"Miss Botz." "Miss Botz! Good Lord. What have those little hellions done now? We're so sorry, we're so sorry." "Please turn off the TV." "I can't tell you how chagrined we are about all of this." "[Later, carrying Botz' bags, full of the Simpsons' possessions she stole] Oh, these things are heavy. Just so there's no hard feelings, here's double your pay. No, triple." "Thank you. Mr. Sampson, can I give you a bit of advice?" "Sure." "Don't turn your back on that boy for a second!" -Some Enchanted Evening, Marge and Homer Simpson, and Lucille "Botz" Botzcowski, Season 1, Episode 13, Original air date: May 13, 1990. "You didn't see?" "A millionaire! [mumbles under breath:] I kept the wrong one. I'll come as soon as I can leave here. In the meantime, please don't do anything stupid!" -Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? Homer and Grandpa Simpson, Season 2, Episode 15, Original air date: February 21, 1991. "Bye, Unky Herb." "Goodbye, Herb." "Because of me, you lost your business, your home and all your possessions. Maybe you'd have been better off if I'd never come into your life." "Maybe I'd have been better off? Maybe?? You sponge-head, of course I'd have been better off! As far as I'm concerned, I have no brother." "[Marge, later in the car] Maybe he said that to make conversation." -Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? Bart, Marge and Homer Simpson, and Herb Powell, Season 2, Episode 15, Original air date: February 21, 1991. "I'm here! Where's that millionaire chip off the old block I call sonny?" "Get in, Dad. I'll explain on the way home." "I knew you'd blow it!" -Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? Grandpa and Homer Simpson, Season 2, Episode 15, Original air date: February 21, 1991. "Now, I know I haven't been the best Christian. In fact, when you're up there 'blah, blah, blah-ing', I'm usually doodling or mentally undressing the female parishioners... Well, anyhoo, can I have $40,000?" "[later] Now, I know I haven't been the best Jew. But I rented Fiddler on the Roof, and I will watch it. Anyway, can I have $40,000?" "...Hmm?" "[talking to Surdrudinma Baradad now] Now, I know I haven't been the best—Oh, forget it." -Homer's Triple Bypass, Rev. Lovejoy, Rabbi Krustofsky and Surdrudinma Baradad, Season 4, Episode 11, Original air date: December 17, 1992. "Now, before we give you health insurance, I have to ask you a few questions." "Questions? Questions?? Oh! My whole scheme down the—I mean, ask away..." "Oh, good. Now, under 'heart attacks', you crossed out '3' and wrote 'zero'." "Oh, I thought that said 'brain hemorrhages'." "Uh-huh." -Homer's Triple Bypass, Clerk and Homer Simpson, Season 4, Episode 11, Original air date: December 17, 1992. "Look, everyone. Now that I'm a teacher, I've sewed patches on my elbows." "Homer, that's supposed to be leather patches on a tweed blazer, not the other way around. You've ruined a perfectly good jacket!" "[holds up jacket] Ah, incorrect, Marge. Two perfectly good jackets..." -Secrets of a Successful Marriage, Homer and Marge Simpson, Season 5, Episode 22, Original air date: May 19, 1994. "You're a pin monkey? Wow! Finally, I don't have to be ashamed of my father's job." "It's romantic. Throwing off the shackles of the workaday world and following a dream... of sorts." "I don't know if it's such a good idea. Can we get by on a pin monkey's salary?" "Don't worry, Marge. I've come up with a perfectly balanced budget. There will be exactly enough money for you, me, Bart and Lisa if we make a few small sacrifices. From now on, we use regular toilet paper, not that fancy quilted kind. And only one of you kids can go to college." "Fine." "Fine..." -And Maggie Makes Three, Bart, Lisa, Marge and Homer Simpson, Season 6, Episode 13, Original air date: January 22, 1995. "Sweet, trusting Marge, I can't let you down. I'll get some money somehow. Hello, Vegas? Give me a hundred bucks on red. All right. I'll send you a check." -Homer vs. Patty and Selma, Homer Simpson, Season 6, Episode 17, Original air date: February 26, 1995. "Did you borrow money from my sisters?" "I don't know, Marge. I can't keep track of all my wheelings and dealings." "He blew your savings on jack-o'-lanterns." "You told! Sorry, Marge. [tosses Patty and Selma out of the house] I never want to see you again! You either." "Homer. Homer, why didn't you tell me?" "I was ashamed, Marge. I failed you as a husband and a provider. And at best, I was a B-plus dog. I'll understand if you wanna sleep on the couch tonight." -Homer vs. Patty and Selma, Marge and Homer Simpson and Patty Bouvier, Season 6, Episode 17, Original air date: February 26, 1995. "Maybe you could get someone with money to sponsor your team, like Mr. Burns." "Burns never gives money to anybody. Just last week, I asked him for $1,500." "For what?" "Oh, I gotta get the third degree from you too!" -Team Homer, Marge and Homer Simpson, Season 7, Episode 12, Original air date: January 7, 1996. "Ah, not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm." "That's specious reasoning, Dad." "Thank you, honey." "By your logic, I could claim this rock keeps tigers away." "Oh, how does it work?" "It doesn't work!" "Uh-huh." "It's just a stupid rock." "Uh-huh." "But I don't see any tigers around here, do you?" "Lisa, I want to buy your rock..." -Much Apu About Nothing, Homer and Lisa Simpson. Season 7, Episode 23, Original air date: May 5, 1996. "See, Marge? Who needs a car wash when you can just drive around in the rain?" -Treehouse of Horror VII ("The Thing and I"), Season 8, Episode 1, Original air date: October 27, 1996. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and this casino to join—" "Homer." "Homer. And—" "Marge." "Marge. In holy matrimony. By the power vested in me by the State Gaming Commission, I pronounce you man and wife. Here's $10 worth of chips. You may kiss the bride." "[Homer, later] See? You don't have to spend a lot of money to have a first-class wedding reception." "It's getting less and less likely you're going to yell 'surprise' and have all my friends jump out." "'Levis'? Hey, you think that truck is full of jeans?" -A Milhouse Divided, Casino minister, Homer and Marge Simpson, Season 8, Episode 6, Original air date: December 1, 1996. "Please—Please! We're only $10,000 away from returning to our show." "Well, why didn't you say so? Yes, I'd like to pledge $10,000... to get them to shut up. From... 'anonymous'. Done and done." "Dad, you don't have $10,000." "Aw, how they gonna find me?" "Folks, we just reached our goal of $10,700. And it's all thanks to one generous caller who didn't leave his name... But thanks to Insta-Trace, we've learned it's 'Homer Simpson of 742 Evergreen Terrace'." "Why did I register with Insta-Trace!" -Missionary Impossible, Betty White, Homer and Bart Simpson, Season 11, Episode 15, Original air date: February 20, 2000.
