he's sleeping

thanks angela and shellie. you are both wonderful people. i really do listen to everything that people say (right now- being you two)- i dont always show it but it always effects me....

 

So far people have been givin' ya very good advice, IMO, Trish. You say you can't leave him 'cause of depression, money issues and no where to go. Well, I left my husband (we had been married 7 years at the time) WITH the kids (ages 1, 5 & 7) and NO money. I won't go into the details of why I left (it was a BAD situation) but the point is I DID leave. I have depression problems too but I made a vow when I was young (my dad used to beat the shit out of me) that NO man would treat me as my father had. Point is, there are ways to get out. You just have to make up your mind and fucking do it. Or, on the other hand, you can just waste away years of your life with someone that abuses you, and just hope that someday he doesn't take it too far. Up to you.

 

I say get out NOW Trish. You are depressed, have no where to go and have no money because hes emotionally controlling you. He's the one cutting off your avenues to escape but on the other hand he doesnt HAVE to be doing this to you as you ALWAYS have the option of leaving and you know it. I know its a bad time to be feeling strong and all 'I am woman hear me roar' because you are also hoping to come off your meds and sort out so many other areas of your life and thats a tough thing to do all at once. I would suggest to you prioritise what you need to be doing to move on (IMO its getting away from him first because he's making you emotionally incapable of being strong and independant, but its YOUR life so YOU need to choose what action to take first).

You should know that my last boyfriend dumped me at EXACTLY the same time I developed anxiety, agrophobia and panic attacks - he left me when I needed him most. When it comes down to it, I had to do it all on my own, which is SO scary but I didn't have much choice. Perhaps it is the same for you. But I made it and so will you. Your are a much better person than you allow yourself to think you are sweetie.

 

No problem, I just hope you take our advice hun!

 

i remember this girl who once put clear nailpolish over this guy's pee-hole while he was sleeping. nasty thing to do, but hey revenge is a dish best served cold.

 

That's a BRILLANT idea. love it!


actually though, we're getting along now.... blah.

 

Trish, ya'll are getting along right now. But what are you going to do when he suddenly flips the switch??? . . . . AGAIN?!

I love you but you are pissing me off! And no offense, but you are being dumb to stay with him. YOU ARE IN DANGER.

 

Well, I am truly sorry for pissing you off. i know i am a dumb-ass.

 

C'mon girl, leave the fucker! We're all worried bout ya n shit.

 

honestly it isnt work hurting yourself over him... clearly he is an asshole and he doesnt treat you with any respect and i dont really kno you at all but i kno this... no woman should have to go through that!! if you really care for yourself and ur body then you should leave him.... ne guy who beats women isnt worth your time!!! go and find someone who will take care of you when you are in harms way not a man who is the one to put you in that path!!

 

YOU are not a dumb ass. But you are BEING dumb. And I am going to tell you what I told my best friend . . . after all the advice you have been given after complaining about him beating you . . . I personally don't want to hear about it anymore. If you are going to post about it, wanting people to offer how bad they feel for you, and then you go back with the fucking loser, then you need to quit complaining about it unless you don't go back to him. Because he is not only hurting you, but by you staying with him, you are hurting us (the ones who care about you).

I am not speaking for anyone else, but if I see anymore posts about him treating you badly I am going to think that you must ENJOY being beaten and degraded. Or else you would have left him a long time ago. But you know what? I am not going to respond. Because I know my advice isn't been taken seriously. I am wrong about a lot of things. But I know I am right about this: he will not change. He won't. I don't care if he buys you a beautiful diamond necklace or promises you the world, he will not change. Simple as that. He is an abuser. Just like my best friends loser boyfriend. But she won't leave him either. And I don't know why. You both must be brainwashed. But I promise that no matter what he tells you, there are other men out there who WILL love you. AND NOT BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.

I just read what I wrote and I am sorry for sounding like a bitch, but being nice doesn't get the point across. Maybe I am reaching you, I doubt it, but I am hope I am. But I am done, no more advice from me. You didn't really ask for it anyway . . .

 

Being depressed, having no money and nowhere to go never stopped me from going. In fact all that's what usually motivates me. and once I get going shit happens.

It's hard for everybody Trish.

 

Here's what you do. Tazer his ass till he foams from the mouth and passes out. He may smoke a little but dont let that alarm you. Then take that bat and fuck up his car. Slash the tires, break off the exaust, have a field day under the hood. Jam gum in the locks. Then get your shit and go far far away and don't even look back. Fuckin make his ass toasty. He should know your pain

As for no money... Get what you can, seek familly help (they'll normally help you if your just getting on your feet again and if you intend to pay them back) maybe even shack up with a friend. Get a job, get a place to stay, and get a vibrator to replace that dickhead

 

My live in bf hits me too. My friends keep telling me the same thing...its my fault that i let him hurt me and i'm only here because i want to be here. The thing is you can't ever say how you'll react until you get in that situation. One day he comes home, acts a fool and ends up scaring the shit out of you, leaving a couple of marks and locks you out of the house, barefoot, no money, no id, no purse...nothing. So you sit there until he comes back out and starts to hug and cuddle you and he takes you out to eat, you come home have make up sex and everything is fine because you think he loves you again.

The thing is, when everything is ok between two people, you feel like you can work it out. When things are wrong is when ya start to bitch and complain and feel like the life you're living is wrong.

First off(and i'm going through this myself) you have to make sure you feel wrong as long as you are there. Every moment of every second of everyday...feel like something is wrong. Nothing is ok. And don't spend so much time with him. In fact, take your weekends out from underneathe him. My friends have been doing that for me lately. Last weekend i went to Bruce Hornsby in St. Louis....the weekend before i was at Deer Creek listening to the Dead. This weekend i'm going to a friends house in Indiana. He'll wlecome you back with open arms because he thought you were gone...but remember, everything is still not ok. Plus it'll show you what kind of a life you can have without him.

I don't know about your situation, but my bf has me trapped under thumbnail. I'm not allowed to work, i'm not allowed to leave very far from the house, i have to wait on him hand and foot, i have to know where everything is at every second and go get it for him. It's a very controlling relationship.

Right now, i'm slowly going through the house and discreetly packing things i don't need to use on an everyday basis and stashing them over at a friends house. Eventually, i have plans to move in with that friend. He says he can get me a job asap.

Its a big step, but you have to have faqith that you can do this. Whatever does not kill us only makes us stronger. Rise up!...take your life back.