help with condoms...

i've been having sex for about 5 months now, but i've always been on the pill so i've not really had to worry about birth control as such. but soon im thinking of coming off the pill, and neither me or my bf has used a condom before... anyone got any tips so that i dont mess up when trying to put the condom on him? i heard that on uncircumcised males u had to roll the skin back, can anyone tell me anymore? thanks for any replies.

 

for a guy with a circumsized penis you must roll back the skin and then take the condem put in on the end of his penis and and roll back the sides so that it completely covers the penis

Hope that helps.

 

I cant believe what I’m reading hear! You’ve been having sex for 5 months & you’ve never used a condom! Just because your on the pill doesn’t mean your pretected from STI’s, did you not have sex education at school! Before you have sex again I’d get yourself to the GUM clinic & get tested for any STI’s, remember infections like clamidia that has no symptoms (both men & women) can stop you having babys. Also ask there & they will show you & your bf how to put on a condom on a model penis

 

can't think of anywhere that states u roll the foreskin back.. but I suppose it would make it more pleasurable for the guy.. some would say too sensitive.. maybe.

 

Crazy -

I commend you for seeking additional information. It shows intelligent thought on your part to be proactive on this measure. While they have some valid points, don't be too intimidated by others that would give you a hard time about what you don't yet know - we all started not knowing anything.

For some good pointers on the semantic issues of condom usage, I would recommend watching the southpark episode of "Proper use of a condom". It won't teach you what you are looking for, but it will help illustrate some of the issues surrounding teaching condom usage to young people.

The idea behind condom usage is to add safety and enjoyment to sex, so:

My Condom Rules:

1). Check the expiration date on the Packaging!

Like milk and frozen waffles, condoms have an expiration date, for a good reason. Latex can break-down over time and result in a less protective condition when they become easily breakable. Check the condom wrapper for tears, holes, etc. If the wrapper is damaged, so likely is the condom.

2). Practice unrolling a condom with your partner.

Since you are sharing sex with another person, it is wise to also share the learning experience. Nobody knows everything, so the more you can learn together, the happier you will be. Practicing together with the lights on can help you get over fears and doubts. Make sure you have enough condoms on hand to allow for a few to be used for experimentation purposes. Condoms are best rolled-on when the penis is fully erect and ready for insertion, allowing for a comfortable and secure fit. Make sure there is enough empty space at the tip of the condom to receive your partner's semen (typically a reservoir), otherwise you could risk blowing out the end of the condom with a strong ejaculation.

3). Never re-use a condom.

Generally, in my experience, you are luck if a condom works right the first time (i.e. no breakage), so don't risk re-using one. I know it sounds kinda nasty, but some people have done it. Perhaps mutual masterbation is a healthy alternative.

4). Hold the base of the condom and withdraw it quickly after sex.

Often after climax the male penis become quickly flaccid. Combined with the semen it contains this can cause the already slimy condom to stay inside of you when your partner withdraws, possibly spilling semen, etc. Holding the base of the condom securely will prevent the condom from slipping off inside of you when your partner withdraws it.

5). Pay attention to lubrication & your Body .

Some people are allergic to latex condoms, so pay attention to your body. If after sex you notice a bad reaction (itching, swelling, discharge) you may want to seek medical consultation to see if you are allergic to condoms. Many people erroneously think that they are allergic to latex when in fact it is only the lubricant/spermicide on pre-lubed condoms that irritates them. One common lubricant - nonoxyl 9, can cause more irritation and soreness than it is worth. This lubricant is also a suspect for increase HIV/Aids transmission, as it can irritate the vaginal walls significantly. If you have any doubt, use non-lubricated condoms in combination with a water-based lubricant. Do NOT use Vaseline or petroleum jelly on latex, as it will degrade the material and cause breakage. For more information on condoms and lubricants, see: http://www.expectations.co.uk/sh/SEOSiteIndex.asp?menu=421.
Non-Latex condoms, used in preventing pregnancy, do not offer protection from STD's as they are too porous to prevent the transfer of viruses and bacteria that are much smaller than the sperm that gets blocked.

6). Don't go broke paying for condoms.

Oddly enough, condoms are damned expensive, and many people end up pregnant or infected because "they cost too much" - Nonsense! Most public health agencies, planned parenthood, and other local resource GIVE CONDOMS AWAY FOR FREE. Don't be embarrased to go get them, because you are doing the right thing. Also take advantage of the opportunity to discuss some of your concerns with the person handing them out. You may find them to be quite helpful.

7). If you discover that your condom has broken . . .

While it can be cause for concern, breakage and blowouts occur. Do the following: Don't panic. Stand up. Get to the bathroom and use it. Do a quick check to make sure that there are no pieces of the condom inside of you, also check the condom to see if it is in one piece, if it contains some semen, depending upon where the break occurred. If you are concerned about pregnancy, there are a number of "morning after" alternatives you can explore. Just be calm and deal with it. Do NOT douche - this technique often causes more problems because as you are trying to clean out the semen, it is not unusual for semen to be propelled further into the vagina/cervix/uterus, thus increasing the possiblity of pregnancy. For more about emergency contraception see: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/library/BIRTHCONTROL/EmergContra.htm

Additional resources for health and sex information are available from planned parenthood's teen site at http://www.teenwire.com/index.asp

I hope some of this information helps you, please feel free to ask questions.

BigScary in MT
bigscarymt@yahoo.com

 

Yeah...just go to the health clinic place and ask for a "brown bag..."

 

i would say stay on the pill, sex with a condom is no where near as good without one.

 

Yeah...or check into the NuvaRing....it's easier.

 

if your already on the pill why dont you stay on the pill condums suck for uncircumcised guys so bad! you see, in circumcised guys the pleasure comes from the head though less sensitive rubbing right on the women and the condom which doesnt move is ok, but for me, it holds everything in place and what feels good is the skin moving over the tip which is more sensitve, also the smaller sizes choked it and the bigger ones work themselfs off cause the skin can move. And it feels so much worse for both poeple. You dont get the nice rolling feeling anymore, just a sliding motion.

 

durex condoms are why lindsay has the highest teen pregnancy rate in ontario. use trojan

 

also they are not as stretchy and make your penis feel like its in a chokehold, even worse than trojans do, their inelasticity may be why they break more.

 

yah stay on the pill. It does other things for women other then b/c. Condums will feel less intense for you and just general suck for the guy. The pill is way more effective for birth control anyway.

don't let these people scare you. I'm guessing the you and your boyfriend are each others first sexual partners. Thats the way it was with me and my girlfriend we were complete virgins. And everything like top half only, fingering, oral sex, and sex we did for the first time together. so stds have never been a worry for us.

 

If you dont mind me asking, why are you getting off of the pill? If it is because of side effects I would go the the gyno and ask to be put on another kind of pill. Some have more side effects than others and every girl is different. Maybe you should keep trying different ones until you find the one that is best for you.

As for the condom issue, definitely check out the planned parenthood website...I'm sure you could learn a thing or two from them, and I'm sure they have some sort of similar clinic in the UK....do a web search on the topic, chances are you will find some useful info.

 

yeh it sounds like diseases arent a concern, besideds that if you were virgins you should be clean, if youve been having sex for that long without condoms youve probably got all the same diseases by now anyway. If it is side efect there are so many variations on birth controll drugs you could try. Condoms suck so bad! they hurt, they take away sensitivity, they break, and you cant be spontanious!

 

thanks for all the replies btw they did help.
i know for sure that both me and my bf have no STI's as we lost our virginity to each other and were totally clean beforehand. as for deciding to come off the pill... i really dont want to, as it is a really great form of contraception. however, iv already been on it for over a year (i went on it due to problems with my periods), and i heard that if u stay on the pill for 2 long, theres several risks, such as the risk of not being able to have children...

also (this is a really minor thing) i think my mum thinks it's a good idea if i come off the pill, she doesn't know that im using it as a contraception, and i dont want to tell her that i am... maybe there's another form of contraception such as the patch that i could use so that my mum wouldn't be able to tell that im using it...?

 

first of all, just because you both lost your virginity to each other, it doesn’t mean to say that you are both free from STI’s. unless you get tested many times in a year you cant be sure that both you & your bf don’t have a STI even if you both lost your virginity to each other, its very silly to think that. many STIs don’t have symptoms & arnt only passed on by sexual intercourse.

People lie, this is one thing to keep in mind. I never put my full trust in anyone, even after 3 years of a happy relationship, me & my bf are still using condoms, I will not risk my health & nether will he. Who’s to say that, the stag do to newcastle he went on with all his mates he didn’t end up having druken sex with some stranger, I don’t know that he didn’t & if he did he isnt going to tell me & risk our relationship is he. I’m not saying that your bf has had sex with anyone else but how do you know how can you be 100% sure. Trusting him 100% at such a young age is a fools game. And as I said before, STI’s arnt only transmitted through sex, your bf may have been a virgin & never had sex but does he class oral sex as sex & how do you know he’s never given oral before. If he had & the person he was giving oral to had herpes (which dosent always have symptoms & is non curable) it would then be passed on to him & then he would pass it on to you. also there are certain information that’s not always passed on to you through sex ed lessons at school. Things like coldsores, coldsores are a form of herpes, herpes type A, if you have one & give oral sex to your bf he can then contract herpes B or C which is non curable.

The pill, how long did you say you’ve been on the pill for? When doctors & sexual health doctors talk about risks of being on the pill, a lot of the risks are from being on the pill for many many years say 30 years, not one or two years. if your having a problem with the pill that your currently on then go to your GP, NHS youth clinic tell them the problems your having & they will change the type of pill your on.

I’ve had many problems with the pill, side effects & forgeting to take it etc, go & see your GP who will be able to give you info about having an implant. Although to get something like this you may have to bend the truth a little. Its not up to your mum either if you come off the pill or not, the pill is not only used as a contriception, i first started using it because i have very bad period pains, don’t let your mum pressure you into coming of it.

Also, I’ve read many people on here telling you to stay on the pill & not bother with condoms. Please don’t take there advise, the pill dosent stop you from STI’s even if you were both virgins.

Take a look at www.ruthinking.co.uk

 

Torz:

you said about not being able to trust anyone. well i just want to tell you that me and my bf trust each other more than anyone else and we tell each other everything. when we both met, we talked about each other's history, and neither of us had done anything more than kissing, so neither of us has an STI. Also there's been several situations where either one of us has had a coldsore, and when that happened, we avoided oral sex altogether b/c we knew of the dangers. if my bf had had sex/given oral sex to anyone he would have told me. i know that may be difficult for you to understand, but this is how our relationship works. just to say that im 100% sure we're both clean of any STI's.

as for the pill, i'm not experiencing any side effects, i just thought that after a while it was dangerous to be on it. but you said 30 years was a long period to stay on it for and ive only been on it for about 1 and a half years, so i think im gonna stay on the pill. thanks for your reply. but i dont need to use condoms if im on the pill, due to the trust held between me and my bf

 

It’s a good thing that you trust each other & you are able to talk about anything but I think you are a fool if you trust him 100%. I’m not saying this because I want to hurt you or that your too young or any of that shit that parents normally give you, I’m saying this from experience.

I was with a guy at 16, I was his first, he was my first, we were in love. We talked about everything and anything, we were very open with each other & found it very easy to talk about sex & its implacations. We talked about STI’s, pregnancy, periods everything. We didn’t use condoms, I was on the pill & though it was safe not to use condoms as we were both virgins.

11 months into the relationship, everything was going fine, we both happy & very sexually active enjoying good sex. Then I started getting bad pains while going to the toilet & a thick discharge. I went to the GP as I was worried, I was diagnosed with having chlamydia. i sat and chatted with my bf for hours, I didn’t tell him about the chlamydia, I wanted to find out if he had been sleeping around behind my back. I had no reason to believe he had, nothing in the relationship had changed. In the end I had to ask him out right & told him I had an STI. He denied sleeping with anyone else other than me. in the end it was his mother that actually told me that he had addmitted to her that he had slept with two other people behind my back, yet he still denied sleeping with someone else. You can talk to some one & they can say all the right things, all the things you want to hear but it might not neccessaly be the truth.

Now please don’t take this as me saying that your bf is cheating on you or anything like that, I’m am saying don’t trust anyone 100%, you will soon be hurt if you do think like that. being so young & both being virgins when you met it is likely that as you grow older & your interests change that you will drift apart. Or what if he went on a night out, got abslutley plasted & ended up having a one night stand, it happerns, people make mistakes & try to hide them or forget about them.

If you arnt going to use condoms, do one thing please, go to your GUM clinic every 3 months just to keep your mind at ease & to be on the safe side.

 

I know where Torz is coming from. I've done enough clinics where I've had to explain to the lady/girl seeing me that she's got an STI and that her bf has to have given it to her.. and seen many relationships break up. At the end of the day each of us has to assess the level of trust we are willing to give to our closest ones and hopefully they will keep that trust. Some can't/won't. That's life.. good luck choosing a good apple.

As for alternative contraception that doesn't need to be taken everyday. Well there's depo-provera (and lots of ladies use it without any problems).. the coil and the new implant (Implanon - inserted under the skin of the arm and works for 3 years.. easily removed in case of side effects).

the pill is thought to be safe and in fact has recently in the UK had it's license of use extended from ladies under 36 to ladies under 51... i.e. u can use it in the absence of any contra-indications (smoking/obesity/clotting disorders/high blood pressure) up to the age of 50. it wouldn't have been given that license had there been any problems with being on it for a long time.

 

thanks for your posts, torz and akhc. i know i still have to address the fact that there is a chance things like that could happen. i guess me and my bf are just so much in love i dont want to ever think that anything like that could come between us. i think maybe i could be avoiding that in some way... i was thinking about condoms for a long time anyway, not necessarily as a protection against STI's. around 'that' time of the month im always nervy that maybe my period wont show up and... well... basically id feel a lot safer if i was using another form of contraception (even though i know condom is only 97% effective and the pill is almost 100%). it doesnt mean that i trust my bf any less though. i guess im saying thanks for really opening my eyes to these important issues. thankyou for your posts.