He broke contacts, because of past pain

agreed
what youare doing, lorna, is not going to make him want to talk to you
it make syou seem like a crazy person nad unapproachable

i think that soaring eagle has a very good idea in creating a very succinct letter, sending it to him, and simply leaving be til then. no forum postsa bout him. no pming him. just, find something else to talk about once you send that letter
(and if you were referring to me being "under 20" in an earlie rpost here, im not, but the sheer level of drama in this thread between you and riggs reminds me of 14 year olds)

 

I dont agree, I ma not unapproachable and do not sounds crazy, then you should have see what kind of things he wrote to me!!!

I am not going to send him any letter unless he talk to me, why should he read any of my letters? and if he does what does it help me if he doesnt answer me?
I am not interested.
I want him to tell me what is going on and why he dont want to talk to me and what it has to do with me if anything at all.
I am intitled to receive answers. To know why I am suffering, why he is mad at me why he makes me suffer why he humiliated me adn why he is cutting bridges.
I dont accept being treated like that and i dont accept being forced into cicumstances i didnt created but did all to prevent and to cool down the situation, and I do not accept to be ordered into silence nor to accept his choices as beingmine or as a divine command that i just have to follow.
I am here, I am an individual, I have my own meaning, I have my own purpose in life, and i will not be defeated just because he got a whims about htat,nor will surrender to his moods swings.
I seen enbough of them and i am not going just to say oh thanks oh please just make me suffer and dont tell me why and just drop me or dont talk to me and oh thanks i am sohappy with that..
NO!
He did, he got the responsability for his actions, he got to assume and expalin.
He keep saying in all forums he go to how important it is to talk together and to comunicate but i dont have seen him doing so in real life.
He avoid it.
But each time i read him saying that to others i just explode! because thats what he refused to do, not for this week only but for over 5 weeks! day aftwer day hour after hour!
He rather get distracted by anything else take up any neighbourgs personal problems and help them with it than looking at this one and doing something about it.
But to reproach me for things being like that and to cut communication because of me, when he told me a few days ago it was because sara threatened him to call the police if he was to talk to me again, and she also threatened me and even said she had already called the cub to get me arested because i talk to him and hse didnt wanted me to do so!!!
And i dont know why! and she was in this forum calling me hore and saying i looks like a man and am uggly and that my naked picture was all over the internet, and stuff crazy like that and that 2 days after that that he got al panicked ans worried about it and scared of her and a week later he cut all contacts with me saying i had hurted her????!!!!!!!!
I dont get it.
Do you?
I am tired of wearing the hat for other people wrong doings and completely absurd behaviour, and craziness, cause if I am crazy for trying to understand and asking for an explaination, what are they then??
And i agree about the level of drama and kids behaviour, but what the hell vcan i do but scream in the desert for some sense in it all and being the completely unheard voice of reason?
If kids shout at the kindergarden you can just smile and talk them to reason, when its adult all olook at it with tabou of not mixing and turn it into worse than it already is.
All he got to do is talk to me and be less suspicious of me, cause I think thats the core of the problem: he odesnt know whom to beleive ionto and got suspicious of me for reasons i still ignore... and thats why i cant talk to him.
Whatever i said remains unanswered.
And if i must just elt go and just ekt him do so and all that, why not him?
Why shouldnt he let go?
Why shouldnt he be the one to come to reason and talk to me then and explain to me?
Why shoudl he have more priviledges than i have?
Is he surhuman or am i underhuman??
He got to have the upper hands long enough and i had to follow this craziness long enough, and now he got to stop it and talk to me about it.
Like he should ahve since the 11-12th of may...
He ddint knew then it will end up that way.. but i knew him enough to know it was going the very wrong way..
He underestimated the power of control of some and the importance of communication, of real communication.
He had it with those/the one who screwed up his head but is reacting as if it was me and doing to me what he should have done to those /that person, to cut communication with´them. I even told him to do so for just a few days, so he could see if it didnt get better by doing so.
Beside if you think this is drama, know that it is only 1/10th of the whole story going on at the moment.
I will not get ordered into silence, and thats it. I have give in too much into his mind tricks and i wont do so anymore.
If he want to silence me he will have to shot me dead, cause i will never do so just because he tells me to.
He always wanted to make things more complicated than they had to, like here, all he got to do is the obvious, to talk. To just tell me whats the point with all this shit.
It seems to him to be the highest mountain he never climbed since he do all to avoid to have to.
And he dont even know why.

PS: I also send him pm who have absolutly nothing to do with this and did so even before this communication break down. he answered nothing or reproached me to do so.

 

I have told you in pm's to leave me alone. Please do so, thank you !

 

I am not talking to you but to others and if you dont like it thats none of my problem!

You never cared about others, you just act as if to get like by others, but you are never honnest and say lots of shit in their back!
Fake friend you are.
Fake lover too.



Beside you are only complaining because i didnt send you any PM, and it outrage you!

 

I told you I wasn't ready for another relationship at this time. You know why. I was honest with you. What you want from me, I can not give you, if I do, it is like using you. I don't use girls, Lorna. It will hurt you more if I do. Please understand and let this go. Thank you !

 

I( am not intersted in ahving a relationship wioth you and told you so since a very long time.

all that is a movie you are palying into your head and things you are saying when you talk to angel.
You di so in marsh and in april and now in june, but in between you told me the opposit.
You ar enot ready because of yoru ex that you told me in may you had forgotten complettely.
And to dont be able to do so, fdoesnt mean that you have to stop talking to me without telling me why-

An di have told you i dodnt want a relationship with you since many weeks now.
So you cannot use it. Listento yourself you are changing the reason why you stop to talk to me eacj and every wek, even every day,.
What about your story that you were scared of her then?
what about the story that i allegetly i had hurted someone?
what about all those lies??
iF YOU MEAN THAT WHAT OYU SAY NOW IS THE REAL REASON, THEN WHY YOU DIDNT TOLD ME SO?
hAVENT i TOLD YOU BEFORE THAT I WASNT INTERESTED IN RELATIONSHIP BUT IN FRIENDSHIP?
I have been writing it in this thread many times as well. Cant you read or listen?
beside qas far as i recall, the day you talk to her it was the day you were dead jealous of me for having go to training where there was men..

So now that you know that i am not interested in a love relationship with you but in friendship, what are you going to do, and why didnt you told me so before instead of making this huge drama for 5 weeks??

 

we are not saying mean things to you, only that your are overobsessing about a stiuation that we all mutually feEL you should terminate.you may never get the answers to why they won't talk to you and sometimes you jUST have to accept things for what they are and MOVE ON!!!!!can someone please close this thread, no matter how much we advise on this you keep responding with the same jargin.

 

so now that you have your answers can you move on and stop babbling.stop breaking your neck looking back, instead hold your head up high and move forward.

 

go away from here, you have been insulting me in another thread, do not like me personaly have no personal experience in relationship matters that can even remotly compare with this one, and have already been told to stay away from here.
for your lknowledge we are tlaking together again since days..

so you are a bit off


dont you think!?

you have been repeating endlessly that you dont understsand a word of what i am saying so how do you expect to be able to advise when you dont know what the matter is and dont even want to know and when you dislike me?

you got to move on, and stop infesting this place. Maybe you should look upon the definition of the concept of giving advices, and get yourself enlightened.

 

Not looking back is not like ordering a burger but like a surgery.
If it was that easy it wont have take him years and it wont have take me so much time to explain to him.
I have been telling him that for several months, but it isnt soemthing one do on purpose, more like soemthing one cant avoid to be dragged into.
Compare it to alcoholism, the theoretical and logical part are easy to grab, but the practical is another story.
Specialy if the reason for doing so is emotional. You will always meet analog emotional circumstances who will drag you into drinking again.
And here the similar circumstances are falling in love again..
awakening the previous wound.
One got to look at it and go to it organically, but it takes 2 to tango, and communicating was simply the most important clausule for him to can overcoem this. Talking about it. As long as he cant even name it, how do you expect him to can go over it?
But forget it, as you said so many time, you dont understand anything.

 

mclee,

you can not change another ...
what they choose, is theirs ... it's not yours.

But you can choose the way of how you react ... this is yours.

Sometimes the best advice to give, is to give none ... but be still and listen, and not feed the drama.

Sometimes it's all about to see that none is here out of the intent to hurt another ... but each is here to learn and grow exactly in the way they choose.

I hope some day the diamonds fall on all of us

Taking my own advice, shutting up again.

Much love

 

Wonderfull things you just said.. specially the diamonds..

Thanks again.

 

thats funny you are telling me to go away from here just like the people you're crying about told you to go away. and the reason i say i don't understand you is on an elementary level meaning your poorly thought out metaphors, grammatical errors, and spell checking leave alot to be desired. i fully understand the CONCEPT of your blabbery, and i deifnatley know the meaning of giving advice, you on the other hand don't know the meaning of recieveing advice.i don't dislike you .this is a forum where everyone has their opinions and ways of giving and receiving advice and it is apparrant that you not know the concept of this forum.and i am sorry you feel i cannot relate to such a complicated relationship as the one you have been describing here in this forum, but this kind of babbling and drama was something that i left behind when i graduated high school. as stated by myself and many others in this thread, why continue a relationship with someone who doesn't want it??i cannot imagine if you had a real tragedy occur in your life how many pages of a new forum you would waste.and trust me i will stay away from any more of your overdramatized and uncomprehensible post, it would be my pleasure.

 

This thread was to gt help for me not for you to begin a feud with me which is exactly what you have turned it into since long, and as the other people agreeing with you in your own view they are 2 males who dont have any experience in relationship and who consider all women to be prostitutes as their other posts in other threads show, so i am not going to take advices from people who have no experience at all and such narrow views.
The matter here is that you keep insulting the way i write and keep telling me you cant comprehend it and i do not need people like you in my life at the moment and if you had some common sense you will stop harrassing me as you do.
If all you see is babling and drama from high school and if high school is all you have experienced then why dont you just zip it once and for all?
You are spreading negativity where positivity was needed.
A mans dead wife and ex, isnt high school drama, and a man having a communication problem isnt me making drama but you didnt understood anything from the very beginning. Just calling me drama queen was a big big error on your part.
The alone wise guy here was the guy above and soaring eagle, and as long as you keep my thread away from its original intend to focus on you only and your problem with me i am not going to get the advices i am after.
And anyway, the case is now closed as we are talking together again, using my way, and not yours...

and none of my posts were ever uncomprehensible nor overdramamtised, they are all very logically builded and contain all necessary informations, you just are unable to can relate to this peculiar situtation as you dont have any references to can do so, and therefor should have stay out instead of coming with negative statements towards me.
One dont solve a problem by aggravating it, dont resolve a communication problem by not communicating as well, its much more deeper and subtile than that and you just dont know what you are talking about, all you know about are easy situations, like black and white, and relations are all but black and white. They are are in all the grey shades.

 

as clearly stated in all of my posts in this particular thread, i simply stated that if this person does not want to talk or have a relationship with you to spend your time not pining for answers rather to keep your head high and move on, i am sorry if you cannot write and make your points clear, i certainly am not the only one who cannot understand your posts.you wanted so much for this person to give you reasons and explantations which he did and you still kept whining...you became very defensive and started talking out your ass and quite frankly you are CONFUSED. HOW MUCH OF THE SAME ADVICE DO YOU NEED LORNA???AND LISTEN HERE i can assure you that the realtionships i have or have had were alot more complex than THE ONES THAT YOU POSTED HERE. when someone tells me they don't want a realtionship guess what I MOVE ON AND GET THE HINT..YOUR BANTERING AND RETORIC ARE TIRING, REPETITIVE AND BORING,,,, NEXT THREAD PLEASE......