Housewives' Club

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by kat2000, Jan 3, 2005.

  1. kat2000

    kat2000 Member

    Your husband's career is stable and tells you that you can be a housewife. Would you hesitate on that?
    What do housewives do at home?
    Especially if you have no children and he is willing to support you financially without questioning or concerns.
    Is being a "housewife" shamefull? Since you can fully function and able to work. Would you take the role of a housewife knowing that you can and that your husband even wants you too?
     
  2. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

    I would go nuts if I didn't work when I didn't I voluntered my time and took a lot of classes, if you don't have kids than what's the point of being a house wife? husbands don't need mommies kids do so it seems like there would be no reason to stay home.
     
  3. whispers

    whispers sweet and sour

    a womens place is in the home.................nakid





    (warning-comments made by this user should not be take seriously ..... or they could be its up to you)
     
  4. sugrmag

    sugrmag Uber Nerd

    As long as the couple is cool with it, I don't see a problem. I would LOVE to be able to be home all day...then again, I have two young children.
     
  5. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

    What do you care if a womyn decides to stay home and take care of her kids and or her home? How does it offend you? Is making money the only value people have in your world? It sure isn't in mine.

    And the word is HOMEMAKER, no one is "married" to a house.

    There is no shame and a lot of pleasure involved in taking care of a home and all who reside in it.

    And taking care of children and a home IS "work." Why do some people put so much fucking weight on MONEY? Can't people do what they enjoy, even if they aren't bringing in the bacon? I don't feel the only worth a person has is the amount they put on their Income Tax form every year. There is a LOT people can do with their lives that doesn't bring in money. If they can, more power to them. Why do you think only MONEY determines worth? Or are you jealous of people who get to ENJOY their homes by being in it during the daylight hours? How does it offend or bother you if some womyn (or men) do this?
     
  6. RyvreWillow

    RyvreWillow Member

    Hmm...i've been a SAHM all of my adult life, so i'm kinda biased, hehe.

    Being a mom, i often wonder what homemakers without kids (or with kids in school all day) do with their time. I guess you would have the time for a kick-ass garden, or something else constructive. And it would be nice to actually have time to clean the house :) nah, i wouldn't be against it. It certainly isn't "normal" but as long as you're accomplishing something, and you can afford to do it, why not?
     
  7. tigerlily

    tigerlily proud mama

    i would definitely not work if it was an option :) i could do so much.. read, paint, cook, volunteer somwhere, take classes: finally learn how to build furniture, and other things i would like to do :p i wish i didn't have to work now hehe.. but my job isn't too bad i guess. hopefully i can get a more enjoyable one after I graduate.


    edit-- oh yeah, and i could sleep in and be lazy too
     
  8. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

    no I wasn't at all saying that I am just saying why stay home if you don't have kids? there seems to be no point unless you were like way unskilled and you didn't have a passion for what you did and the money was insignificant compared to your partners, but still wouldn't you want to go to school or something? I am not talking about stay at home moms I am talking about house wifes-big difference.
     
  9. ihmurria

    ihmurria fini

    Personally, I'd still wanna work at least part-time. I like having a little independence, and I'd feel guilty if only the guy I was with was working (particlarly since I don't plan on having kids, which are a fulltime job to take care of). I suck at keeping the house clean.... I'd probably jsut end up hanging out on my computer all day like I do when I have the rare day off from work and school (like today, mmm.... 6 hours of hte sims2 makes me happy). But that's just me!
     
  10. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

    Why does only going to school or making money define a credible existance? (Or it is "OK" if you are "way unskilled?") Some womyn enjoy being home, if it works for their family, so what? Not everyone would be happy in that position, but who are we to question what makes some families happy? I have NO problem with stay at homes. My MIL has been at home almost all of her adult life (I think she had a part time job sometime in the 70s for a few months) she isn't a worthless person, she enjoys her home, she paints, she likes taking care of her dh and her garden. She hasn't been to school since she graduated HS in the 1940s. Who cares? It makes her and my FIL happy. She is hurting no one, and I don't ascribe "worth" to how much money an individual brings in. They are a happy couple.

    Personally, I would do some volunteer work, or get some more schooling, but I am not her, and she, and womyn like her, do well at what they enjoy. Why would any of us have a problem with it?
     
  11. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

    I just think that as women we should do everything in our power to advance ourselves as a gender.I've been in a relationship where I didn't work and I don't ever want to do it again, it's weird for me I don't like it I feel powerless adn get depressed ect. I do not believe in equality in marraiges it fucks things up imo but at the same time I would def prefer to be self sufficient enough to have independence if I chose it adn I am not speaking about finanaces I am talking about having other interests outside the home. Like I said when you have kids that should be your number one priority and if you can manage a carreer at the same time great but if you can't than your kids should come first. But to not work when you don't have kids seems a little odd to me.
     
  12. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

    I guess it is up to each womyn individually. If I had my drothers, we would "advance ourselves as a gender" by not allowing ourselves to be objectified in the media (ie Brittney Spears, most "Reality Shows" skankily dressed models ect. I thnk this would do more to advance the gender than worrying about some womyn who enjoy being in, and taking care of their home. No way on earth you will convince people like my MIL otherwise, and she is happy and fullfilled.

    I DO see what you are talking about, lynsey. The kind of "we all need to work on this to be taken seriously." Idea. But, feminists have tried to get this going for decades, and if it worked, people like Brittney and Paris Hilton and EVERY SINGLE swimsuit model or Victoria Secret model would't have a career. But in the scope of things, at least in my opinion, being a sex object is a LOT more offensive and devisive to "The Cause" than HomeMakers. JMO, though.
     
  13. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

    Do you mean marraige in general, or just for yourself? I am kinda confused, if you mean that "equality" is impossible in a marraige, or if it is just wouldn't work for most couples. I mean MOST relationships have one person who is more dominant than the other, freindships ect. I don't think marraige is any different. It is not always the man who is the more dominant person in the relationship.
     
  14. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

    For myself, I have a hard time making decisions. But at the same time if I don't have a say in things I get pissed. I just know that if I ever had a truely equal relationship it wouldn't work. It's weird because in every other aspect of my life I am the dominant person in most everything, maybe that's why I don't like it in a relationship because I have to be in control all the time at work which equals a lot of stress and uncomftrableness for me so I like to have no worries when i'm with someone adn I am willing to give up power to feel like I am emotionally taken care of.
     
  15. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

    I don't have any beef with swimsuit models or the victoria secret catalog because they are honsetly showing clothing-it certainly doesn't represent what I look like heh but none the less it serves a purpose. I do have an issue when women are portrayed as sexual objects on tv while their male counterparts are recognized for their abilities. At the same time I humbily admit that I flirt to get ahead. During my interviews for the job I have now I totally charmed my boss and I continue to do so because I know it will get me what I want make my life easier ect and when my larger boss travels to see me I coninuously stroke his ego because he has the power to advance me, last time I complemented him on the pin he was wearing and he took it off and gave it to me. So the same thing I hate about being a woman sometimes I definitley know how to use to my advantage and I know I shouldn't but I still do. It's a mans world but I am certainly capable of being charming enough to suceed in it.
     
  16. superNova

    superNova Member

    makes me wonder what people would say if a husband just wanted to stay home and paint and have a garden and take classes at the community college ;)

    i want to live to my full potential, and for me, that isn't staying at home.
     
  17. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

    exactly it's a huge double standard. I would not like to be at home wihtout kids, I would want to be with somone who respected me enough not to encourage that and I certainly would never be with someone who just wanted to stay home. If you have kids it's diffferent if your jobs aren't flexible than one person should stay home-either partner but for me I don't know I'm a little more traditional that way where I think no matter how wrong it is I would lose respect for a guy if he wanted to be a stay at home parent. I know that's a horrible way to think but I think it would cause major problems, if you don't let a guy feel like he's the provider even if you are making an equal amount of money I think it hurts their pride a bit.
     
  18. squawkers7

    squawkers7 radical rebel

    I used to love mowing the lawn. My ex & the kids would sometimes be playing frisbee or some other outdoor activity while I did it. We had a couple neighbors that complained that "the little lady" had to work while "the old man" was playing. I enjoyed mowing the lawn and didn't consider it a chore. My daughter has learned to use the chainsaw and now gets excited cuz she can do it herself. As long as you enjoy what your doing then who care what others think?

    There were times when I enjoyed not having a paying job as it allowed me to volunteer at the elementary school, and stay home doing crafts. But when I wanted more then I sorta whined till I got a job..well one that paid.
    Being a mother is a 24-hr job,365 days a year.There's no paycheck to cash but ya get all the hugs & goofy grins & sticky kisses that ya can handle
     
  19. superNova

    superNova Member

    you know, that is definitely one very valid way to look at life. i guess i just look at my life as being important in more ways than just to myself and those people immediately around me. i have certain talents and abilities, and since they were given to me, i should use them. everyone should use theirs, in my opinion, as part of your duty to society. while that doesn't mitigate the importance of the people close to you, i think it does have a definite impact that should not be ignored.
     
  20. squawkers7

    squawkers7 radical rebel

    If anyone was given the great gift (having kids) then they should also enjoy being with them instead of dropping them off at the sitters or daycare. Part of your duty should be to make sure that if you're adding to the world's population that ya make sure that your addition (your kids) will grow up to be a happy people knowing they can grow up and be whatever they want.
    I've worked in the school system as a volunteer and also as a paid substitute teacher.
    I've seen & heard lots of students complain about their parents not having time for something they wanted to do, or conference time parents would say that they had no idea what classes their own kids had & they thought I was the regular school teacher.
    I'm not saying that a working mom is bad or good & I'm not saying a stay-at-home mom is better or worse. I would probably be the first to admit that I would go nuts if I had to stay home till all my kids turned 18.
     

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