HELP PLEASE got some generic mscontin 100mgs. total waste to cook until

ah man ive been on methadone for 3 years. At the beginning when i started they let you go up as high as you wanted and i was still in that "want to feel high phase" so i kept saying i needed more and i ended up at a "SOLID" dose of 140mg which was highly uneeded. Anyways last year i weened myself down to 6mg over time which was pretty bad and after not seeing an opiate of any kind for 3 years for some reason my weed guy had 40mg ocs and they were just about to go off the shelves so i got a few because methadone no longer would block the opiate and ahh the feeling came back again.
2 weeks later i was dealing H and banging H for about 2 months until i finally stopped and got my dose raised back up to 35mg(still low dose). Anyways I've detoxed off oxys probably 7 times counting a full 7 day detox and relapsed alot, after countless relapses i went on methadone. Suboxone wasn't in western canada yet but I knew about it and i really tried to get on it but no doctor here would prescribe it so i went on methadone and a year later my methadone doc got his licence for subs. Anyways long story short been on opiates since 2006, really glad im on methadone right now though due to the OC's in my area are 120$ an 80mg OC. Theres no way in fucking hell i would pay that much for an 80mg, and theres no way i would pay 80$ for the 80mg OxyNeos. I used to pay 25$ for my 80s hah and that was expensive.
It's funny though as soon as i heard about oxys going off the market i went oh well watch Edmonton is going to flood with Heroin now and sure enough heroin is everywhere. I could never find heroin in edmonton before oxies went out but now its easy.

And ive already lost everything dude, im trying to get into a rehab now but its a bitch when ur on methadone. I'm really messed up, so depressed. I need to get in somewhere fast or ill just snap one day

 

and i dont inject the GEL when i shoot pills, its impossible to inject the GEL i'm not retarded lol. I wasn't talking about OxyNeos either i have only had a 40mg Oxyneo before and i was going to attempt the crisping method and when i got the hose clamp out and tried to start shaving it was so fuckin hard so i just said screw this and chewed it. Nowhere near as good as old oxies but there is no way id go through that hole fuckin routine for every pill. My friends all tried doing it and ended up blowing up microwaves and putting hot plates in freezer and haveing them shatter ahah. I keep telling them give up and go on methadone or suboxone but they won't, its sad.