Hippie Jokes

oh yea, i almost forgot the best one...

what has 35 tattoos, 28 piercings, and 6 teeth?

A-camp!

 

Why couldn't the search party find the missing hippie?
He was outta sight, man!

Where does a hippie hang his posters?
Up against the wall! or Right on! the wall.

 

These are totally the best jokes I've ever seen in my life...

 

Why is there not a hutting season on hippy's? They are hard to clean.

 

A hippie walks into a barbershop, walks up to the barber and says, “Are you the guy who cut my hair last time?” and the barber says, “I doubt it. I’ve only been working here ten years!”

How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three, one to do it, and two to relate to the experience.

What's the difference between a hippie and a deadhead?
A hippie will give you the shirt off his back, and a deadhead will sell you somebody else's for $25, two for $40.

What does a deadhead say when he runs out of pot?
"This band sucks!"

How many potheads does it take to watch a campfire go out?
All of them.

 

How did the stoned hippy die. He got killed by the dragon he thought he saw.

But in all honesty peace and love to everyone. Its the only thing that can save this planet.

 

aaight i gota couple for ya kids ... sorry they may be alittle offensive, theyre based on stereotypes, but as we all know a stereotype becomes such because there's a healthy dose of truth to it enjy


How do ya know a hippy was at your house?
Hes still there and the soap never got touched.

How do you know a hippy chick is on her period?
-She only got one sock on!
How do you she's off her period?
-One of her socks is red.

Whats the difference between a hippy girl and a hockey team?
The hockey team showers after three periods!

What's the difference between a hippy girl and a washing machine?
It don't take a quarter to drop a load in her.

What's the difference between a hippy girl and a washing machine?
The washing machine goes through different set a clothes at least once a week.

How do you stash a sheet of L in a squat house?
Put it under a bar of soap.

How do you know some hippies stayed at your hotel?
all the cocaine in a five block radius got sold and the kids are at the nearest gas station spare changing for gas an a 40

What's the difference between a hippy and a deadhead? hippys love the earth, deadheads love their family

How many deadheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None - they get a hippy spun and make him do it over and over

theres probly more but listening to the sweet sweet sounds Morris Day and the Time and yyou know what that means

 

45 for a bag.3 dollars for a pack of pappers.And a rainbow to smoke it with---Priceless---

 

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. It's important for people to be able to laugh at themselves.

 

whats the diference between a rainbow mama and a rock?



you can eat a rock if ya really wanna

 

How do you know a Rainbow has been at your house?
Muddy footprints on the toilet seat

What do you call a hippie with a bike?
Successful (movin' up in the world)

Why did the Rainbow cross the road?
- He saw several people on the other side standing in a circle and coughing.

How do you say "fuck you" in Rainbow?
"Can I borrow your flashlight?"
"This is your first Rainbow, right?"
"Six-up!"
"Brother, you have some serious healing to do"
"Dose me!"

How do you know a Rainbow is still at your house?
All the dishes are clean, your out of food, and they fed the whole neighborhood.

I thought of this when I saw a t-shirt with "Shit Happens" quotes for all the religions of the world:
If Shit Happens, BURY IT!

What do you do if you're ever lost in the woods?
- Stop and make a fire, and a pot of coffee, and ten Rainbows will show up to tell you how you did it wrong.

 

Do you know what hippie sex is like?

It's fucking intense.

Fucking.. In... Tents.. man