His Antipathy of Condoms

all I did was try to give you my opinion of the situation, since that's pretty much what you asked for. I never claimed to be always right so please leave me out of this

 

yeah I know; I wasn't implying that you did, nor did I mean to make some sort of personal attack on you, so please disregard that.
"Discussing my taking the pill instead has not been discussed... and that stuff isn't what I want advice on. What I want to hear is whether you guys reacted similarly to this. (or girls--did your bf react this way?) (describe your reaction! no shirking on the details) How long did it take for him to get used to it?"

That's not asking for an opinion on the situation. I said I didn't want opinions. I wanted to know about similar reactions.

 

Gah
I'm frustrated. The few times I have created a thread here it's like no one reads it, they just give me automatic answers, which are answers to an entirely different question. I specified twice what I did and didn't want, with examples. How can I possibly be more clear? Are you reading my posts as rude?

 

I think the problem is that not many people have actually gone through that that post here, so it's hard to give concrete examples. Like others have mentioned, changing the lube or brand of condoms might help... but I still think that someone who really wants to make it work will try harder, will experiment with every brand and lube he can find until he finds one that he's comfortable with so the two of you can enjoy one another.

 

okay, I hear you. Thank you.

 

I had a partner who hated condoms and wasn't ever planning on using one with me and presumed (for some obscure reason) that I'd be fine with not using protection. His reasons were fair enough and pretty standard (it doesn't feel as good etc) but I was more bothered about the fact that he didn't even ask me, he just tried to go for it. I didn't go off on one, I just smiled and said "oh aye? Where do you think you're going like that huh?" And he agreed to use a condom. Best way to not ruin the mood

Other people have really been against the idea, but I'm sorry, no condom = no sex for me unless I've been in a relationship with someone for a long time (I'm not sure why, it might just be a closeness/trust thing because it's obviously not going to make them less fertile/disease ridden), I'm on the pill and I know they're clean.

 

This thread is hilarious...shes said so many times what she wants to hear advice about and people keep saying exactly what she said she doesnt want to hear advice about...I know you're all just trying to help but still. It almost seems like you're doing it on purpose. I just felt I had to contribute. By the way you should drop that guy.

 

When I first got with my ex, with whom I lost my virginity, she was on birth control and I didn't use a condom for the first few months we were together. After that she got off birth control, I despised it and stopped using it and started pulling out. She didn't mind (I said "fuck this this fucking sucks" and she said "Get used to pulling out then"). I know it doesn't always work, but neither do condoms. I guess there's a lot of new research (it's mostly purported by Christians though, so I'm not sure of its legitimacy) that says condoms don't work well at all as far as STD's go. So basically there's no solution other than abstinance, insistant testing, or just not caring.

 

Medical-grade polyurethane

Trojan makes them. I used them when I dated this gal who was allergic to latex. I liked them alot! But then again i'm not allergic to latex.

http://www.trojancondoms.com/product_info/index.asp

Look up Trojan Supra if the link doesn't go directly to it.

Sorry I have been away from the computer for a few days. I didn't mean to come off rude about your PM's... I just wanted to know what was up.

 

First I must say, you are expecting an awful lot from people that post in regard to your situation. I'll leave it at that.

I know where you are coming from. I was with a guy who hated condoms. They turned him off. He never pressured me to have sex with him wihtout one, but he wouldn't have sex with one either.

I put myself first on the pill and then on the depo shot. I'm not sure what you have against "stuff like that" and why it isn't an option, but if you want to have sex and you have a guy that just can't be turned on when he has to wear one, take the responsibility into your own hands. Either you wear a condom, get on BC, or don't have sex.

I'm not really sure what magical solution you are waiting for. If you don't want a kid or STD's you have to protect yourself SOME way, you know?

 

LOL!
Thanks; I feel better.

Maybe you're right. It seems that asking people to read my post as many times as it takes for them to understand it is quite a lot.

Read it again. I said I didn't want advice about it. I have nothing against 'stuff like that.' Read it again.

*trying not to cry* I'm asking if you've heard of guys who had similar reactions, and what they were. Perhaps even what you might have done to soothe their dislike of condoms. Nowhere did I say I wanted something other than condoms.

--
Somethingnew--just tell me the truth! This is a conspiracy to frustrate me! -ME, the most peaceful member of the forums!

 

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.........yeah right

 

well yeah.. I somehow doubt that as well, as long as we can get some that don't have such a horrible smell (I've smelt them and they really do stink; my friend thinks so as well)

 

That's not that big of a stretch, I'd turn down sex if I had to wear a condom, which is why I've only had sex with one girl. I don't want kids and I don't want aids. I'd love a lot of random sex but it makes no difference to me whether I get any or not, personally I'd rather just not fuck than wear a rubber.

 

There is the female condom you know. The girl gets fitted for it and she puts in in before sex. Then, the guy doesn't have to worry about wearing one if he doesn't want too, but it should be both ways.

 

So both of us should wear a condom?

 

HA HA ;-) Not quite although it would be an interesting night.
A friend and her partner alternated between the female condom and the usual. He didn't like wearing them so they compromised. She got it fitted so he didn't have to always wear it and when she didn't feel like putting it in, he wore one.
It still works pretty well

 

has he had a lot of exposure to the smell? maybe he just needs to get used to it, once he knows what to expect, he should adapt real fast. was this his first time smelling a condom, and maybe he was taken by surprise? it sounds like he didn't expect the smell. exposure might help, especially if he was expecting it to smell like peaches or something. latex and spermicide and such don't smell good, but he should be able to get used to it quickly. exposure might help. if he has smelled a condom before, and didn't get turned off by the smell, find out what brand it was.

also, did he make this judgment after just that one condom he masturbated in? could the condom have possibly been expired? that might exasturbate the smell...

and did the smell bother him as soon as he opened the package, or after he used it? because he said he was so turned off that he would turn down sex... but was he able to put it on and give it a whirl, did it take away his erection or turn him off enough to prevent him from coming? if the smell was as bad as he claims, he wouldn't have masturbated in it.. was he able to do it alone, despite the smell, but he thinks the smell will be an issue with you? maybe there is a deeper issue to this than actually the smell of the condom. perhaps it is a scapegoat for not being ready to have sex with you? i don't know your situation and you said you were looking for a slightly different answer, but i mean, this is part of that, and sometimes good advice isn't what we want to hear, or what we are looking for. it might be something to consider.

now granted, i can't perceive anothers perceptions, but it's real safe to say that unless he has some sort of olfactory disorder, it sounds like he is exaggerating about how badly the smell affects him. im not trying to be sarcastic or offer an opinion so much as i mean that seriously.. is he extremely sensitive to other smells? and is he a smoker, because us smokers are less sensitive to smells (and if he smokes, this would indicate that he is exaggerating about how bad it smells). i'm not saying that he should start smoking, but he will get over the smell. it doesn't smell like roses, but it certainly doesn't smell like a cat-piss&vomit potpouri either. and if it does smell like a cat-piss&vomit potpouri to him, then maybe he should get his nose checked out...

some other people mentioned conditioning and associating a condom with sex... perhaps you should put it on him, and condition him to associate it with sex, once he is able to handle the smell a bit better?

other than that, i think it really just comes down to a flavored condom, or different brands.. if exposure and associating a condom with sex doesn't work, and different brands/flavors/material don't work, then i don't think anything will.

i forget if you said it had spermicide, but i think you said it did... anyway, condoms with spermicide can really wreck shop on the vagina. so i would recommend using something without spermicide, for the sake of your vag (rather than his nose, although it might help that, too!)... every once in a while, a spermicide-condom is fine, but if you guys end up having sex frequently, then it might cause some irritation.

 

Actually no, he didn't get as far as cumming with it.
I think the sexual association suggestions were great.

you know, I am actually pondering that, and I recognize that there's a chance people were zoning in on that possibility in a sort of intuitive, empathetic way. But since I'm aware of that, and have been since he called me about his experience, I'm interested only in what I asked for.

 

yeah, i re-read your original post and realized that you never said he did come in it, so i went back and changed it up a bit, then realized you beat me to it i'm glad it still made sense though.

well... i think it is still in line with what you are asking for, because if it's a psychological/emotional issue, then other "solutions" would be bunk. if he's using the smell as an excuse, then nothing will get him to not hate the smell, because it wouldn't have anything to do with the smell. if it's a psychological/emotional issue, new condoms would be a waste of time and money. you're asking for ways to "get him over the smell" so you should sit him down and have a talk; clear the air to make sure that there aren't any deeper issues on his end. and then maybe once he expresses what is really going on, the smell will suddenly be tolerable. but since this is something you are onto, then you probably already thought of that... i figured i'd mention it just in case, though.