hello all.

i think people need to give OP a break

nothing wrong with reaching out to people somehow someway

this may have given OP the strength to find help in person

 

"could be worse"
"how?"
"could be raining."

things can always be worse, that part of what living life is about, making choices that avoid the worst situation. we finally applied for govt. help, and they denied us on EVERYTHING even chp+ for my 3 year old. ALL kids are supposed to get covered under that. and somehow we survive on one income. life isn't great, but we are working towards a big dream (a cob cottage and small farm) so every little effort is a step in the right direction.

i want to point out too that my hubby is having a hard time right now, emotionally. i think the root of his discomfort, and probably many other people's, is a lack of productivity. he has nothing to show for his 'work' hes a security guard. he comes home and relaxes with video games. he has no physical hobby that he engages in. i make clothes, and rugs, and quilts etc. i can look at the finished product and feel proud that i accomplished something. it makes me feel good to know that i can do something to help myself too. i have been bitching about getting rugs for years. since i havent gotten any, i learned to make them. now i have a great homemade rug in my kitchen.

ive already posted many of the things ive overcome in life, so im not going to dredge through that again now. get a hobby that doesnt record your success in 1's and 0's. and please don't suck the loving energy out of people who want to help. have the courtesy to respond, to reciprocate. people tend to care less once they realize they are talking to the wall.

 

i don't think you should do it.

please? ):

 

well i don't care any less about OP, no matter if they come back here and post or not, i just hope it's because they are finding help or at least pushing thru these times

i still support and care about OP eace:

 

Of how it can be worse think of this way. You don't have any debilitating mental disease. I assume you probably physically healthy, and you live in a first world country. Whatever is bad right now can be fixed.

 

just remember people have lived through MUCH worse things that you are going through right now, and i know that for a fact.

 

Thank you all for your words of encouragement.

I can see very well how some of you may have felt that the purpose of my posting this was for the sole purpose of gaining some kind of attention. This wasn't the main intent of my thread, but in some ways, you are correct.

I didn't make this post to be malicious, to be funny or to make a statement.

In some ways I would say I did need this kind of attention.

For those of you who have experienced what I have explained has been happening to me personally, you may know first hand how hard it is to talk to someone about it, even someone over the phone whom you do not know, for example the hopeline.

I still feel as if I cannot reveal myself on here because of some responses which have made me feel far more uncomfortable than I imagined they'd make me, even though in my heart of hearts I truely expected some responses of that nature. Which is why I made an alias name.

Syd, I stated in my earlier post that I am not suffering from any kind of terminal or life threatening illness. What I suffer from is something that is extremely common and extremely treatable if handled correctly and at the first signs of problem.

However, I let myself sink into a state of mind in which I was no longer equipped to handle myself and was too ashamed to ask for help. This, unfortunately, is what led me down a path from small-time common mental illness to a debilitating disease.

There are no excuses for what I have done. I did not have to let myself sink this low.

And I did not have to post this thread, but I feel like it is something that I needed to do. And it really did help me.

After posting this thread, I decided to take a nap and process. When I awoke, I found myself home alone and in the dark, which my family knows I am desperately afraid of both. This lead me to have a pretty bad psychotic break, and when my family came home and found me laying on my floor, I found the balls to explain to them what happened.

(I wasn't on the floor for any kind of dramatic effect, it turns out while freaking out I broke my toes some how? I probably didn't feel it when it happened and after the fact I didn't care enough to get up. D: )

I decided that this was the time to explain to my mother how I was feeling.

I've decided to see help. I'm not going to be in any kind of inpatient clinics because they require needles and if there's one thing I hate its needles :/

So I'm going to see a psychiatrist Thursday to discuss my options.

Thanks, all.

 

Good for you! (not sarcasm)

 

OP, i am so happy to hear that you told your mother and that you have plans to see a doctor. maybe you could also consider therapy/counseling. either way, you are taking a step FORWARD and that is AWESOME glad to hear this. please keep us updated when you can. eace:

 

Just tell us who you are. It's not like we know you in real life anyway.

And it's not like it would make me care anymore or any less..... Not that I don't care. I do care that your upset and shit... It just wouldn't make me care anymore if I knew which forumer you are. If that makes any sense lol.

PM me if you want.

 

Wow, I'm so glad you are seeking help It really takes courage to reach out for help, I'm proud of you!

 

I know you don't want to say but I'm just an ungodly curious son of a bitch especially considering the circumstances, but what exactly are you suffering from?

*edit*
I know you also don't want to reveal yourself, but perhaps you should consider making an anonymous aim screen name of one for msm or something and talk to the people who have been at that point. You're going to a psych you said which is a good start, but at the same time they can often be intimidating since you know they're trying to get into your head, I mean that's what we pay them for. Talking with people who share the common problem is often one of the best starts to a solution.

 

what the...

 

op...please no

 

ah shit I think i've narrowed down my ideas on who it is

 

I don't think we need to narrow down any ideas. If the OP wants to say who they are then let them do so on their own without any names about. If they want to talk about it they will talk about it. I would be fine if this person were to contact the admin and ask that the whole account and thread be removed if that person where to do so I am sure they would be fine with it.

 

is it me?

 

nah you're too happy, plus you wouldn't write out a note like that. you'd either just wouldn't, or write it more like "yo, i'm out dudes, later"

 

.