~HOMEMAKERS~ Has it EVOLVED????

That's a good point.

 

and if you don't use the proper stuff to kill bacteria in the bathroom, don't clean around the base of the toilet, and behind it, too, it's a breeding ground of nastiness. if you don't rinse the tub properly aftger scrubbing it, the next person getting in will have a nice chemical bath on a slippery floor. so many little things that have to be done.

 

what i'm trying to get at is this: why does it have to be that way, when i get the exact outcome the way i do it. why does there have to be control over the way things are cleaned? as long as tthe OUTCOME is the same (i can understand if the way i did it was shitty and subpar and things didn't get cleaned, but its not), then why is the need to do things a certain why if the way i do it works too. i dont' go around saying things need to be done this way or that way ...as long as the cleaning gets done, i could give a rats ass the way it was done

 

why do you feel the need to assert your way in your mother's home? why do you resent her "power trip?" it's her house. why does it matter. why is the first thing you say on this whole topic about "power tripping bitches" driving you away from earning your place?

 

we have plenty of cleaning cloths, so i do grab one that is used for cleaning. and i dont' blend chemcals...

i use the same things my mom and dad use to clean the bathroom...i just go about it differently than they do. my point is, i clean differently than they do, but the job still gets done...this isn't about what i use to clean, its abotu how i clean...

 

because it is a power trip...the dishes got cleaned in that example....i'm an adult - i dont' need to be power tripped on because i dont' clean exactly like someone else. my way works just as your way works.

as long as the job gets done, i see no big deal.

and i don't know why you are making it seem like i resent my mother, because thats the farthest thing from the truth

 

i guess the "power trippin bitches" comment really shocked me. if that doesn't sound like resentment, i don't know WHAT does.

 

i never once said "power trippin bitches" - i have more class than that

i referred to being bitched at as a power trip...because it is a power trip. i got the dishes cleaned, nothing broke, no residue leftover.

my question after that was why is it such a big deal to clean one way if i'm comfortable doing it the way i do it and get the exact same OUTCOME (being clean dishes)

 

You're not an adult right now. I am not an adult right now because I am not capable of financially supporting myself or paying rent for living here (despite the fact that I did for a very long time). My mom sees me and respects me as an adult because I take care of everything that doesn't have to do with money, schedule her appoitments etc. If she wants something done her way I don't ask. She's my mother. I was an 11 pound baby she had to push out of her. If I was married and not working it would be different, but I am living in reality knowing it wouldn't be that much different and I will be satisfied with just being able to keep the glasses right side up in the cuboard. If people are sacrficing for me I am going to do my best to scarifice for them-especially concerning my family.
I think it makes you less of an adult if you don't realize that you really do need to do things her way because it's her house and you're not grateful for everything they do for you-and they do a lot for you.
I don't know very many parents like ours who would be okay with our failed classes, not working and helping us financially. So I want to be like not many daughters and make sure I am respectful and that the house is cleaned the way I know my mom would want it and that the dogs come home from the groomers with stupid bows.
I am blessed and part of being an adult is showing extreme appreciation for the people who have givien me those blessings-no matter how trivial their requests seem to me because obviously if they're making a big deal about it it's not trivial to them.
You and your mom are not equals. Me and my mom are not equals. The more I realize that and act like I acknowledge that the more I get treated as an equal. I don't think she has has to ask me to do anything at all since I quit working though. I make sure it gets done-her way.

 

i do realize the situation i am in right now...

i'm saying that the OUTCOME of my cleaning around the house is the exact same as if my parents cleaned...its the SAME...the only difference is the way i go about the cleaning, it still gets done, just different than my parents do it. the dishes get cleaned...the carpet gets vaccummed and washed, kitchen floor gets swept/mopped...its not as if i dont' do anything...i do clean. 99% of the time, my parents don't see the way i clean because they are at work, but on the day they saw the dishwasher was that 1%...the outcome was the same though. if they didn't see the dishwaser, all they would know is that i loaded the dishwasher and turned it on and the dishes got cleaned...

my whole case is why should it matter the way i clean if i'm getting the same outcome of a clean house - they usually dont see me clean. i'm not taking the mail and important files and going *hmm, maybe i should put this in the back of this cabinent with all the other useless crap we have in there* - its the same outcome my parents get.

i dont' know why i'm being seen as ungrateful or non-appreciative. i could be a total asshole and not do anything like a lot of other guys do. but i do housework, i do fix things around the house...i do it the way i feel most comfortable doing it...nevertheless, the job gets done to the same level as if my parents did the job.

 

I think we were just raised very differently

 

heres what it sounds like to me

fitzy is saying, if the destination is D, why cant i go B - C - A - D when my parenst normally go A - B - C - D, as long as we end up at D?

the girls are saying, why cant you just go A - B - C - D?

fitzy, youre trying to understnad why your parents want you to do it a certain way, yet youre doing the same thing by saying you wont do it their way you want to do it your way

 

that is exactly what i've been trying to get to.

the thing is, i have done it my parents way (a - b - c - d) while growing up before college. i became more comfortable with a new way while at college because we had to do lots of cleaning and making things spotless, so i'm more comfy doing B - C - A - D ... and i believe it works better the way i do it now. i get it done a lot quicker, but to the same standard my parents have than i would if i had to do it my parents way. what is wrong with that and how does it make me ungrateful

 

they're both doing the same thing, but he lives in their house. IMO that means his parents automatically win

 

you just said it "they're both doing the same thing"

the only winner around is the house, because its getting cleaned

 

hah, that was funny.

You guys are both doing the same thing, but your mom is paying the mortgage, so she has a right to do it-you don't

 

so there's a difference between "bitched at as a power trip" and "power trippin bitches?" because seems to me they're very much the same thing. and neither of them reflect very well on yourself.

 

my mom pays no mortgage, nor the rent. my dad pays the rent...and pays my grandmas mortgage

 

ah. and the crux of it. it's not your mom's money in your opinion, is it?

 

anyone can bitch at me..this time the bitching was a part of a power trip. my mom is not a bitch.

now, if i said "power tripping bitches" (which i didn't, so no need to make more comments up) that would refer to a bitch on a power trip.

a major major difference in wording and menaings