Highschool Anxiety

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by Canadianfem, Aug 24, 2005.

  1. Canadianfem

    Canadianfem Member

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    Well, my 11 year old daughter is going to junior high. I feel an extreme anxiety. I fear the peer pressure she will be under. I see the older kids outside the school at lunch time smoking and I'm thinking "oh my god, I don't want her to be out in the street at lunch time smoking!!"

    She will be taking French immersion, which stresses me even more as I don't speak hardly a word and won't be able to help her. I know living here in Ontario its important for her to become bilingual and she will benefit in her future profession if she has it and I know she is capable of doing it.

    Too much to think about UGH!!! I wish I could keep her in elementary school forever? Any advice other than locking her in her room forever *the thought has crossed my mind* hehehehe.

    Catherine
    www.thegourmetlife.com
     
  2. purplemoonbeams

    purplemoonbeams Member

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    Middle school?

    Ugh.

    Seriously, with my really bad experience in middle school, I don't think I'm going to be able to send my kids to middle school. I'm honestly considering doing home schooling with my future kids for those two years. I hated middle school. I don't think I will ever find people who are so mean, rude, immature, hateful, racist, elitist, stuck-up, cliquey, obnoxious, inclusive, crude, etc. I cried myself to sleep every night, hid in the bathroom during lunch and ate there, hardly ever smiled while I was at school, I was literally going insane, feeling so hated, treated worse than an animal, didn't have a single friend in the world, felt like a failure at everything I did, wanted to die, built up an iron wall around myself. You should really keep an eye out for drugs, but nothing compares to the psychological harm that those kids can leave on someone.

    I still can't look people in the eye, hold a real conversation with people, answer questions in the middle of class. I left that hell hole, I mean school, in 2002. I graduate in June of 2006. Middle school made me lose trust in about 90% of the entire human race.
     
  3. Canadianfem

    Canadianfem Member

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    Hmmmm, I'm not feeling any better about this hehehehe. I think I'll have many sleepless nights to come.

    Catherine
    www.thegourmetlife.com
     
  4. annabegins

    annabegins Member

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    junior high for me was a nightmare. That was when the kids have the most criticism, and attitude, and everyone is desperately trying to fit in. Once I got into highschool though, it was the complete opposite. Everyone was expressing their individuality and it didnt matter if you had the right "nike's" or whatever. But damn, junior high. shes totaly right.. very cliquey. BUT your child is not going to be scarred for life or anything, i think its just that at that age its the most akward, and kids take it out on eachother, theyre all trying to find themselves. By the time they get into highschool, they usually have found themselves, or have a pretty good idea. I dont know if kids are actually allowed to smoke at that school, if so, thats pretty messed up. But, I started smoking with my friends from school. And we would smoke in the car before and after. and the students smoked in the bathrooms and in the school bus secretly. It DOES usually start at school, so keep an eye out.
     
  5. Kastenfrosch

    Kastenfrosch Blaubeerkuchen!! Lifetime Supporter

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    We can't save kids from everything. i believe there are things, that one just has to experience. Life is not only about positive experiences. Keep an eye on your daughter, love her, and provide a loving home. If she can always return to a loving home, things can't be too bad. If she really will be victimized, then you can still protect her. Chances are, that she will find friends :) And that she will have a good time.

    And don't keep your daughter from learning things that you can't help her with. There are always other possibilities to get help if needed. Class mates, the teacher, maybe even a tutor. Sometimes, you don't have to "know" a subject yourself in order to help your kids, but take the time and go over the directions together, and figure it that way out.
     
  6. Sage-Phoenix

    Sage-Phoenix Imagine

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    Ditto :)


    My brother and I both survived the whole school experience, and never suffered due to peer pressure. Sure we faced it, but our parents had instilled in us enough good sense and self esteem to say no. We certainly never smoked.

    Naturally you're going to worry, but things are never usually as bad as we imagine them to be.
    I didn't have a particually great time in school (they better not be the best days of my life, if so I might as well end it all now) but survived and learnt a lot. Some of which was even on the curiculum. :)

    As for the French, ditto on getting outside help. Maybe you can learn together, and/or she could revise for test and things by trying to teach you (I'd do that, figured if I could explain something to my younger brother then I must know it.)

    Prepare for the worse, but hope for the best.
    Good luck :)
     
  7. SilverClover14

    SilverClover14 Senior Member

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    Think of it this way- you and your daughter are SO LUCKY to have a French immersion school. Most other kids will be in the same boat as your daughter with no French around their lives, so don't stress about it. Part of immersion is learning by constantly hearing it so things will be repeated 4 or 5 times and slowly. Not to mention French is not that difficult of a language to pick up.

    I never thought middle school was that bad. But I was lucky- I was a band kid. Band kids stick together. My advice to anyone with kids going into middle school is to get them involved in the band program if it's offered! The kids tend to be the "good" kids (aka not the kids that will go smoke behind the school) and it makes test scores higher. Not to mention it's a general good experience. Learning music is like learning a 2nd language, and band kids tend to be better language and math students according to all my foreign language and math teachers.

    Just don't worry too much and be there for your daughter. She'll be fine. I think it's always the parents that are much worse off at the start of a new school than the kids themselves.
     
  8. Applespark

    Applespark Ingredients:*Sugar*

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    its a time of change for everyone. let her go through it but honor her change and she'll change for the better in the long run. holding a kid back at t he time of intense change can really damage tehm and make them jsut want to run away from your grasp. Let her know the truth about dangers without aiming the info at her. Suggesting things about health and non smoking etc. If she tries it it wont kill her. Make comments about how nasty it is and how it makes yoru teeth yellow and black and fall out etc. haha...gotta get her on the 11 year old level. Dont lock her up though it will be a hell of a time as teen years hit if you do. Give her leway to breath and grow and she will be fine.
     
  9. squawkers7

    squawkers7 radical rebel

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    [​IMG]
    Didn't know where else to put this.
     
  10. WHorseTurtle

    WHorseTurtle Member

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    I'm with purplemoonbeams, except it wasn't for just junior high, it was pretty much all 14 years of it, preschool, kindergarten, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc, etc....didn't even end senior year of high school. Doubt things would change if I went to college too. HAH.

    Blessings
    Francine
     
  11. HippyFreek2004

    HippyFreek2004 changed screen name

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    Middle School...You have to be able, as a parent, to teach your child how to be confident enough in herself that she can overcome the adversity she faces in that pressure cooker of an environment. Think about it. When you were there, didn't you notice that the kids with the highest self-esteem (on the outside...how they presented themselves) were the ones that made it through without so many problems. The ones with the problems were the ones that didn't have the self-confidence to be able to handle it.

    If your daughter has problems with those kids, you stand her in front of a mirror every afternoon and say 3 nice things about herself. Then you say 3 nice things about her. Everyday, have her point out three different good things about herself. Repeat them, like a mantra. Encourage her in everything she does. Never stop complimenting her, hugging her, asking her feelings about anything and everything. It's very important that she feel worthwhile, if she's going to make it past middle school with herself in tact.

    Don't worry momma...We all come out of middle school, alive if a bit teary-eyed. :)
     

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