Hippie Jokes

hopefully ill be able to piss some one off....



just kidding guys




what you got? i love to hear new hippie jokes

ill lay one down



whats more dumb than a box of rocks??


















the hippie that carries it accross the country

 

dumb but who cares How do ya get a one armed hippy outta of a tree?




Pass him the joint...


HAHAHAHAHHSAHAHAAHAHAHHAAH im so funny

 

"whered all the fucking weed go, man?"

"dude what kind of stupid fucking question is that"

we need someone who knows jokes, cus im not funny, especially wen im making up shit myself

 

I've posted these before, but let's revive them!

How do you get 20 hippies into a phone booth? Throw in a joint.
How do you get them out? Throw in a bar of soap.

Why are hippies like bears? They both hug, eat honey and shit in the woods.

How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in sleeping bags.

Why do so many hippies live in Eugene, Oregon? There's no work there.

Why did the hippie cross the road? Who else would follow a chicken around?

Where can you hide money from a hippie? Under a bar of soap.

 

why did the hippy cross the road

he "thought" he saw something

 

"dude, u stink, dont u shower?"

"showers waste water, man, think outside the box"

 

why'd the hippie cross the road?

cuz someone told him not to...

 

why did the hippy jump off a cliff

he read a book that said truth lies over the edge

he also forgot the meaning of the word context

 

How do ya tell if a hippy chick is on the rag?
She's only got one sock.

What's the difference between a hippy and a rainbow?
A hippy will come to visit and hang around for a long time, a rainbow will come to visit, hang around a long time, but they'll wash your dishes.

 

i found this one on a website, i thought it was appropriate...

You Might Be A Hippie If ...

There's people you consider family and you don't know their last name.

i love u family, and i dont even know ure first names, nor have i ever met u

 

whats the best thing about picking a hippie up?




droping them off

 

this is from a website:
Three hippies are sitting around smoking a joint. One says, "I am going to go take a bath."
He goes upstairs to the bathroom, fills up the bathtub, starts to get in the bathtub and then stops for a second and thinks to himself, "Hmmmmm, am I getting in or am I getting out?" So he sits there and thinks about it.
The second one says, "Well, he's been up there for awhile, I better go check on him." When he gets halfway upstairs he stops for a moment, and thinks to himself, "Am I going upstairs or am I going downstairs?" He stays there and thinks about it.
The third guy says, "I hope I never get blasted as much as those two, knock on wood!" So he knocks on the table and says, "Was that the front door or the back door?"

 

The Pot Paradox:
An empty bowl needs to be filled, a full bowl needs to be emptied

 

Nark Nark
Who's there?
Igor and Hugo
Igor and Hugo who?
Igor in the front door
Hugo in the back
We got them pot smok'in hippies this time!

 

Kay here's my jokes the hip leos in hippies didn't like them so i just want to spread them around like love makes me want to misspell tu like sumwun told me not tu

y cudnt the costgard save the hippy?

cuz he wuz tu far out man

Y wuznt jezis born at a rainbow gathering?

cuz gawd cudnt find 3 wize men or a vergin

wut du yu git wen u put 32 Acampers round a campfire?

almost a full set uv teef

How many deadheads duz it take tu change a litebulb?

Dey dont chage it dey just watch it burn out den follow it round fer 30 years

Y do hippys wave ther arms wen dey dance?

tu keep dah music out uv der eyes

 

Jimmy Buffet passes on & goes to heaven.

God spends the day showing him around, at the end of the day he brings Jimmy to a small modest faded yellow one bedroom house with an unkept yard & a tattered parrot flag waveing in front.

God tells him that not many people in heaven get a house, but that this one was his. Jimmy looks the place over & then looks over god's shoulder up on a hill in the near distance.

Up upon the hill sits a beautiful huge marble mansion with shining pillers in front. There are beautiful barefoot girls with long hair & colorful dresses manicureing the flowers in the gardens. The hedges are all trimmed into danceing bears & guitars. The long walkway winding down the hill from the mansion is lined with tiedyed & steelyaface flags.

Jimmy buffet looked at the site & then remarks to god..... " Oh gee, all i get is this lousy little dump & jerry garcia gets that mansion up on the hill over there!?"

God replies..... " No my son, that isn't jerry garcia's house,...it's mine"

 

Thats awesome man.

 

Why are there no hippies on starship enterprise?
Because hippies do not have jobs in the future either..

 

i've posted this before....but why do they call it a roachclip?




cause potholder was already taken....heh heh heh!!!

 

wut du yu git wen u put 32 Acampers round a campfire?

almost a full set uv teef


ROFL.... It wouldn't be so funny if it wasn't true.


I love you man!!!!!