Have You Ever Been Judged For Not Having Casual Sex?

There's so much hype on how promiscuous people judged.

Have you ever had things flip where you were questioned for just wanting to have sex within a loving relationship?

I have definitely been questioned, but those comments came from my promiscuous/polyamorous friends. My friends that are in long-term relationships or are looking for one don't care.

You can have a high sex drive, but sleeping around and hook-ups that end shortly isn't for everyone.

 

I've been judged about everything. There is no way you are going to ever make everyone happy. People want you to behave and think just like they do so that they can feel good about their own behavior and thoughts. It's been my experience that the people who are the most judgmental are the ones you have very little faith in their own choices and decisions.

 

its social pressure, people looking outward to validate their own actions.

 

True about people looking to validate their own actions. This has only happened me to recently where I started to meet more promiscuous people, and I find them to be some of the most judgmental and opinionated people I've met.

I'm sure some are very nice. I'm not generalizing.

 

I have a lot of people that have judged me for the way I am. I don't sleep around. I'm 28 I've slept with 5 women, all during relationships. Most friends say I'm weird but oh well. If we can't have a relationship I'm not fucking you

 

yeah, women sometimes judge me for not having sex with enough women. but then those women won't have sex with me, so what do you do?

 

Jeez... you can't win. Either you get judged for sleeping with a lot of people, or you get judged for not sleeping with a lot of people... In the end, why does it matter to anyone else who you sleep with?

 

It's not about who or how many people you sleep with. It's more about just a clash of values and peer pressure.

I kind of felt out of place with my promiscuous friends, because I was looking for a relationship and they didn't care. Hearing about about their drama made me stressed out.

When I'm around people that are in relationships or want one, I feel more relaxed and supported. People that are in relationships can introduce to someone that's also looking.

 

I think I've been judged for not having casual sex fast enough.... dunno, ain't seen her long enough to ask what I was judged for, since then.

Otherwise, I don't really have sex, so, who knows. Probably.

 

High five! Same here. Don't see the point in having sex before two people know they want a relationship with each other.

 

I have not ever been personally judged for not having casual sex, because I had plenty of casual sex prior to my long-term relationship. That being said, as a fully active sexual female I take a look at my best girlfriend. She is a non-sexual type premarital wise. She is waiting to have sex until she is married (this time around). She is not a virgin, but decided after a previous relationship that she wanted to be more holy and whole in her relationship with God. This has led her to 4 years without sex. I am not fond of this idea. I truly believe that it is key to both have sex with and live with your potential future husband/wife. I am so unbelievably happy with my now fiancé, because we experienced those things together. I do not make fun of her to her face, because that is disrespectful, but I definitely talk to my fiancé about how I believe she is making poor choices. This is also disrespectful, but my opinions will not change her mind. So, in a sense, yes I make fun of her, although I respect her. There are just sometimes that sex really matters and you need it to feel both connected and just plain relaxed after a long day! I don’t agree with others for not having sex before marriage, but this is my choice. But, I can’t say that if a man walked up to me in his young to middle aged stage of life and told me he was a virgin that I wouldn’t laugh….

 

Yes, I'm still in my first relationship and a lot of people told me that I was wasting years of my life because I apparently can't enjoy life like that and can't have fun with a serious and loving relationship at this age...(I'm 19 now and we started to seeing each others 4 years ago, now I have, gladly, more less comments about it)
I think some people just don't understand that not everyone thinks the same and wants the same things

 

i had a six year relationship when i was your age, and if i was your older brother i would have to agree that you are wasting some precious years, but at the same time, these are lessons that can only be learned and cant be taught.

i know your obviously in love right now and you are probably enjoying that. but there are only 2 paths for these types of relationships, get maried and stay togethher forever, or painful breakup.

if you stay together forever with this one girl, you will never experience other women and lose out on endless posibilities and adventures. if you break up with this girl, you will be socially lacking alot of experience that your single peers are probably expirienceing right now. so your going to come out of this relationship with less experience and thats going to make it hard when you find the next girl you like.

 

I'm a girl and yes I'm in love. I'm not one of those people who can have a relationship without love so I'm pretty sure I won't regret it when it'll be over. But my boyfriend and I agreed to let each other do what he/she wants, sexual experiences with other people for example (I'm his first girlfriend too), altought by now none of us has tried with someone else.
Everyone thinks differently, maybe I'll change later, but for me, i'm sure that i'm enjoying myself far more in this relationship than alone, or with somebody i don't love and i have (hopefully) still like 60 years so i've got plenty of time for possibilities and adventures aha

 

The only judgement that bothers me is from people who knew me before I got married. I always had a girlfriend and unfortunately being young and stupid cheated on a couple. I had a few cheat on me too. Even though I've been married 20 years still couldn't convince some long term friends I never cheated on her. I gave up a few friends over it, I don't need that bullshit.

I wasn't a "player" and it wasn't all of them, but being young and horny made some stupid decisions. One girl in particular I truly regret hurting even though our relationship wasn't going to make it. She didn't deserve it. I swore I'd never do it again. I grew up. Then I met my wife.

Now the only judgement I get is from people bitter about relationships or in bad marriages who don't like hearing I'm still in love with my wife and don't want or need anybody else. Today's her 44th birthday, I'm just laying here while she sleeps enjoying the sound of her breathing. But now I have the benefit of being a cranky old man so just don't give a damn what anybody thinks.

So no, I don't care if anybody says I need to be promiscuous. No, I don't. Now get off my lawn!

 

Unfortunately I think that in the world we live in today people get judged for things they do or DON'T do and that includes not having casual sex. I am now happily married so obviously not having casual sex but prior to being married I never was interested in casual sex for so many reasons, however when I was judged for it, it was more a judgement on my faith and religion. While being a Christian made me less interested in casually hooking up, it was not ever the only reason. I always kept the view that if I was in a loving committed relationship that I could see would move towards marriage then sex was ok and a natural thing, but I just never felt an urge to have sex casual because of how intimate it feels for me. Since I have always maintained that view I have only had sex with two partners and have certainly been judged for that. I actually am not entirely sure what provokes people to view that as a negative thing. I will say that I think my husband has had a lot more judgement and peer pressure than myself regarding this topic and I wonder if that is because society finds it more socially acceptable (and expected) for men to have casual sex than women. What I have learned in life is that everyone is going to have an opinion and might even project that on you and the best thing you can do is have confidence in your decisions and not take it personally.

 

not openly, anyway...but probably.....
but that is ok.....everyone has to be who they are.......you can only be the best you........love that quote....

 

maybe find better friends?

 

I've been questioned, but not full on insulted. I have encountered some people who wonder why a person my age hasn't experienced more in this area of life. They either think I'm lying, they feel bad for me, or they're just confused. Maybe it's all three for some.

 

Best advice. Even in this thread total strangers are judging one another. Sure, judging someone regarding their sexual experiences is not a productive and positive thing a human can do, but there are a lot of things about the human condition that isn't 'good', for lack of better wording. It doesn't make anyone good or bad, better or less than. It's just something that a lot of us do because we're just humans. All we can do is catch ourselves and remedy the situation before we do it and if it's done to us, just don't take it personally.