hmmm...think like a man, think like a woman

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Jedi, Jan 6, 2005.

  1. Jedi

    Jedi Self Banned

    Ahem,
    A man and woman are getting all snugly in bed.
    The passion is heating up.
    But then the lady stops and says,
    "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
    The guy says "WHAT??"
    The lady explains that he must be in tune with her emotional
    needs as a Woman.
    Then he realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and
    he might as well deal with it.
    So the next day the man takes her shopping at a big department store.
    He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits.
    She can't decide. He tells his woman to take all three of them.
    Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each.
    Then they go to the Jewellery Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings.
    The lady is so excited. She thinks her guy has flipped out,
    but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet.
    He says "you don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then let's get it."
    The woman is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even
    believe what is going on.
    She says "I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register."
    The man stops and says, "No, I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."
    The woman's face goes blank.
    He Continues-"I just wanted you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
    The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode.
    The man says, "You need to be in tune with my financial needs as a Man".
     
  2. Juggalo4ever

    Juggalo4ever KingoftheChubbyGirls

  3. kindwoman

    kindwoman Sista Golden Hair

    Very nice! (and I would never refuse sex from a man, honey)
     
  4. Soulless||Chaos

    Soulless||Chaos SelfInducedExistence

    Tis been posted before, but it's still funny... :D
     
  5. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

    hahaa that was funny
     
  6. Sera Michele

    Sera Michele Senior Member

    lol, too funny. I have to send it to my husband, he will get a kick out of it.
     
  7. NEMISIS

    NEMISIS GONE

    I love it.
     
  8. Crystaleyez

    Crystaleyez Member

    I love it so much I wanna puke! i don't even let guys buy me drinks:p
     
  9. superNova

    superNova Member

    that's really not funny, not even if i was the kind of person who liked sexist jokes.
     
  10. ihmurria

    ihmurria fini

    hurrah, I'm not the only one who doesn't find this hilarious. Not that it's the worst joke I've ever heard, but still... blagh, stereotypes sucks the big one
     
  11. Soulless||Chaos

    Soulless||Chaos SelfInducedExistence

    How is it sexist?
     
  12. Lilyrayne

    Lilyrayne Chrisppie

    It's not really a stereotype tho...
     
  13. Juggalo4ever

    Juggalo4ever KingoftheChubbyGirls

    Some weman are like that and this joke is about them.
     
  14. Jedi

    Jedi Self Banned

    ha Reality of life, who cares?!

    its for fun :D



    LOVE: When you write poems about your partner.
    LUST: When all you write is your phone number.
    MARRIAGE: When all you write is checks.
    LOVE: When sex is called "making love".
    LUST: When sex is called "doing it".
    MARRIAGE: When you can't remember what
    you used to call it.


    LOVE: When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
    LUST: When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
    MARRIAGE: When you lose your child in a crowded room.
    LOVE: When your heart flutters every time you see them.
    LUST: When your groin twitches every time you see them.
    MARRIAGE: When your wallet empties every time you see them.

    LOVE: When you argue over how many children to have.
    LUST: When you argue about who gives pleasure to whom.
    MARRIAGE: When you argue about money.
    LOVE: When you have concern for your partner's feelings.
    LUST: When you have concern for your partner's test results.
    MARRIAGE: When you have concern for what's on TV.


    LOVE: When nobody else matters.
    LUST: When nobody else knows.
    MARRIAGE: When everybody else matters and you
    don't care who knows.
    LOVE: When you like to be seen in public with your partner.
    LUST: When you like to see each other naked.
    MARRIAGE: When you never see each other awake.


    LOVE: When you share everything you own.
    LUST: When you steal everything they own.
    MARRIAGE: When the bank owns everything.
    LOVE: When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."
    LUST: When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.
    MARRIAGE: When you phone each other to fight.
    LOVE: When all the songs on the radio describe
    exactly how you feel.
    LUST: When the song on the radio determines how you do it.
    MARRIAGE: When you listen to talk radio.
    LOVE: When your farewell is "I love you, darling."
    LUST: When your farewell is "Same time next week?"
    MARRIAGE: When your farewell is "Pick up some toilet paper."
     
  15. Lilyrayne

    Lilyrayne Chrisppie

    LOL!!!! That last one was great!
     
  16. superNova

    superNova Member

    haha i don't feel like playing that game so i'm not even gonna explain how it's sexist, it's completely obvious.
     
  17. mountaingirl

    mountaingirl Member

    nice, just nice....i laughed out loud...even wet my pants...well not quite THAt far, but pretty funny:)
     
  18. Lilyrayne

    Lilyrayne Chrisppie

    Do you even KNOW how it is sexist? If someone is going to take it upon themselves to call something "sexist", they should be able to back their point of view. Otherwise you have no right to call something sexist, and all it is, is name calling.
     
  19. Super_Grrl

    Super_Grrl Crazy love

    I thought both were quite funny. :)
     
  20. superNova

    superNova Member

    sigh. the concept that women don't want sex, they just want to snuggle; the idea the women are going to be so greedily overjoyed when their husband takes them shopping, because it's not like it's "their" money they'd be spending, it must be his; the idea that men are money-makers and handle finances.

    want me to draw a picture?
     

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