HELP! My sex life is boring!

Hello,
I’ve got to a point where I’m horribly frustrated. My wife doesn’t satisfy my needs sexually. I love her and want to get to a good place together, but I can’t get anything to work, I’ve tried;

-Being spontaneous and explaining what I need (made her angry at me)

-giving her space and not being pushy so she can instigate it when she’s happy (she doesn’t instigate anything at all)

-talking about it (she just complains that she doesn’t have as high a sex drive as me, we go months between sex and even then it’s always the same position with me doing all of the work, she lies there and that’s it. She fell asleep when she was giving me a rare handjob the other night.
I like to think I’m good at sex and am willing to do anything to make her satisfied!)

-wanking online (kinda scratches the itch a bit but isn’t what I lm craving)

What can I do? Any advice would be great and thankyou for reading this massive rant

 

Do you engage in foreplay or is it "wham bang thank you maam!"

 

I’d love to do foreplay! She doesn’t seem to want that, even when I do something just for her without expecting anything back! Pretty sure I’m good at it.

 

Be in your masculinity.
Sex is the man's fault.
She wants sex to be your fault.

Being horribly frustrated is being weak minded , needy and not in your center.

Saying how you feel comes off as weak most of the time. Stay positive, take charge, be confident with your feelings, be indestructible. She wants you to be in your masculine mode all the time.

Women want to be seduced into sex, meaning it's you coming up behind her in the kitchen, kissing the back of her neck, nibbling on her ear, yer hands slowly scrolling up to her breasts then fucking the shit out of her on the kitchen table.

Or

In the bedroom, starting in missionary then flipping her over, ass up high, head pushed into the pillow, one hand on her clavicle/shoulder blade and the hand opening her ass check with thumb massaging/playing with her A-hole. Talking dirty. Pounding her snatch , ballz banging on her clit.

Her sex drive is low cause you're not getting her cravingly wet by being a man who knows what he wants and how to get it.

You should've been eating her out with a shocker whilst yer getting a hand job talking dirty to her..... would've been a way better outcome.

Never wank to online porn. Use what's in your mind and think about all the dirty sex with yer wife. Use that time wanking to come up with clever ideas, public sex, kitchen sex, car sex, shower sex, up against the wall sex, dirty talk......ect.

Be a James Bond 007. Do you think he'd be going through all this rhetoric? Noooo, he'd be gettin da pussy using charm, wit and being creatively clever

 

CoC ... Concentrate on the clitoris. Lick it, suck it .... Nipples must be sucked ...

 

yup, I do that!

 

How would you suggest to be more masculine? These are all things I’ve done!

 

I've run out of ideas man. Have you asked her why she doesn't want sex?

 

Seek help from a life coach.
He or she will guide you on to work on yourself being confident and how to stay in your masculine center. Then they'll teach you how to deal with others keeping in your masculine center.

Tell your wife your gonna see a life coach to improve yourself. She might get instantly turned on looking forward to the new and better you.

 

Yeah, this is my thing. She says that her sex drive is just not as high as mine! Which I can respect, but once a month is lucky! She suggested I wank myself off more often!
This is my dilemma, nothing seems to work! From being all caveman to allowing her to find her way does nothing. I’ve talked about it, had therapy, tried different things and nothing seems to do anything. Sick of feeling frustrated all the time!
I do all the housework, really look after her and treat her right! I don’t leave her wanting anything and can’t think of anything else I could do!
Resigning myself that she just doesn’t wanna have any form of sex any more!

 

You say you do all the housework, does she go out to work by any chance? I know my wife is totally stressed at work at the minute and that doesn't help, could it be something like that? How old are you both? Age can have an effect on it too, then there's always the unthinkable, is she getting it elsewhere, another point to consider.
There's loads of reasons, sometimes it's the way they're brought up, years ago women thought sex was only for 'breeding', often this was quite true, due to the lack of freely available contraception sexual intercourse resulted in a pregnancy, quite often too it was seen as a strictly male thing, something only a man got pleasure from, no self respecting woman would admit to enjoying sex, lest she be labelled a harlot!
It may be possible, depending on her age, that it's something along those lines that she's picked up from her mother, it does happen.I think a sit down and a full and frank discussion is needed here, as regarding therapy, I don't know if you both went, but if you didn't it can actually do more harm than good in these situations. There's nothing more annoying that someone saying, " well, so and so says do this" or "so and so says do that", it's a bit like cooking, there's nothing more guaranteed to wind up a woman than when she lets say, makes a steak pie, and you say "well it was ok, but not as good as my ex made", or my mother, or whoever else you mention.

 

Waking isn't the answer dude. Your wife must be getting it off with another guy. If she is then you will probably have grounds for divorce.

 

Oh really. She MUST be.
What a dumb thing to say.

 

Just stop being a bitch who craves sex. It's stupit. Your wife probably knows it's stupid.

Treating it like it's the be all end all of existence is dumb. Grow up. You don't have needs. You're a man. Sex is dumb..

 

OP, Pete's advice is all A star. If that doesn't solve it, you'll have to accept having sex rarely, or find someone new. This seems a common scenario and my theory has always been that women these days aren't taught how to choose men, and we seem to have lost our instinct for it.

 

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Bumpkin.....I thought so too..... but I figured someone reading the thread might get some good advice to use.

I try....

 

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Really? Don't read that in it at all.
Tone is genuine.
Bullshit Ops don't usually respond to responses.

Sometimes people make an account purely to ask advice about an issue, or vent. It's not so strange it would be his first post.

 

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