman who just grabs my cock unnanounced.

As soon as a girl starts the small-talk, twirling the hair, standing too close, acting bored, making those parody porn faces, and innuendo bullshit, I put my hands in my pockets looking for the cellphone and someone to call and start backpedalling. "Excuse me, I have to make a call."

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Edit: Oh, I forgot the nagging! Some chicks actually think they can nag me or silent-treatment me into bed.

 

Every human makes a decision, whether conscious or not, in their level of genuineness [as I termed it here- following our higher, integrated selves opposed to our emotional, base, illogical pulls] of their approach (to any circumstance). I am just aware of this fact, and consciously making the decision that will, by my judgment, seemingly end in the most desirable outcome. Every action we make is a scheme- the only differentiation is that the path which society terms having malevolent purpose, we will term a "scheme". It's just our nature, as opportunistic and logical creatures capable of seeing possible outcomes and, to the best of our ability, directing our fates towards the most desirable outcomes. It's part of the advantage of being a human.

 

I appreciate this insight to a man's perspective.
As for your 2 described approaches, there is definitely middleground, or other-ground. Neither of those sounds especially appealing to me (both in how I would want to be approached, and in how I would want to do the approaching). I think this is just personal taste here. There is a smaller section of men whose ideal is a serious, no-teasing approach, but instead of being lewd, being kind of mysterious, ultra serious, a sinister vibe, but not pretentious. (I wish I had the gift with words to describe exactly how I mean). I just need to stumble upon the right guy.

 

Again, all of this screams 'marriage!' rather than 'fling!' to me. But, good luck. I said all I had to say on the topic, I believe.

 

When I read (reed, not red) this, I understand you as apart of the "normal" spectrum, regardless of your sexual tastes, fetishes, etc. I'm stating this to help me, as challenged as I am when it comes to putting my thoughts to words, paint a better picture of what I mean when I use the words "weird" "typical, normal man" etc. I am positive men like what I seek exist, but they are rare. I am rare myself. So if I am unable to currently find the rarity, perhaps I can 'corrupt' a man who I have respect and esteem for, to superficially fit the mold of my fantasy, for reasons of personal growth and mutual pleasure.

 

I do appreciate all your responses. I like seeing a man's perspective and it's helping me make my own thoughts more concrete and decide what approach to take to seducing him. So far, it's awakened the sense of pride in me that won't allow myself to try to play-act in order to get him.

I'm not interested in marriage, ever. I don't believe a fling cannot be spiritual and profound.
I probably should have put more thought into what term I use, rather than "fling" which definitely carries certain connotations, most of which don't apply to what I seek.

 

Maybe you should read the whole comment again so you can take into account the content- = A personal opinion of attractiveness

 

evidence that the whole game playing thing is innate in females.

 

How is what I said evidence for females playing games? (here you are bitterly insinuating dishonesty and teasing). By testing social skills, I mean this in a very broad way, in a variety of spectrums, mostly functional (as I'm largely disinterested in personal relationships unless under very specific terms)..from getting a job featuring clients, co-workers, and an employer...to having exchanges with people in public spheres like libraries and the grocery store. I was a virtual hermit and didn't understand how humans typically interact with each other and how to associate with humans, more or less.

Currently, regarding this older man, this is the first time I've considered engaging in a voluntary personal relationship (sexual, friendship, fling, partnership- any sort).

 

(T'was a tongue in cheek comment of the thought that a younger female was seeking attention from a more mature male - but, you weren't - hence my disappointment)

I (as an olde male) would prefer a straight up honest approach - though people are different - I think the key is to get to know the person and once their preference of personality is - once you have that, then go with what your Heart tells you -(for the head will slow you down)