Hello forum, I’m new here, first post.

I’m gonna announce right now that I’m guilty of not reading thru your forum and searching for some answers to my questions before even asking or explaining myself.
Simply because every where I look, they want money just to simply ask. And I’m a bit exasperated from the search and seizure to find some friendly advice.

A little about myself,
I’m divorced twice. Have kids I love more than I love myself. But never have takin the moment to move foreword with who and what I know I am. Probably out of fear from their judgment most of all.
I love women, I love all most every women, a pretty face or a pretty soul gets me aroused and I find myself attracted so deeply that I lust for most all of them. But I’m also erotically attracted to a healthy man’s body and cock when sculpted so perfectly.
I’ve been fortunate enough to play the role of the man in many many MFF encounters. Yet only one MMF. And I find myself begging for more of what I’ve had the least.
I’m not cocky, I’m not infused with my own intentions. But I know I have options. I consider myself average. But I’m hit on by men and women regularly. And for that reason, I know I’m considered attractive by face and personality. My body is average, my dick is 8 and cut.
My confidence is minimal, because I don’t know how to approach this.
I know what I want, yet no clue how to pursue it.
I’ve been oral with a male, with my wife. Or ex I should say, to be clear about my status. And I can’t stop thinking about it. Yet it was about ten years ago. And nothing since.
I fantasize regularly about more MMF, and MFF as well. But my hang up is the MMF all day long. To a point I want to try it alone.
I’ve recently been approached by a married women that plays herself, and she plays solo. But I told her I’m not about that. I’m not out to hurt anyone as she was doing it behind his back and begging him to join after he found out from her drunk self guilt.
She fell for me hard and tried to convince her husband to get on board. And the three of us talked and met. And he got cold feet. And I understand why he did.
And I guess my question to the talking heads is pretty simple. How do I meet someone that don’t judge me and wants similar reality without completely exposing everything about myself.
I feel like I’m close and ok with it. I’ve confided in a few people. But to just come out is obviously a brutal subject. But I’m tired of ignoring the attractions I feel and snubbing the attraction directed so blatantly towards me.

I just want to meet someone to helps ease this process, that I’m attracted too, and feel safe talking too, and playing with.

I’m sorry if that’s a tall order. But any words of kindness and acceptance and guidance would be much appreciated. I’m dying to play, yet on the back side of not fearing the repercussions.

I can’t find any place to talk about this. Every time I engage in a conversation, they want money. And I’ll go to a fucking bar and buy someone drinks and speak face to face before I pay a damn robot to give me fake advice. So please, if this message board is real, throw me something. I just need to engage in a real conversation without it being polluted by assholes and fake money. And I do have money, that’s not the issue. I just need authenticity.

 

Welcome.
Intimacy exists on a spectrum; it doesn't have to be all or nothing. So is vulnerability; might be a little, might be a lot. How to be intimate to the degree necessary to get our (and their) needs met without allowing our anxiety and fears to sabotage the process is something we all wrestle with, and is a skill we can hone with practice. However, we have to open ourselves up to the possibilities first; both the possibilities of intimacy and the possibilities of being hurt. It's a package deal; you can't have the former without the latter. You say that men regularly come on to you (I dislike the term "hitting on", with it's connotations of violence. You might be surprised at how much words matter on a subliminal level). If you're interested, actively welcome their attention, and reciprocate their openness and vulnerability, approximately to the same degree as theirs. It's not confessional or a marriage proposal; they simply want to get to know you. Remember; most people are just as insecure as you are, they just don't know it. If you reflexively clam up in fear; they'll automatically personalize it and experience it as rejection, and intimacy dies on the spot. Be gentle with each other.
If you're not interested, graciously decline, and be grateful that someone finds you attractive. Life is vanishingly short; youth is a limited time offer. Step off the edge and embrace what it has to offer while you can. You will come to regret it if you don't, much sooner than you think.

 

I can’t thank you enough for the words you just shared. And I do believe I’m further down that path than I may of expressed. Everything you said hits home and related to where I am. And in no way shape or form do I not feel flattered and welcomed and invited to who I am when I am approached by a male, nor do I take it for granted like I once did.
I’m sorry the phrase “hit on” is considered offensive. That’s a first for me, but I’ll put that in the vault for future reference.
My goal is to find a place to simply talk with like minds and share stories and educate myself without feeling like I’m being used as a pawn for a monthly utility bill.
I’m at the point where I’m open enough to meet people and not feel like I’m looking over my shoulder. My confidence and self worth no longer allow me to feel shamed. Everyone has their own lifestyle they find exceptable without recourse. And I’ve found mine.
My kids are my last hurdle. Thank you very much for the reply. It was exactly that for what I was seeking. I just need conversation at this point. I’ve come as far as I can on my own, I need to mentally and physically engage with others at this point to understand better where I land with who I think I am and how I am perceived by the culture I belong to. And I’m sorry if the way I’m expressing it doesn’t feel genuine to you or anyone else, but again please understand, this is the first time I’m knocking down any obstructions to find my way and meet people that can help me understand why my comfort level might be lower or higher then I think it is.

 

Also, don't worry too much about being judged; just take it as a given that you will be. We all judge each other all the time; hopefully with generosity and great compassion. If you and I are getting to know one another, in my ADD way I'm really not attending to your job, or salary, or the car you drive or the neighborhood you live in. However, I'm very interested in how you treat our waitress, our barkeep, or the checkout person at the grocer's. How do you respond when you see a homeless person, or a woman in hijab? Do you like dogs? How do you drive in heavy traffic when you're late? These are all value judgements which inform my choices of how much intimacy I want to share with someone. What we're really asking each other with these empirical observations is "am I safe with you?"

 

Spot on

 

Hello and welcome from someone fairly new and still finding their feet.

 

Ty