Hey folks, recently found this place and saw a few people similar to myself here getting advice, so I thought I would try too. So my gf went to a concert a month ago with her bestfriend and the 2 guys, and her bsf found one of the guys and my gf being...very close. He was hugging her from behind, hands on her waist (her waist is very sexy, and the crop-top she was wearing only makes it sexier), and had his head on her shoulder (his view if he looked down would've been amazing, so no wonder) while she put her hand on his, her head on his chest, and grinding a little. Later on, my gf and him go back to get her jacket, and this time she's leading him back to the front, so I don't know what else they did up there. She told me about this a few days later, saying she only saw it in a friendly way. Since then, I saw more videos of my gf with the guys. One video from the concert kind of suggests she also initiated things. I saw a few other videos of them going clubbing a while ago, where my gf is dancing with one. Also saw a few pics of her sitting on the other one's lap and being close with him too. Thing is, I want her to go further with either/both of them. My gf wanted to hangout with her friends and I suggested that she invite one of the guys over, since the others aren't in town, and that means if he comes over they'll be home alone together... She said she'd think about dressing sexy for it but only since I asked. She's not very experienced sexually and I would never want to force her into any situation, especially not to fulfill a kink of mine, so what can I do to encourage her to be more sexually open with other guys from now on? Edit: I realized after seeing a reply I should've mentioned this: Both her guy best-friends used to also be my best-friends, and her and her friends know them well too, so no stranger-danger there.
Hmm...she seems comfy being touchy with them (more touchy than just friends lol) so maybe she'll go further. Just in general get her to dress more open but thats kinda hard since its getting cold where i live at least. Maybe get her to talk about her sex life with them and discuss her kinks. U said shes not experiences but is there anything she likes that would like turn her on or something if she did it with them?
She has dressed slutty when she went out with them two before (sundress, no bra, etc.) since she trusts them but this was before our break so they didn't do anything, unless she just saw it as friendly and forgot about it. I'll try that second suggestion, she gets sex advice from one already but I'll ask her to go further. The things she likes most are kissing and giving head, both get her really wet, I'd love to watch her do these with them. Maybe next time she'll progress to making out but I'm not too sure.
Sal, these are guys, so leave it up to her. If you appear to push her into some kind of physical closeness alone with one or both of them and if she gets date-raped or worse in the process, both you and she will probably blame you, not without reason. Let her know that you're OK with whatever she does with guys, but leave what she does entirely up to her. Encouraging her to get closer to these guys whom you really don't know (one or both of them may be sociopaths with a freezer full of body parts) is not a good idea. When you are together, you and she can make these decisions about what is safe and sane together. When you are apart, just letting her know that you don't expect her to be sexually monogamous with you is enough.
Whoa whoa whoa, appreciate your concern, but it's nothing like how you fear it is. I should've mentioned this in the post: I know both of the guys, she knows them, her friends know them, they used to be my best friends too and the only reason they are not anymore is because I moved and we talked less. They would never try to force themselves onto her, rest assured, and I would never even think of putting her in that situation. I was concerned about this too, which is why I'm encouraging her with the 2 people I already know/trust well and not random guys she meets. So any ideas that I can suggest to her?
Here's a suggestion. Distance does not make the heart grow fonder. Therefore leave it go. Your posts keep indicating you want to watch her have sex with your best friends. Well, if she were to do that you wouldn't see it because you are apart. Plus it's what you want right now. You said you are taking a break. Break it off, let it die, and she will make her decision if she wants to fuck either or bother these guys. Besides if it happens you won't be around to see it anyway.
I get that LDRs don't work for some people, but we've made it clear we love each other and want to stay in the relationship after the break, so no, we won't be breaking it off, neither her nor me want to. I won't see her having sex with them, but her telling me about it is good enough for me, besides I don't think she would go that far and I am not telling her to do that much either. Like I said earlier, just making out or some bigger things like giving head is plenty, if she's okay with it of course. I'm just looking for hints or clues I can give her to allow her to open up sexually, and hopefully a benefit of that would be her trying things with her 2 guys friends.
I mean its good that u are confident in ur relationship. I have a bf who started off like u so i might be able to help but ur gf is very different to me and remember all girls are different, don't push her too much. How does she respond when you mention this to her? Does she like it or does she shut it down?
She does the typical "stooopp" and laughs it off when I tease her with them. She knows one of them used to like her, so I've made jokes about it before and she is comfortable with that. Sometimes when she video calls me while she's out with them, one of them (the one that likes her) is playing with her barefeet or tickling her, which she sees as friendly but it's nice to watch. However, if I bring up anything directly sexual related to her and them, she says "well I wouldn't know, they're just my friends" or something like that, so I stop.
