Help For My Girlfriend

Hey All
Posting for my girlfriend. We have been dating for almost a year and she is certainly the love of my life, we are also in college. We were both virgins when we first started dating, and we are now sexually active. We were certainly late bloomers.

We are spending two months of seperation and that means sexting. However, she can not masturbate and has never been able too. Whenever she tries she gets upset and frustrated. She says she can not give herself pleasure. She gets frustrated and rarely wants to even try because she says she can't do it. She sends me plenty of pictures and I am able too with no problem. But it's one sided and I would like if it was something we could both experience together. It also doesnt help that I am a fitness model and I feel that because she can't masturbate about me I almost feel like years of hardwork aren't paying off and that im unappreciated. I am sure there are people right now looking at my modeling pictures who are able to get off no problem.

Frankly, I know every person can masturbate and I believe it is healthy and she needs to learn how too. I believe it would help our sex life.

Anybody have suggestions? Ladies, especially your help is appreciated.

 

Well it sounds like she's never tried to use toys or anything.
How much money do you two have?
I'd go spend like a few hundred on different toys and vibes and all the good stuff,show her the fun side?
I don't get how you could get upset or frustrated but yeah, sounds unenjoyable and you need to find an enjoyable solution. Toys.

 

I've told her I will buy her anything she wants regarding toys regardless of price. Fitness modeling has paid well. She says no, if she's going to do it she wants to use her fingers.

 

Ok then. Well what's the actual problem, what's not enjoyable?

 

The actual problem is that she feels no pleasure when she does anything to herself and she gets frustrated to the point that she stops completely. After trying a few times she is just frustrated and she has decided she just can't do it herself although I know this isnt true.

 

Had a girlfriend once who had this same thought about not being able to do it herself.

I tried everything I could think of, nothing worked until eventually, something did.

we masturbated together, but completely did our own things. We didnt touch each other at all. We could look, we could make noise, but ONLY touch yourself. Something else we started to add to this, was we had to match tempo. If I wanted to go faster, she'd have to go faster, if she wanted slower, Id have to slow down.

two things happened the first night. No. Three things.

1-she finally was able to masturbate on her own after that(and she became obsessed with it for a while)
2-I personally had one of the best manually achieved orgasms ever
3-we found a new thing to do in the bedroom. became one of our favorite ways to prep for sex.

 

I am happy to hear somebody was able to find a solution. We will certainly try this, I am sure she will be hesitant at first but perhaps it will work. Thanks for your help!

 

yeah, being fit is totally pointless beyond your girlfriend being able to masturbate to you.

 

That has absolutely nothing related to the purpose of this. What's your point bud? Do you workout twice a day and eat eight to ten meals with the perfect amount of carbs, fats, protein, and calories? Didn't think so. I can make my fitness lifestyle whatever I want it to be and at the moment it's nice to pay for my college, have a sports car, and a house. Not bad for a 22 year old.

 

It sounds like your girlfriend might have some guilt associated with masturbation. She might feel she is doing it just to please you (not that there isn't anything wrong with that) but she needs to learn to please herself first.

I would suggest that she do a kind of ritual when she is alone...

Take a nice warm bath to relax.

Turn on music that sounds sexy to her and light some candles.

Take some time to relax... deep breathing, meditation, self talk, affirmations...

The not worry about if she is going to cum or not... in fact, it's better if she doesn't.

She should just spend the time (as much as possible) touching herself; her breasts, her nipples, her outer labia, inner labia.. not even worrying about her clit or gspot...

Just touch and rub and see what feels good.. try different types of pressure... lighter, firmer, stroking, circles, with no goal in mind.. Just touching and enjoying the process.

It's not going to happen just after one time, but many times... Then when she is ready, have her explore her clit and deep inside of her vagina.

She might suddenly discover that she has become very aroused and very wet.

I would also suggest that she examine her beliefs about sexuality and see if that is hampering her orgasms. Have her learn more about how her body works and about sex in general, read erotic literature, things like that.

Time and patience can make a huge difference.

 

Best reply I have received yet. She probably does have guilt, I have asked her and she says she doesn't but that would explain alot. Thank you

 

My heart bleeds for you and when your head shrinks down to the size of your pecs maybe I could offer some real advice. Until then keep beating and admiring yourself in the mirror...

 

It's often very hard to face and to answer, she might not even be aware of the guilt and where it came from. I blocked mine for a very long time. Once I faced it, things changed for me very dramatically.

 

I dont even know what this means. Head shrinks down to your pecs? What?? My head doesnt have far to travel btw my upper chest is pretty full.

 

my point was that it's silly to say that being fit is basically a waste of time unless your girlfriend can masturbate to you.


my new point is get over yourself.

 

Well, his is exactly how she is able to manage you.

You'll work it out eventually, just remember it is your fault

 

I never said it was a waste of time, you need to do some re-reading.

Sounds like somebody is self conscious about their personal image. I suggest you lose some pounds and tone up some so you can be happy with yourself instead of taking your insecurities out on others who literally look like Greek Gods among men.

 

What's my fault? You use "it" alot which makes your message hard to determine. Basic rules of english suggest refrain from "it" .

 

Do you go down on her by any chance? If you do and she enjoys this you could get her to experiment with rubbing her clit a little? I'm not sure how you can't when someone is going down on you lol I always have my fingers working.

 

Admin/Mod please lock/delete section. This is just turning into a pointless debate that has nothing to do with the point of the original post.