Hi, My girlfriend and I have been trying to have sex for quiet some time now, actually to be specific we tried three times. We do loads of foreplay and she is wet when I'm trying to penetrate but I can't seem to get it inside. She says that its too painful and asks me to stop. We are using lot's of lube, and have tried doing it in missionary position as well as one when she is on top, but still no difference. I read once that maybe if she takes deep breathes it will help, but we tried that and it doesn't seem to help. It's worth noting that we are both virgins and that she is kind of petit, also I think I am kind of thick down there... Any suggestions? Cheers.
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did you even try the search function? How did you wind up here with this as a first timer question? Do you really want a bunch of patchouli scented hippies telling you what to do with a glob of lube?
Cheers? Glen is that you? How old are you two? If you're too young you might need to wait until you're older; however, if you're too old it might be growing shut.
All right, serious advice. I guessing none to very little sexual experience, here. Sometimes, when nervous, a woman will clench. It's self protective, but it equals ouch. Part of being ready, really ready, is relaxing the pelvic floor. At least for entry. Sometimes, an orgasm will help. I'm not in that lucky group, so when my partner of biological gifts and I go at it, we make a calm down time for me after a foreplay orgasm. Otherwise it just sucks. But, the orgasm is helpful biochemically, allowing more receptivity. Since the issue occurs with lube, I'm guessing girth is the issue. It usually is. Try a water based AND a silicone based lube. At the same time. If you aren't using condoms because of BC pills or an IUD, try coconut oil as well. I wish Mr. Biological Gifts and I had tried dilation, as it was too much for me. A long session of digital insertion would have helped. It still can be too much, six years later, so a partner of such a guy has to really be into it. There's no "just for him" really. I've got to be on board and frankly, wanting it. There will be micro tears. It goes with the territory. Extra credit for kissing it better.