Wassup all haven't posted here in a while, not too much going on first off I got caught with heroin at the sle I was staying at, my dad found out, then ever since I haven't got shit for cash because he thinks Im probably going to spend that shit on drugs. Its alright just reality caught up to me, I wanted to do some simple ass landscaping or something for a job, I haven't done jack for awhile except some community service at the beach, pretty dope get to see hella fine girls as im pickin up trash or whatever, going to court soon for stealing some nice levi jeans out of some random old ladys garage haha trying to finish up community service soon before the court date so it looks like ive been doing good shit you know. Still get high when I can but that sober living shit was driving me crazy, they are like a fuckin cult or something. So im at a temporary living situation, and my dad wants to send me off to some landscaping program and just work all day and get paid 7 bucks a day. You get food and shelter there but yeah Id rather have something to get paid like a real job, people are all telling me oh youll get experience being out there doing crap and im jus like fuck dat my other option is another sober living house but yeah that fuckin sucks but guaranteed itd be way better then my other one that was a nightmare. my dad sayin he probably wont even pay for this other one since I ditched outa the last place. yeah I definitely rely on my dad too much I know I need to really get my shit together guys im slippin. Mostly some boring ass drama that I have to tell you guys but yeah just checkin in showin you guys im still alive, still got some good friends and all that gravy shit, a lot of them shoot up drugs now which I look down on pretty much, just sad for them that they ever resorted to that, then they say Im a hypocrite saying that its just as bad smoking or snorting or whatever but yeah I don't get how they can say that needles are just purely evil, I mean that's how you get addicted fully, that's how you od and die and all that, so idk mabey theyre just trying to justify that shit or something but yep. you guys are just gonna give me shit about drugs and all that now.. Well go ahead roast away ive heard it all anyways heh. peace guys let me knw if you got some slickass life advice for the dacre maker or some shit late
"That sober living stuff that's like a cult", or how ever you worded it, is AN option (not the only option) that has kept A LOT of those people who you "look down upon for injecting drugs" ("although snorting heroin is okay...as long as you don't i.v." it...) alive by preventing those overdoses caused by addictions. (as well as preventing death in other ways that sometimes follow drug addiction.).... I'm not gonna go off on a big tangent in this thread standing up for N.A.- for many reasons.... one being that N.A. doesn't need me to stand up for it. They don't care if someone likes what they have to offer or not- it works for some people- for others, it's not their thing. But it has helped saved many lives... including some people that I know- like a good friend of mine who was addicted to heroin for 30 years and would likely be dead now if it wasn't for N.A.---- and the whole cult thing and people thinking it is a religious program, is usually people that don't truly understand what it's about.... In any case, I don't actually go to N.A. or anything right now but I have nothing against it and think it's great that it's there to help people. I also think whatever helps people is great for them too... for some people, they can just smoke weed instead.... or take up a sport or exercise plus mediation.... have a career switch.... have kids and focus on them... people are all different obviously. ANYWAYS, I wish you the best and glad to see that you're alive. But just watch with your attitude ...about both i.v. drug users (though you like the drug they use, lol.) and recovery programs... because when you start to think you are better than other people....well, it's not a good sign. In any case, have fun and be careful.
I don't have anything against NA or anything, I think meetings are pretty cool to go to, lots of great recovery stories and lotsa stuff to learn from people and addicts, but when you are forced to go to them all the time that's kinda different, I hate all that mandatory shit people trying to force you to be sober and mold the very core of who you are and what you do in life. But yea drugs don't really help much with anything besides like motivating me in life more and cureing my disease called boredom I get when Im so called "sober", just gets me more excited about life when I have something to look forward to do with my friends or by myself, makes all the activities and conversations more epic and more euphoric meaning to it all. But I do realize that it is borderline on interfering with my life, and I might need to actually get sober for awhile to sort shit out for real. I hate admitting it because in reality I actually probably am an addict, and Im not even sure if im going to be able to. In the back of my mind I realize that going to this program to do slave labor and get landscape exp might actually be my only realistic option. I mean I wont be able to find drugs very easy over there, I wont even know anyone. Mabey its like a test from god trying to see if I can do some self discipline and work for dirt cheap staying clean for a couple months. I know I can do it but its gonna suck and now that I really think about it its my only real way I have left. The key is to not let drugs and alcohol control your life and run your life. I still have problems with that which I will be able to figure out how to pace it eventually im sure. Just society looks down on users as like they are scum or trash or something a lot of the time, which makes it much harder to progress when you need to. Anyways thanks for the input guys. Hopefully I get a decent job and or/ legit place to stay around here soon which id honestly rather have happen then to go to some gay ass program.
you need to remove yourself from those d-bags that do the dope. then find something to occupy your time such as a job or hobby, but make sure that when you get that "feeling for dope" you substitute it for something else.. it will get less over time, but you know that already. wanna snort a bump? smoke a blunt. over and over and over again you will eventually become a big pothead instead. that's easier to maintain. but foremost remove your access to brown.
Yeah, I know that's probably the best and only way death, but you know I have the dream that eventually just be a normal functioning person in life and still smoke some black sometimes when I want to and not be obsessed with it completely and still maintain. I love part of the drug world, but it can be shady as fuck if you aren't really careful obviously. That's why you gotta know the reight people. Yeah those d-bags are actually my closest friends and get me more than anyone else. Just when I see most of them shooting up all at once it just sickens the fuck out of me like they completely crossed the line and wound up full on fiend. I haven't smoked black in like 3 or 4 days because I have been broke as shit. Did smoke some meth today totally awesome day haha but yeah gotta stop relying on hard drugs so much to make life fun again. It always works but I do it too much. I gotta stick to pot for awhile for sure. Its really hard controversy because they are my best friends but when we hang its inevitable that drugs are a part of bonding. A fuckin neverending cycle. Probably realistically avoiding them is like the only way is that sad part of the whole thing. Idk im obviously pretty fuckin lost in it all but at least I can admit it, cant really regret anything either.
We all get rather comfortable in the space we are in. Until you are no longer comfortable with your choices change is really difficult. It is amazing what we can reason out as being "normal" or "ok" or justify. You will need to find the motivation within yourself to make any change. I hope that you will find something that means enough to you to make a change. I wish you well and hope that change comes for you where you can enjoy a walk on the wild side without living there permanently.
Sounds like you know what the right thing is to do. That's a big step in the right direction. I tried crack one time and it scared the shit out of me how instantly I was addicted to it. Luckily, I didn't have any money to buy more so I missed that bus, lol. Good luck, man.
One of my good friends shoots dope, she is very open about being an addict and wants to stop but she keeps doing her thing. I've done everything I can to help her even found her a place to stay in a fucking mansion with a lady that was willing to detox her and help her rehab. But she fucked that up within a week. The sad thing is she's drop gorgeous and super smart and just a good person. I would date her in a second if she was clean, hell maybe even marry her. At least you have family willing to help you, that's a lot more than a lot of people have. But I'm sure that won't be there forever so you should get your shit together while you can then maybe spend some time with your dad when you aren't all fucked up just wanting to get high again, because he won't be around forever. Also I don't know anyone that casually smokes boi unless they are just getting into it. And once you get clean you can easily get back to the point you are now, you can't maintain that. I know what you mean about life is boring, I feel that a lot too but at the end of the day I had to survive and I want certain things for myself so I do what I need to do. You should find something you love doing and focus on that, the money will come and you won't feel bored. Cars, music, whatever it is.
Yeah, the saying is jails, institutions and death. (but there is also typical "recovery" and there is also just becoming a pothead.
Agree with AT about NA. If you feel like you are being pushed into going and resist it though, it probably won't do you any good. If you don't go to the meetings though, you might try finding someone who can be a mentor to you. Someone who has "been there, done that" and knows how to go from where you are to where you want to be. It sounds though like you're not really sure what you want to do. You don't want to go on being an addict, but you really haven't made the decision that you want to quit. I think that quitting an addiction is not something that you can really do in a half-hearted way. Acupuncture and chinese herbal medicine might help you to recover. It's not a magic bullet though, but it can make things easier for you. No judgements brother. Hope that things can get better soon!
Dudei just got done dicking wih na. I had a decent job nce house car etc and I just lost and it. Stayed sober thru it and just now smoking again. Dope been calling my name but fuck its been rough
