Housewives' Club

yeah we've had the sahm convo before around here, i think this thread was directed more to housewives/homemakers - particularly when there are no kids around.

 

I was purely talking about women without kids. I respect stay at home moms but I don't have a lot of respect for women who just stay at home and do nothing. I mean seriously what in the world would you do all day long? I would be bored out of my mind and would feel pretty silly.

 

oh yeah i knew you were, i meant that other person.. i think it was sqawkers?

 

Funny I have no desire to ever end my career but two things I refuse to do and will be insulted if asked are mowing the lawn and taking out the trash.

 

What is so insulting about mowing the lawn? Even tho I was born with a heart defect & had other medical problems I'm glad I was still born with the ability to take out my own trash.

 

oh my i think this thread is going off topic

 

OK, if I needed a short time to re-think my life (maybe a year...tops) I might enjoy being a housewife without kids.
What to do...volunteer, take classes, go to a gym, start new hobbies, redecorate the house. & mow the lawn and take out the trash.
But only if I "wanted" to stay home...it wouldn't work if a guy tried forcing ya to stay home cuz he would get jealous of your co-workers or just cuz his ego wouldn't like it if ya got paid more then him.

 

I never really thought it would bother me as I was never asked to do it before by a guy but for some reason it erked me to no end. there's just things girls don't do. i don't know?

 

LOL, sorry, that has got to be the funniest thing i've ever heard

 

that's exactly what i'm saying why is it automatic that just because your a chick you get to stay home and sit on your ass and why would anyone want to? If you don't have kids both partners should benefit and get to work less hours if it's feasible and they want to. I don't know taking community college classes and doing crafts all day wtf? I'll never pick up the dinner check and i won't mow the lawn, but I won't make projects out of craft sticks and eat ice cream all day either.

 

in 2000-2002 I worked 12-hr graveyard shifts 3-4 nights a week. The 4th night depended on what was going on for the week. If we needed something I worked the 4th night for extra money, if we wanted to go somewhere I didn't work the extra night.
My ex got a small VA disability and didn't have to work for part of that time...which was ok, cuz he has more patience to be with all the kids more often then I do.

 

but you HAVE kids I think that's great that you're a stay at home mom, commendable and the most important job out there. I am specifically talking about women who do not have kids.

 

It all comes down to personal choice. If the woman is happy staying home, why should it bother anyone? As long as her husband isn't holding her hostage, she has the right to choose to work or stay home. Isn't THAT what feminism is REALLY about? Having the right to CHOOSE?

 

I agree, sugmag. My MIL really enjoys her home. She paints and does bowling ect.

As for dudes who stay home, it depends on the situation. Dudes who stay home and watch TV and drink beer, while the kids are in daycare, and the mama is working her ass off (for much less than he could make, if he was working) is one thing. But I know some artist couples who do well.

My dad is retired, he paints and writes, and "lunches" with his freinds, and his wife works outside the home. Their children are grown, I guess because he is "retired" is is OK, but I think if he could have, financially, he would have stayed home before.

Also we have to keep in mind that if ONE person is going to be able to support the family, in our finacial area, it will probably be the man. Men make more than womyn in most careers, so if ONE income can do it, it will probably be the dude.

 

I know a few home makers with out kids, and trust me, they don't sit around eating ice cream and watching soaps all day. Most of them are farm wives. They work hard and long hours, feeding and watering the animals, working in the garden, canning, baking, and cooking from scratch, cleaning and doing laundry...the list goes on and on. What is so wrong with that? A lot of homemakers work just as hard as women who work outside the home. The few I know who aren't farm wives vollunteer and/or have home based businesses. I'm a SAHM who homeschools, and when my daughter is grown I'll probably still stay home. I have too much to do here!

 

If I were a housewife of no children I would probably volunteer some of my time to local things in the community and I would take a lot of schooling and do way more art

 

Compared to the workforce, well at least my job as an accountant for the past 17 years, I would trade it in a minute to get back to the land. If we for some reason did not farm, I would love to take care of my home full time and do all the things I want to do such as volunteer more time to various organizations, have the time to really devote to my passions such as music, crafting and astrology. After a grueling, long work week it's exhausting to spend your precious weekend cleaning house and have no time for your passions.
Just my two cents.

 

What I don't understand is why the world assumes that a woman who stays home but doesn't have children automatically has tons of free time to do whatever she wants.

I am a housewife without children, and although I am going back to school in a week full time, up until now I haven't been able to keep a job in 4 years or so due to illnesses. But I didn't have tons of freetime that seems to be associated with a childless housewife. Given, I was sick a lot of that time and it took a ton of effort to do what most "normal" people could do easily, (and still does sometimes), but even if I hadn't been sick I am sure that everything I did to keep up the house still would have taken up a considerable part of the day. As it is now, I spend 3 hours every morning doing the same daily tasks to keep the house in shape, then another 5 hours spread out through the rest of the day doing more cleaning, cooking, caring for dogs or hubby, running errands, or helping others out. I only really get a total of maybe 2 hours a day, 3 if I'm lazy that day, to myself... that includes taking care of myself too, baths, feeding, medicine, yoga/mediation, spiritual, etc, not just recreation. I get about 1 hour a day of pure recreation time, and to be honest I don't really actually get to enjoy it because I am too busy thinking about what all I still need to do. The list of things to do never ends. Freetime? PPPFFFFFTTTTT! I do so much work around here, I know for a fact that if I worked an outside "paying job", this place would fall in shambles, and not just because of my health problems and the job draining me either.

Now that I am going to school full-time again, I am concerned about how I am going to handle it all, becuase I felt like I worked a full time job keeping things under control at the house as it was... I see it as a full time job becuase someone has to do the dirty work around here and since hubby works a hard job and is tired when he gets home, it has to be me, and it is actually hard work for me. Maybe just because I am not of the best health, but still, even if I was a healthy normal person, I'd only have maybe a couple of extra hours a day. I know that when I took a couple of classes here and there during the past 4 years, there were many days where I was actually studying and doing housework at the same time... Yes, I actually pushed a vacuum in one hand while holding memorization terms in the other and trying to memorize. I'll probably be doing a lot of that again, becuase of lack of said "freetime".

Do I mind? Not really. I actually find it very satisfying to be able to do the things I do despite my health problems, and yes I do get satisfaction from knowing that the house is a decent place to be mostly due to my efforts. I enjoy housework, I only wish I felt better physically.

My whole point is, I am incredulous when I hear someone say that childless housewives eat ice cream and watch soaps all day long, because that just doesn't seem possible to me, and even more incredulous (and sad) when I hear of a childless housewife that DOES do this. But in my opinion, those kind of women aren't really housewives. They are "princesses" or "divas" (not an endearing term!) They are wasting precious time of their lives away! They are taking away a lot of potential "quality of life" boosters they could contribute, both from themselves and those around them. I would be willing to bet money on the fact that "ice cream and soap opera" housewives don't have happy lives... I bet their houses are a mess unless they are rich enough to afford maids, I bet they have a lot of character deficits due to having it too "easy", etc etc. I see the ice cream as a temporary depression lifter, and the soap operas a desperate attempt to fill the emptiness of their lives and lack of met needs.

This long post in a nutshell: REAL housekeeping IS a job, when done right.