Hard time

I am 67, pretty new to having sex with men. I have gotten a few blow jobs. My problem is getting hard and staying hard to actually fuck a guy. I take viagra, get hard as a rock with anticipation of being with a guy, we make out fondle each other he sucks me, but for some reason I cannot get hard enough to penetrate. I assume it is anxiety, any suggestions how I can overcome this issue? I have no problem with my wife.

 

I'm guessing nerves, I don't always get rock hard on demand.
Kinda probably wanting to venture out more but then nerves or being elsewhere in my thoughts don't help.

 

That is very interesting Papa, that position could be a factor in erectile issues. I guess there are all kinds of things that affect the minutia of our arousal levels moment to moment. So I agree in Papa's advice, and will take it if it happens to me again.

So I'm admitting that it has happened to me: super hard throughout the one hour of all kinds of foreplay with this guy once in 2020, but when I was ready to fuck him in doggy position, and struggled with the condom, I lost my erection, and despite both of our trying to get and keep it hard enough, it always instantly softened a little too much as I approached his hole. Being self-conscious is the worst. I certainly love doggy position, because I am in love with the look of an asshole opening (on a man), but maybe there are other factors, like the somatic position of my own body, that can affect my erection. Since I was loving all the body contact play and kissing him, maybe missionary would've worked better for me that night after that initial fail at penetration, or, like you say Papa, maybe him on top. Hmmmm...

 

Maybe try s thin non-latex condom and mutual massage before sex?

 

I’ve had a similar experience recently. The guy I have met with 4-5 times told me he wanted me to top him. Now I have bottomed a few times and enjoyed it but have never topped. So he was sucking me and was getting pretty wound up and commented on how hard I was and said he really wanted me to fuck him. Well by the time we both got into position I lost my erection and wasn’t able to maintain it long after he sucked me again. So I’m in the same position as you. I guess thats why there are bottoms and there are tops.

 

Might I make one more suggestion. You might try cock rings. Once I get hard it helps to keep me hard. I've had some luck with them.
So many things that sometimes we aren't even aware of can affect our libido. Age, diet, alchohol consumption, prescription drugs, what kinda day you had at work, like Papa said, nerves. Viagra was touted as the wonder drug and to a major extent it is but I've found it doesn't always work when I want it too. I'm sure you'll figure it out with time

 

Talk to a urologist about options. Might want to try a different drug like cialis. Or a penis pump (get an FDA approved model). Or injections like Trimix which are a bit daunting at first but work really well with most men.

 

Good Advice Fred.

 

i have tried all the drugs and the cock injections nothing worked so i will stick to eating pussy and sucking cock and mabee one day getting fucked i hope

 

Not necessarily. I've never had an issue with getting or staying hard. I easily penetrate my wife, but with guys, I've never had the desire to top. I always have, and always will be a bottom with men. My cock has never gone soft while with another guy, but that doesn't mean I want to use it to penetrate another guy.
Some of us were just destined to be bottoms with guys, and the size of my cock is irrelevant in the matter

 

I've topped a couple of guys briefly but don't enjoy it like I do with a female partner. One guy asked me to do him, but said he couldn't handle it and went back to fucking me. In all cases it wound up with my ass being filled with cum. No complaints ftom me.

 

If you don't enjoy topping that's ok. Some of us just weren't meant for topping other men. There's nothing wrong with being a total bottom.

 

I find it really enjoyable and so does my top. That's all that really matters.

 

Absolutely! Some of us were just destined to be bottoms from the very beginning

 

Yep Viagra has been a bust for me. I tried cialis with some success but it's expensive.

 

I've felt that there is something in one's subconscious that says, "Nope - you're not sticking your dick in there!" and bye-bye erection. It doesn't explain why some guys lose their erection when putting on a condom, though, and the only thing I've been able to find about this is it's a form of erectile dysfunction - and that probably means that the real experts in these things don't know why, either.

 

So as I mentioned above, that condom kind of thing was an issue for me in 2020, though it wasn't in 2013 when I finally lost my gay virginity. But at the beginning of this year I went on prep to get away from having a condom issue, but then got so busy with work with 12+ hour days, never got to the swimming pool for my lengths, gained even a little more weight than I already had during Covid, and been feeling self-conscious about my 5'10, 230 lbs, and just the general lack of exercise that I'm scared of a erectile problems even without the condom issue (I'm very excited about natural bareback with the right guy and breeding him), that I haven't had sex this entire year (except for a little mutual cocksucking in a bathhouse a few months ago). What a waste of being on prep, all because of my fear. And even though the vast majority of guys don't include Chubbies in their list of what they're into on something like squirt.org, my preferred dating hookup site, there are a few that do. So it's not the outside world that's the problem: it's my inside world that is my greatest obstacle.

 

You might have a condition called "venal leak" where the blood pumps into the cock but leaks back out. I have that and nothing seems to work very long so I'm planning on getting a penile implant. Pump it up and get a hard erection any time, any place, for as long as you want it.